The Biermanns are back for Season 5 of Don't Be Tardy! In the season premiere, we catch up with Kim in the wake of the stroke that ended her run on Dancing With the Stars, as she tries to decide whether it's time for her and Kroy to add one more kid to the Biermann bunch. Plus, we have misadventures in dating apps and the return of Rose the psychic! Read on for a full recap of all the hijinks and hilarity...
Kim Zolciak-Biermann has a new lease on life, ya'll. On September 23, 2015, while she was competing on ABC's Dancing With the Stars, the RHOA alum suffered a stroke that sent her to the hospital. At 37 years old, this type of medical crisis is shockingly rare, and revealed that Kim would need to undergo heart surgery as a result. (Thankfully, just four weeks after the surgery, she was able to return to the dancing competition and perform in the finale.) The stroke provided a wake-up call for Kim, who's now determined to live every day like it could be her last - whether her wig is perfectly in place or not.
The biggest thing the stroke has motivated Kim to do is question whether her family is missing one last kid. There's nothing Kim loves more than being a mom and ow that twins Kane and Kaia have hit the terrible twos, it may be time to start thinking about another baby. If it's a boy, she even has a name picked out and everything: Kreed. Her husband Kroy Biermann is much less inclined to get his wife knocked up though. Six kids seems to be more than enough for Kroy and besides, he had a vasectomy after the twins were born. However, Kim's determined to investigate the possibility at any cost, and wants to learn what it would take to freeze her eggs.
Also back is Tracey Bloom, Kim's hilarious personal chef who seems to live full-time in the Biermanns' kitchen. Tracey is as live a wire as ever, and now that she's single, the chef is hitting dating apps like Tinder to find a new lady. However, Kim's much more concerned with whether or not Tracey is going to make dinner in time to have a home-cooked meal on the table at night. Also single and ready to mingle is Kim's oldest daughter Brielle, who broke up with now ex-boyfriend Slade Osborne while last season was airing on Bravo. Brielle refuses to try any old dating app like Tinder, but Tracey inadvertently reveals that the oldest Biermann child is actually on Bumble - an app that requires the girl to send the first message after you match. Let's give it up for Brielle, a leader in the new wave of 21st century feminism. Beyonce would be so proud.
Determined to find out whether the stroke could impact her future fertility, Kim drags Kroy in the middle of an Atlanta "blizzard" to a meeting with Dr. Hood, the OB/GYN who delivered five of her six kids. Dr. Hood informs the couple that they technically would be able to conceive one more child - if Kroy decided to reverse his vasectomy - but vows to retire the second he hears that KIm's pregnant for the seventh time. Back at home, Kroy gives Brielle a crash course in female anatomy, informing her that she has almost 400 eggs sitting in her throat. Yet in her confessional, Brielle insists that any eggs she has are sitting nice and pretty in her ladyparts, thank you very much. Now, considering I know less than Brielle about the female reproductive system, I can't confirm whether this throat theory is true and I'm too nervous to Google it and find out.
To get more validation that she needs one more child, Kim enlists her tried and trusted psychic Rose for a little house call. This is the first time the 88-year-old has ever been to Kim and Kroy's house, but when it comes to predicting Kim's pregnancies she's been on the mark every single time. Today she's giving everyone in the family a reading, from youngest to oldest. According to Rose, Kaia's going to be a wild child, KJ will have twins, Kane's getting married two different times and Kash has three lifelines. Ariana's not too thrilled to hear that she can expect to live into her nineties, while Brielle's convinced that she was Elvis Presley in a past life.
However, when it comes to Kim, Rose doesn't see any more babies in her future. Despite Kim's palm having extended a third lifeline (thanks, undoubtedly, to her new heart), Rose claims that the twins remain the last of the Biermann bunch. Upon hearing this, Kim declares that obviously her psychic isn't God, and promises that if she wants a little Kreed, he will get here eventually. One way that he definitely won't be coming though, is through Brielle as a surrogate. That's for certain.
What did you think of the season premiere of Don't Be Tardy? Are you glad Kim, Kroy and all their craziness is back? Should Kim have Baby #7? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!