This week on Southern Charm, Charleston is abuzz with confessions of unrequited love and the possibility of a major southern scandal. Could a paternity test be in order to put the brewing drama to bed? Read on for my full breakdown of everything happening in South Carolina...
The episode kicks off with Craig Conover going to meet his old boss Akim Anastopoulo at his palatial home in Charleston. After last week's tension with JD Madison at the Bourbon Gentry launch, Craig has realized his heart isn't into working for the Gentry Group and he wants to find his way back to the law. As the boss who fired him from his job as a paralegal last season, Akim is the man to go to for Craig to get back on track. However, the famed lawyer's first question is whether Craig has passed the bar exam, which makes the pretty boy balk. Umm...it's been three years since he graduated from law school but no, he hasn't passed (or even taken) the bar. Good news though, he's finally submitted his application. So that's something, right? Wrong. According to Akim, it doesn't seem like much at all has changed from the old Craig to #NewCraig. It's never too late to be what you might have been, though, and Craig's former mentor promises to help get him pointed back in the right direction.
Golden boy Shep Rose is meeting his quasi-girlfriend Bailey Bial for lunch at The Westendorff. However, what Sheppy expected to be a flirtatious afternoon date takes a left turn when Bailey arrives and it immediately becomes clear that she has a wall up. Tactfully and quickly, Bailey delivers the bad news: while she likes Shep "as a friend," she's ready for some serious commitment and that's the one thing he seems to be allergic too. Shep tries to find some sort of compromise to keep their relationship going, but Bailey's not having it. That means no more flirting, no more kissing, no more hanging out that verges a little too close to relationship territory. As she's speaking, it dawns on Sheppy that this is what it feels like to get broken up with...It doesn't seem to be a great day for our boys in Charleston.
Meanwhile, Cameran Eubanks drops by her mom Bonnie's house for an important mother-daughter chat. After filling her mom in on the disaster waiting to happen that is her real estate partnership with Shep, Cameran opens up about her meeting with a therapist a few weeks back and her hesitations about having a child. If she was expecting her mom to tell her that it's the perfect time to get pregnant and that she was born for motherhood, Cameran's in for a surprise because Bonnie gives her almost the complete opposite advice. In the world according to Bonnie, it's completely OK if Cam should decide that she doesn't want to have children. In fact, her mom has found many of her friends who haven't procreated to be some of the happiest, most intelligent people she knows. OK, is it just me or is Cameran's mom maybe the low key coolest person in all of Charleston?
While Cam and Shep bomb a real estate listing, resulting in the termination of their partnership (man Sheppy is not having the best week), Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Calhoun Dennis bring their new bundle of joy home from the hospital. As soon as Thomas drops Kathryn and baby St. Julien off and introduces Kensington to her new baby brother, he's off to meet the boys for a celebratory round of cocktails and cigars. Over a round of gigantic Cuban cigars, the proud papa shows off pictures of his heir - making sure to point out that he seems to have inherited the Ravenel balls (TMI Thomas). T-Rav also informs his buddies that no son of his will be getting circumcised, arguing that it's unfair for him to make the choice for his child and unnecessarily remove 40% of his foreskin. Again, TMI, but I suppose it's nice to learn that Shep is glad to be cut.
The next day, Shep happens to be in Landon Clements' neighborhood and drops by for an impromptu visit. After secretly confessing her love for her longtime friend to Cam last week during candle-making class, Landon's full of anxiety about seeing Shep now. Naturally, she's worried about how her confession will change the dynamic between them, but as soon as Shep mentions that he's 100% officially single, she perks up. Admitting that she was a little jealous when he got together with Bailey, Landon finally drops the bomb: she's in love with Sheppy and kinda-sorta secretly has been for years.
How does Shep react to this revelation? Not exactly as romantically as Landon imagined. As the words come out of Landon's mouth, he actually chokes on the wine he's drinking. As in literally sputters and chokes. His next reaction to the news that his longstanding platonic college buddy is in love with him is "why?" This isn't quite what you're hoping to hear when you confess your love to someone. According to Landon, her relationship with Shep has everything that was missing with her now ex-husband. Shep doesn't know how to feel about this though, claiming that he apparently had no clue Landon felt this way and quickly admitting that the revelation makes him feel bad. After an awkward bit of silence, Shep quietly heads to his car, leaving Landon with only a quick hug goodbye.
However, Landon doesn't have much time to dwell on this bomb she's dropped on Shep. Lockhart Steele from Vox Media is in town to hear her follow-up pitch for her new online travel magazine, Roam. Throwing on some lipstick and the most sheer blouse she can find, Landon arrives at her meeting ready to impress the editorial director for the media conglomerate with the hopes of getting in touch with some angel investors. Excitedly, Landon shows Lockhart what she's been working on since their last meeting in NYC. She's decided to call the site Roam and has divided it into three basic sections - Eat, Sleep and Play. It's a good idea, but Lockhart is disappointed that the brunette dreamer has brought all of her mock-ups in a paper portfolio. Considering that he told her in New York to develop a prototype for the website, Lockhart abruptly stops the meeting then and there, telling Landon that he won't be able to connect her to any investors if she can't even put her presentation on an iPad. Crestfallen, Landon is lost for words that she didn't blow the tech maven away, but refuses to give up on making her dream happen.
Later that night, Thomas visits Kathryn and the kids at her home, basking in the unconventional nuclear family he's created with the fiery redhead. Jokingly, he asks Kathryn if she's ready for baby number three, to which she bluntly replies that she'd be ready for a ring on her finger first if that were to happen. Way to go, girl. It's time Kathryn realizes she deserves more from Thomas than just his sperm. However, things seem to be better than they've been in a while between the one-time lovers. They're finally managing to get along and successfully co-parent their two kids without any screaming or volatile fights. Kathryn chalks this up to their renewed commitment to communicate effectively without letting other people (ahem, Whitney Sudler-Smith) get in their ears. Thomas, on the other hand, sees Kathryn's friend Jennifer Snowden as the negative influence in the situation, but either way, both Charmers are dedicated to make things work one way or another for their children. For now, that is...
In the wake of St. Julien's birth, queen of Charleston society Patricia Altschul decides to throw an all-male dinner party in celebration of what she calls "Thomas's achievement." This is strange for a host of reasons, (least of all the fact that Patricia hates Kathryn), but if the kaftan queen is going to throw a dinner party centered around the theme of "male chauvinist pigs" then I'm in. Shep, Craig, JD and Whitney are all in attendance in their best sport coats to support Thomas, and over a meal of homemade beef stroganoff, Shep informs the table of Landon's surprise declaration of unrequited love. Patricia supports this action of Landon's as "fearless" and encourages Shep to give things a try with his old friend, but the golden boy isn't so sure. Changing the subject to Craig's work drama with JD, Shep manages to get ahold of the bell Patricia rings to call for her butler and effectively moves the spotlight off of his matters of the heart for the remainder of the meal.
Following the meal, the group retires to the living room and the question of whether or not Thomas is going to get another paternity test done on St. Julien. He informs the men and Patricia that he and Kathryn already had one performed during her pregnancy, but the results were apparently "inconclusive." Huh? How is that possible? Shockingly, Craig pipes up and points out that it's common knowledge throughout Charleston that Kathryn was dating someone else when she got pregnant with St. Julien. T-Rav assumed it was his because of a torrid weekend love affair between him and the redhead, but it's entirely possible that St. Julien isn't actually a Ravenel. Can you imagine? What a scandal that would be! Feeling cornered, Thomas claims that he's getting mixed signals from his friends over what to do, but Patricia rather disdainfully gets the last word as she throws out that this wouldn't exactly be the first time Kathryn got caught telling a major lie. Hmm...I have the sinking feeling that this paternity test issue is not going to end well.
What did you think of this week's drama in Charleston? Do you think St. Julien is Thomas's son? Are Landon and Shep meant to be together? Leave your thoughts and opinions below in the comments section!