It's time for Shep's birthday, which is always one of the highlights of the season of Southern Charm. However, this year the typically Shepic affair is less than a raucous time as invitations cause a giant drama within the crew and leave one Charmer yet again iced out. Read on for my break down of all the Shepic birthday drama...roller skates included.
After a few months of shacking up in her parents' house, Craig Conover and his girlfriend Naomie Olindo are packing up to move. See, this whole time the house they've been living in for free was on the market and Naomie's parents have finally sold it. Don't worry though, Naomie owns another fixer-upper house in Mount Pleasant that she and Craig can easily transition to. Packing up their kitchen, Craig fills his girlfriend in on all the drama from last week's flamingo party. The resident pretty boy of the Charmer crew is still stymied as to why Kathryn Calhoun Dennis didn't get an invite, but he's developed a theory as to why she's been branded the Scarlet Letter of Charleston society. See, way back in Season 1, all of the Charmer guys had Kathryn in their sights. Obviously, she ended up with Thomas Ravenel but Shep Rose and Whitney Sudler-Smith also admitted to hooking up with the fiery redhead. Plus, once Shep slept with Kathryn, Craig lost interest and stopped pursuing her. Now, Shep isn't one to hold a grudge (as we'll soon see), so it didn't bother him or Craig that Kathryn essentially chose Thomas. However, Craig thinks that Whitney may be more bitter about losing the competition for Kathryn's affections to T-Rav and has influenced Patricia Altschul to blacklist the now-single mom from all of Charleston society. Did you follow all that, Naomie? Ok, good.
Speaking of Kathryn, she's meeting K. Cooper Ray for drinks at 81 Queen. Giving his perspective on the flamingo party showdown between Thomas and Jennifer Snowden, Cooper warns Kathryn to watch out for Snowden. Does he need to remind her that last season, the blonde denied ever hooking up with Thomas while Kathryn was pregnant with Kensie, only for Thomas to confirm later that he did sleep with her? Despite this apparent betrayal, Kathryn points out that besides Cooper, Jennifer is basically her only reliable friend as of late. So, she's completely capable of figuring out who her real friends are, OK? At the same time, Whitney Sudler-Smith, whom I continue to forget is even on this show, is talking about Patricia's passive-aggressive showdown at her party with Cooper over...what else? His friendship with Kathryn. Even though Patricia claimed at the party that she didn't care who Cooper was friends with, she makes it clear to Whitney that the dapper dandy is no longer on her good side. Hope Cooper enjoyed the flamingo party because he won't be getting an invite back to Patricia's estate any time soon.
While Shep's friend Bailey comes over to paint him like one of her French boys as part of his birthday present, Landon Clements meets Whitney at Charleston's local thrift store to do some costume shopping. Landon's put herself in charge of throwing Shep's 36th birthday party this year and is putting together a 70s-themed roller disco at the skating rink to celebrate Charleston's golden boy in the most Shepic way possible. As the pair shop for the most disco-appropriate attire they can find, Whitney asks who's on the guest list for the party. Shep has asked Landon to invite all of his friends, which includes all the Charmers...even Kathryn. However, Landon is less-than-enthused to send an invitation to the redhead and may or may not have a trick up her sleeve to get what she wants.
Now that Kathryn's officially moved into her cute little house in Mount Pleasant, her next goal is to reintegrate herself into the group. She stops by recurring cast member Danni Baird's house, who advises her that - as long as it doesn't turn back into the Thomas and Kathryn train wreck - she may be surprised at how receptive and welcoming others in the group will be if Kathryn reaches out. Taking Danni's advice, Kathryn starts with Cameran Eubanks, who would seem like the most logical first person since the Southern sweetheart is so often the group's voice of reason. However, Cameran's reception isn't quite as warm and friendly as Kathryn was expecting. When Kathryn invites her to meet for lunch or coffee, Cameran balks at the suggestion and all but runs for the metaphoric hills. For the past two years, she's had a front row seat to the above mentioned Thomas and Kathryn show and couldn't be less interested in watching season 3. Even as Kathryn explains that she wants to be friends with Cam not as Thomas's ex or girlfriend, but just as herself, Cameran handily turns down the olive branch. Ouch.
The Charmers get dolled up in their best polyester and groovy colors, and it's time to celebrate Sheppy's birthday! Landon is all kinds of excited with her custom-fit roller skates and disco cupcakes, but forgot to mention one little detail: there's no drinking allowed in the skating rink. What?? Does Landon even know Shep at all? As Cameran points out in her confessional, it seems almost un-American to celebrate Shep's birthday without a beer in hand. Oh and also, Shep has never roller skated in his life - he was more of a skateboarder who beat up the nerdy kids on roller skates. Yikes, this party is off to a great start. As the whole gang piles onto the 70s party bus, Shep notices that one person is missing. Where's Kathryn? Dodging the question, Landon claims she doesn't know but it's not her fault if Kathryn's late for the bus. Arriving at the skating rink, Craig turns out to be the best skater of the bunch by far. The rest of the Charmers manage to hobble around the rink either clinging to the wall or falling on their faces. As the birthday boy takes a tumble thanks to his gangly limbs, it's clear that Landon missed the mark on the definition of a "Shepic" party...
As the party continues to roll on, Craig notices that Kathryn's still MIA and decides to give her a call but gets no answer. The gang chows down on a spread of roller rink-approved food - nachos and cupcakes included - while admiring the childhood pictures of Shep posted around the rink, and Shep decides to try Kathryn again. To his surprise, Kathryn informs him that she didn't know about his birthday party until she got Craig's voicemail. Shep explains that Landon was in charge of the invitations, but it's clear that Kathryn never got one. Oops? Further, Kathryn found out from Thomas that the entire group got an email about the party as well and she wasn't included. However, she insists she knows Shep wasn't the one trying to exclude her and, wishing him a happy birthday, says goodbye. Now Shep is angry and confused, and confronts Landon about his conversation with Kathryn. Did Landon really send her an invite? Landon claims she sent a text, but why didn't Kathryn know about the party? Defensively, Landon that if Kathryn didn't bother showing up for the birthday party, then who cares? Well...Shep cares, and it's his party. Landon angrily skates away from the confrontation and declares she's done talking. In her confessional, the brunette complains that even when Kathryn's not around, she can ruin a perfectly good time. However, this time I'm not so sure that was Kathryn's doing...Talk about a Shepic birthday fail, Landon.