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Spinoffs & Other Shows

Recaps, opinion pieces and analysis of Bravo TV shows including Don't Be Tardy, Manzo'd With Children, Ladies of London, Tour Group, Shahs of Sunset and Southern Charm.

Don't Be Tardy Ssn 4/Ep 2 - 18 and Out

Glenn Rowley

tardy-kroy-possum-hunter

This week, Don't Be Tardy is all about possum hunting, dog hard-ons and Brielle turning 18! You know, the big things in life mixed with the small, hilarious ones. The episode starts with Kroy, Brielle, Slade the boyfriend and Tracey the chef playing pool while Kim watches from the sidelines. Kim announces that whichever team loses has to make German chocolate cake, which sounds like an excellent idea to start applying to all future competitions in my life. Kim's assistant Gloria brings the puppies downstairs and Jet's "red willy" is on display for all to see. The dogs finally weigh more than three pounds, so it's officially time to get them fixed. After Jet manages to pee on Brielle's white pants, conversations turns to the mystery of Turbo's missing doggy ball. (No, not the squeaky toy kind.) To Kim, missing a ball is a serious thing - what if your husband only had one? Kroy jokingly explains that each ball has its own sac, but Kim isn't so sure. You don't have two sacs like you have two boobs...right? 

tardy-tracey-stealing

Meanwhile, Brielle's 18th birthday is right around the corner. Kim might as well find a therapist now and just start prepping for the impending mental breakdown. Tracey announces that she's had a therapist for years because she used to be a kleptomaniac. Rather than asking and believing, she was just receiving...a lot of household goods. However, after 12 years of therapy, Tracey's gotten to the root of the problem and is a reformed woman. A gullible Kim doesn't know whether to fall for this new information or not - one time Tracey even convinced her she'd been on Maury Povich's show so who knows. Kim asks if a therapist could help her let Brielle spread her wings and leave the nest, because at the moment Kim wants her oldest to live with her forever. She readily admits that she's secretly hoping Brielle doesn't go to college so she can just stay under Kim's roof.

kim-stealing-react

Conversation turns to what they're going to do for Brielle's birthday and Kim insists that, being her big 18th, they need to "blow it out." Since she was little, Brielle's greatest wish has been a Jeep and Kim thinks turning 18 is the time to give it to her. Kroy, however, isn't ready to just hand Brielle a new car on a silver platter and thinks they should make her work for it. After all, her track record of vehicular damage isn't great with four wrecked cars under her belt. What happened to the infamous gold Honda, by the way? Eventually, Kim sees Kroy's point and agrees to send Brielle on a scavenger hunt around the city to torture her into earning her present. After all, what's funnier than annoying a teenager? 

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In the middle of the birthday planning, Kroy spots a possum outside wandering their property, which obviously causes Kim to scream bloody murder. I'm with Kim, those big rodents are just creepy and disgusting. Kroy runs for a gun, asking if he should shoot it and Tracey points out that possums shouldn't be out during the day since they're nocturnal. Maybe it has rabies and that's why it's wandering around in the sunlight? Kim tells Tracey to Google whether possums are dangerous, but the chef says some possums got into her crib as a kid so they're probably OK. Kroy comes back with a giant rifle and Kim wants to know what happens to the bullet if he shoots the vermin. Kim frantically points out that we don't just shoot guns in broad daylight like this, nor do we try to take pictures of the possum for Instagram. And here people wonder why Kim drinks wine at 4 o'clock in the afternoon...

Later, Kim and Gloria go to the vet's to pick up the newly-neutered puppies. Kim is looking especially smoking in her white crop top and skirt. Good news! The vet fixed Jet's "red willy" problem and managed to find Turbo's missing testicle. But now, the dogs have to endure a week of humiliation wearing cones of shame and "sh**ing in their cage," as little KJ so eloquently puts it. Poor puppies.

brielle-dishes

Finally, the day of Brielle's surprise scavenger hunt arrives. Kim says in her interview that it's a good distraction from all the stress about potentially moving the family. In putting the scavenger hunt together, however, they had to keep it relatively easy for Brielle and Slade, who put together don't equal a whole brain when it comes to common sense. The hunt kicks off at a restaurant downtown when Tracey asks the couple to go pick up a mixed-up order for her. To get the clues, Brielle has to find a "Larry" at each location and perform the task they give her. First up? Cleaning piles of dirty dishes in the restaurant's kitchen, wearing a hairnet, while her parents crack up via FaceTime. Once the dishes are (somewhat) sparkling, the next clue sends Brielle to the local SkyZone, where she has to dig through the ball pit to find another clue. 

tardy-brielle-bday

The next clue sends Brielle and Slade back to the Biermann house, where Tracey and Ariana have donned mustaches as the final "Larrys". Brielle opens her fake gift - a black Louis Vuitton clutch she'd been wanting -  and at the code words "do you like it?", Kim and Kroy come barreling into the driveaway in Brielle's brand new Jeep Wrangler. The birthday girl is visibly stunned and bursts into a flood of happy tears. In her confessional, Kim tries to articulate just how excited she is to give Brielle the car and says it's impossible to put a price tag on her grateful reaction. Kim is still struggling with the fact that her oldest is now 18 and getting ready to leave the nest. She explains that she's not ready now, she wasn't ready when Brielle was born and probably won't ever be. It's a catch 22 for a mom - Kim want to see her kid grow up and do great things, but also wants her to stay a baby forever. As Brielle drives off in her new car, Ariana brings up the truck she wants for her 16th birthday, which is only a few years away. Never fear, Kim still has five more kids to raise after Brielle - the madness at the Biermann house isn't ending any time soon.