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Real Housewives

Filtering by Tag: vacation

RHOP S2/Ep 11 Recap - The Grande Dame Sham

Glenn Rowley

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This week on The Real Housewives of Potomac, the battle of the hostesses comes to a head in Bermuda and the women strip Karen of her grande dame title upon learning she's moved out of Potomac. Read on for a full recap of all the drama...

We're back in Bermuda and the tension is thick. Charrisse Jackson Jordan is livid with Karen Huger for secretly hosting an exclusive sailing excursion on the day she was supposed to plan for the 'Wives. Under the guise of fixing the bad blood between Gizelle Bryant and Monique Samuels, it was surely an underhanded move on the grande dame's part and Charrisse is ready to confront her rival on a sunset cruise. Unsurprisingly, Karen refuses to apologize for her sneaky power play and the conversation quickly devolves into a verbal sparring match between the two. Karen calls the sunset cruise her nemesis planned just "OK" compared to her "fantastic" event and Charrisse fires back that she spent more on the yacht than the Hugers' net worth before telling the grande dame to take a swim off the side of the boat. As Gizelle points out in her confessional, Charrisse lives for a good Karen fight and she's definitely winning this one. 

Later that night, a defensive Karen vents to Monique about her fight with Charrisse, declaring their friendship officially done regardless of how genuine it was in the past. At the same time, Charrisse off-handedly drops a bombshell that the Hugers bought their Potomac mansion when it was in foreclosure, adding fuel to the speculation that all isn't what it seems when it comes to the finances of Black Bill Gates and family. Maybe this is another reason why Karen is being so cagey and secretive about her move?

The next day, the women soak in Bermuda by attending a traditional game of cricket. It may be one of the island's most popular sporting events, but the game goes entirely over the ladies' heads. Charrisse and Karen spend the afternoon giving each other the cold shoulder, but it turns out that Robyn Dixon is one hot commodity on the island. The men of Bermuda seem to flock to her, entranced by her exotic features and bright green eyes. Yet, despite her therapist's assignment to go on a date with someone other than Juan, she's not feeling it with any of the guys and realizes that this trip is making her reevaluate what she wants back home with her ex-husband. Robyn loves Juan and that's that, homework assignment be damned. 

On the last night in Bermuda, Karen does a complete about-face and comes to Charrisse's hotel suite to offer an unexpected apology. Claiming the two "got off on the wrong foot" in co-hosting the trip, Karen now wants to make up and claims she and Charrisse need to provide a "unified front" in being the alpha females of the group. This is all well and good, but one has to wonder how Charrisse would be taking this mea culpa if she knew all the nasty things Karen said about her that were caught by a hot mic at the end of last week's episode...Either way, the trip ends with an impromptu pajama party in Charrisse's suite and the women even get competitive in a hilarious freestyling rap battle led by Monique. Cheers to Bermuda!

Finally back in Potomac, Ashley Darby is forced to confront the issues with Michael she was running away from by going on the girls trip. The couple's restaurant remains the giant emu-shaped wedge in their relationship. However, Michael reveals that he's already made changes to Ashley's role at Oz while she was away in Bermuda. Without consulting her. Once again, this move by her husband leaves Ashley feeling disrespected and undermined, but the good news is that she'll no longer be in charge of managing the day-to-day operations of the restaurant. Michael's made her just an owner with the hope that this decision will eliminate some of the tension in their relationship and honestly, Ashley doesn't seem too upset about the change.

Charrisse has finally completed the renovations on her brand new champagne room and all the women gather at the Jordan mansion for the room's grand unveiling - complete with a white-gloved butler answering the door and fancy ribbon cutting ceremony. However, a huge piece of gossip is on everyone's lips at the party: word on the street is that Karen came back from Bermuda to a new house in Great Falls, Va. That's right, under the cover of darkness, the Hugers have moved out of Potomac and left the prestigious 20854 zip code behind. This is certainly a far cry from what Karen told the ladies while they were in Bermuda and now the grande dame is going to have some serious explaining to do. 

After the grand unveiling, Karen finally reveals her move to the 'Wives, trying to couch it in "I live in Great Falls now, remember?" No, grande dame, they don't remember. Because you never told them where you were moving. Karen provides yet another cockamamie story about her "private sale option" that's really just code for the fact that she's renting the new house in Great Falls. Naturally suspicious, the women are quick to question the inconsistencies: if Monique could purchase a $5 million mansion in Potomac, why are the Black Bill Gates and the grande dame renting? Ashley gleefully points out that this means Karen will no longer hold the title of "the grande dame of Potomac" but everyone knows Karen won't be giving that title up until someone pries it from her cold, dead hands. Karen argues that the only way she can be stripped of the title is if she chooses to bestow it on someone else but as the conversation turns into a full-blown confrontation, Robyn takes charge and jokingly dethrones the grande dame, tossing her imaginary crown to the ground. Karen doesn't take well to this unceremonious dumping and fires back at Ashley by snapping that she refuses to listen to the opinion of "the idiot on the end of [the couch]." And with that, we get a "To Be Continued..." placard leading into the season finale...

What did you think of this week's RHOP? Has Karen been dethroned as the grande dame of Potomac? Did Charrisse win the battle in Bermuda? Who's the real alpha female of the group? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!

RHOP S2/Ep 10 Recap - Welcome to the Bermuda Triangle

Glenn Rowley

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This week on The Real Housewives of Potomac, the women head to Bermuda where Karen brokers a peace treaty between Gizelle and Monique while excluding the rest of the 'Wives from a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Plus, the battle of who's hosting the trip continues as Charrisse butts heads with the grande dame, leading to a bombshell accusation off-camera. Read on for a full recap of the many battles in Bermuda...

The 'Wives are ready to jet off to Bermuda but before they leave, a few items of business are left to attend to. Gizelle Bryant is nervous to inform her mother that she's planning on breaking up with Kevin, her quasi-boyfriend. After making an effort to date, she simply doesn't know if she can get him out of the friend zone in her mind and, to Gizelle's surprise, her mom is supportive. Meanwhile, en route to the airport Karen reveals that she and the black Bill Gates are moving to a house she found in Great Falls, VA. That's right, the grande dame is leaving Potomac but she's not ready to tell the rest of the 'Wives just yet that she's vacating the posh 20854 zip code. 

The ladies land in Bermuda, and it quickly becomes apparent that the drama over who's hostessing the trip has followed them from Potomac when their driver appears at the airport holding a sign emblazoned with "Huger + Guests." Then, upon arriving at their fancy luxury resort, the women each receive a welcome basket with a note from Karen - and only Karen - attached. All of the 'Wives are utterly confused over who is hosting this trip and Charrisse Jackson Jordan certainly isn't pleased with being sidelined and given no credit by Karen. All I know is if Sha Sha got a condescending welcome basket, she's going to be ready to throw down with the grande dame. 

However, Karen isn't done quite yet. Next, she treats the ladies to a fancy welcome dinner, complete with an impromptu performance by traditional Bermudian Gombey dancers. During the meal, tension remains thick between the battling hostesses and conversation veers toward a number of controversial topics - from Robyn Dixon's "homework assignment" to go on a date with someone other than Juan to Gizelle not being invited to nemesis Monique Samuels' party last week. Finally, the topic of the Hugers' move comes up, leading Karen to cryptically share that her home sold thanks to a cash offer from overseas. Yet, when the women ask point blank where she and the black Bill Gates are moving, Karen clams up and refuses to answer. Hmm...that's not mysterious at all...

The following day, Charrisse, Robyn and Ashley Darby are ready to hit the beach, only to discover that Karen had yet another trick up her sleeve. The grande dame has secretly arranged a sailing excursion with Team Japan of the American Cup in an effort to get Gizelle and Monique to put their bad blood to rest and move forward. Naturally, finding out they weren't invited on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity leaves the other women feeling blindsided and left out. Wasn't Karen just barely preaching about how this trip is all about sisterhood and bonding at dinner the night before?

Both Gizelle and Monique are less than pleased to discover they're being forced to spend the day together - the look on Gizelle's face when Monique stepped onto the bus says it all. On the way to the marina, the OG and the new girl waste no time once again airing their grievances with each other, (reminder: Gizelle thinks Monique is insecure and Monique thinks Gizelle is jealous), but Karen is determined to force the two to get along despite Gizelle telling her nemesis point blank that she "wouldn't be here" without her husband and his bank account. However, Karen's grand plan works! Once the women get out on the sailboat, they are encouraging and kind to one another, and Gizelle helps Monique overcome her fear of being on the water. By the end of the excursion, the pair even share a hug! It's a Potomac miracle!

However, Karen still has to face the wrath of the other 'Wives when she returns from the sailing expedition. Charrisse has planned a sunset cruise for the evening, but before they set sail, Robyn decides to confront the grande dame in her hotel room for hanging herself, Ashley and Sha Sha out to dry. Karen tries to defend actions by claiming that she would've been in a lose-lose situation had she shared anything about the American Cup beforehand, but Robyn takes her to task by pointing out that excluding half the group only made the grande dame look like a hypocrite. Then, as Robyn storms out, a hot mic catches Karen dropping an off-camera bombshell. Just when she thinks the cameras are down, the grande dame unleashes a vitriolic tirade about Charrisse, whom she mistakenly blames for Robyn's ambush. Calling her frenemy "jealous," "evil" and a "New Jersey harlot," Karen spews out that she's not the one going around Potomac "screwing the fireman" and threatens to post a picture of the still-married Charrisse and the mysterious boyfriend who spawned the cease-and-desist letter to Gizelle as the season began if she comes for the grande dame one more time. And with that earth-shattering revelation, the episode ends with an ominous "To Be Continued..."

What did you think of this week's RHOP? Are you Team Karen or Team Charrisse? Can you believe Gizelle and Monique made up? Do Robyn, Ashley and Sha Sha have a right to be angry for being left out? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!

RHOBH Ssn 7/Ep 15 Recap - Hong Kong Fireworks

Glenn Rowley

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills take Hong Kong! This week, the ladies of the 90210 head overseas to support Lisa Vanderpump in her fight against animal cruelty, plus it's the perfect excuse for a fabulously exotic girls trip. However, the long-awaited explosion between Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley turns the vacation into anything but Shangri-La. Read on to relive all the drama from Hong Kong...

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There's no doubt about it: RHOBH always has the most glamorous cast trips out of any cities in the Housewives franchise. Unlike some of their sister cities (ahem...Jersey), we've seen the women jaunt to far-flung locales like Paris, Amsterdam and Dubai. Over the years. Think RHOA's current trip to Hawaii looks like a good time? The Beverly Hills 'Wives did it first, way back in Season 2. Though, if we're being honest, last season's excursion to Dubai was a bit of a disaster on all fronts, so this time the ladies are hoping for a better outcome. Cue the packing montage! Erika Jayne has her glam squad and high fashion lookbook in tow, Dorit apparently has another assistant whom we've never seen before and Lisa Rinna is left all alone with her dog, proving that the number one hustler of Beverly Hills can basically use anyone as a scene partner when the cameras are around. For Lisa Vanderpump, however, the trip has a far more important purpose: she's overseeing the production of a documentary to stop the barbaric Yulin Dog Festival, a cause she has passionately championed since learning about the week-long slaughter held in Yulin, China every year.

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After a 15-hour flight, the ladies land in Hong Kong and blown away by how picturesque, cosmopolitan and gigantic the city is. Fighting off jetlag, they don their best Chinese-inspired looks (hel-LO Erika Jayne's victory rolls and kimono!) and convene for cocktails at the luxury, 5-star Shangri-La Hotel where they're staying. Over drinks, Eden Sassoon regales the 'Wives with the news that she's invited her online lover "London" to meet her for a weekend of romance in New York City. Not only that, the trip is on her dime. And they're sharing a hotel room. WHAT?? The rest of the women balk at this revelation and jump into common sense, protective mode: what if Eden is being catfished? What if this guy turns out to be an axe murderer and she ends up dismembered in a suite overlooking Times Square? Shouldn't she book a separate room as a safety precaution? The season's official Friend of the Housewives laughs off the women's concerns, saying that she plans to greet her internet lover half-naked in bed when he arrives in the Big Apple. And besides, she could just as easily kill him, right? Whatever you say Eden, but to anyone reading this recap - please take this as a warning regarding internet safety in the age of online dating.

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The following morning, Lisa Rinna needs to get something off her chest with Dorit. Apparently an unnamed source has come to Rinna with information that the newbie may have taken their night of bonding over Xanax and smoothies the wrong way and was spreading a rumor during the trip to Mexico that the biggest pair of lips in Beverly Hills has a pill problem. Dorit staunchly denies the accusation, assuring Rinna that any time she's mentioned it to the other women, she has always maintained that the bag of pills moment was all in good fun. Now Dorit wants to know who told Lisa Rinna, but the latter refuses to reveal her source - changing her story to say that she just magically had a sixth sense about the situation. Hmm...I'm willing to bet money that this mysterious "sixth sense" was actually someone in production filling Rinna in behind the scenes.

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Finally, the 'Wives decide to divide and conquer the city: Lisa Rinna and Eden are heading to the top of Victoria Peak (the highest mountain in Hong Kong) and Kyle Richards and Erika are going sightseeing (a.k.a. staking out Chanel), while LVP is busy filming voiceovers and confessionals for her documentary with Dorit and Eileen Davidson in tow. Yes, you read that correctly: rather than stick with (any of) her pals, Eileen decides to take the high road in a sincere effort to learn more about the queen bee's work with #StopYulinForever. The proverbial olive branch stuns even Lisa Vanderpump herself, who's touched by the gesture and wonders via confessional if this could be the start of a new, less acrimonious chapter between herself and her soap star frenemy.

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Meanwhile, Erika opens up to Kyle about visiting her mother last week while surrounded by turtles and water features in Hong Kong Park, and Lisa Rinna relays her earlier confrontation with Dorit to Eden with the entirety of Hong Kong as a stunning backdrop from their seats in a boba shop. Validating Rinna's suspicions, Eden reveals that Dorit, in fact, questioned her about Rinna's supposed pill problem. Keep in mind that Dorit merely made an offhand comment wondering if her fellow 'Wife's personality was "induced in some way" while Rinna and Eden were on the outs, but now the fire has been flamed and according to Rinna the newest Housewife is being a "pussy with a capital P.")  

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Later that evening, the 'Wives reconvene for a sunset cruise through Victoria Harbour on a traditional Chinese junk boat. With the Hong Kong skyline at their backs, Lisa Vanderpump raises a toast to all the ladies being together and honestly, the experience looks truly magical. As the sun begins to set, LVP opens the floor for discussion and Dorit seizes the opportunity to ask the entire group who told Lisa Rinna she was gossiping about her in Mexico. Rinna once again changes her story, insisting this time that she magically conjured up the idea herself but admits via confessional that she's lying to protect her unnamed source. Dorit points out the rather obvious holes in Rinna's story, but none of the other 'Wives come forward - lending additional credence to my theory that a production source was the person in Rinna's ear. LVP and Kyle both claim they don't remember the scandalous bag of pills being the focal point of conversation in Mexico, but Erika sides with Rinna, asking Dorit why she brought it up at all if she didn't think Rinna had a pill problem.

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Tension is mounting and at this point, the argument shifts to a showdown between Erika Jayne and Dorit. Bad blood has been brewing between the two ever since #Pantygate and - as Erika points out in her confessional - now seems as good a time as any to air their true feelings about each other. Dorit denies ever saying Rinna had a pill problem but Erika bluntly levies that the newbie is just as guilty by implying the same thing. Dorit demands to know what Erika's problem is with her, pointing out that - out of the entire group of women - the pop singer is the only 'Wife she hasn't bonded with despite her best efforts. She also throws out that Erika doesn't talk enough, but the self-proclaimed ice queen fires back that she "say[s] important sh**" while her costar says "too much boring sh**." SHOTS FIRED! Finally, Erika gets to the root of the animosity: she simply doesn't like "bullsh**" and that's exactly what she thinks Dorit is. When Dorit exclaims that she should just say that to her face then, Erika drops the mic because guess what? She just did.

With that, the trip to Hong Kong (and the conclusion of this argument) is "To Be Continued" next week. What did you think of this week's RHOBH? How fabulous was Hong Kong? Who is Lisa Rinna's source? Does she have a pill problem? Are you Team Erika or Team Dorit? Tell me everything in the comments below!

RHONY Ssn 8/Ep 17 - And Away We Finally Go

Glenn Rowley

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This week on The Real Housewives of New York City, the women head to Palm Beach, Florida to celebrate Luann's engagement on a glamorous yacht. But when Bethenny finds herself with incriminating information about Tom, it looks like there could be trouble in paradise for the Countess' fairytale ending. Read on for a full recap of the drama...

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Dorinda Medley has an announcement to make. After a season of unexpected health problems and cancelled trips, the 'Wives are finally going somewhere on vacation. Since Bethenny Frankel's started bleeding again (as a complication of her fibroids), the trip proposed last week to Hawaii is now out of the question. According to Dorinda, the next best place she can take the ladies is Miami, which she informs Luann de Lesseps, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan over lunch at Ristorante Morini. Of course, the Countess is over the moon at this news - considering that she's been spending much of the winter at her fianceé Tom D'Agostino Jr.'s place in Palm Beach. Ramona, on the other hand, considers a trip to Miami to be about as exciting as brushing her teeth in the morning. But either way, Miami here we come! 

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To prep for the girls trip, Jules Wainstein invites Ramonja to come shoe shopping with her at Jeffrey New York. While the newbie hunts for the perfect pair of Asian-inspired daytime shoes, Ramona has a bone to pick with Luann and needs to get it off her chest. Apparently the Countess took the bait in a press interview at a fashion show and dragged both Ramona and Sonja's names into the story by giving a quote about how much she "doesn't care" that her fiancé was romantically connected to her fellow 'Wives before proposing to her. And on top of that, the reporter got the quote wrong - writing that Ramona was Tom's "friend with benefits" instead of Sonja. Oops. Now Ramona's officially ticked off, particularly considering that Luann basically tried placing a gag order on all the other 'Wives in regards to talking about her relationship in the press. Seems like a double standard to an awfully annoyed Ramonacoaster. 

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Meanwhile, Bethenny's invited some of the 'Wives over to discuss logistics for the trip to Miami while munching on macarons and tea sandwiches. (Oh and it's also official: B has to get her fibroids surgically removed.) Apparently, on the first night of the vacation a friend of Luann's is throwing her and Tom an engagement party on a yacht in Palm Beach, and all the 'Wives are supposed to attend before heading to Miami on Saturday. Bethenny's bowing out of the celebration with a dozen valid excuses, but is tickled at the thought of Luann, Tom, Sonja and Ramona all stuck on a boat together. Ramona questions what kind of man would even go after three different girlfriends in the first place. After all, it's kind of common knowledge that she, Sonja and Lu run in the same nationally televised circle of friends. However, Bethenny puts money on Sonja starting some drama on the yacht by bringing up her decade-long friends with benefits history with Tom. Hmm...this should be interesting. 

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While Jules leaves early to visit her adorable parents in Boca Raton, the rest of the ladies arrive in Palm Beach and head straight to the yacht for Luann's engagement party. Naturally, the Countess has donned her best bridal-white cocktail attire and is gleefully strutting around the boat in anticipation of showing it off to the other women. (Keep in mind, it's not actually her boat...) Luann simply can't help herself sometimes, yet unbeknownst to her, Ramona's still peeved over the press mishap. Sonja blames Dorinda for stirring up trouble between the two OGs, but Ramotional insists it's common knowledge that Luann's the one who actually calls in all the stories about her in the press. Plus, shouldn't Tom be held accountable for the mess he's created between three Housewives? As Dorinda points out in her confessional, this kind of upstairs/downstairs business just isn't right.

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Carole Radziwill's the last to show up on the dock, having decided to attend the engagement party with her investigative journalist cap secretly on. I mean, she's never met the infamous Tom who's romanced three of her friends, so how can she resist watching what's sure to be a sinking ship? While Luann parades her friends around the borrowed yacht, squawking constantly about how she can't believe she's getting married, Dorinda gives her the heads up that Ramona's planning on confronting her on the boat. However, the Countess is determined that this engagement party in her honor is going to go off without a hitch, and vows that the Singer Stinger won't be bothering her for the duration of the trip. This night is all about Luann. Period, end of story.

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Meanwhile, Bethenny's over in Miami in possession of an earth-shattering development in the Tom and Luann love story. A bomb has literally been dropped in Bethenny's lap: the night before she left for Miami, an unidentified friend sent her pictures of Tom making out with a girl. A girl who happens to be a former Playboy model and is decidedly not Luann. In the wake of all the drama over Tom's history with Ramona and Sonja, this new information is just...beyond belief. According to Bethenny, Tom's reputation is that he only dates a very specific "barracuda crew" found on the Upper East Side, yet these damning pictures she now holds in her hand could mean his fairy tale wedding with Countess will be over. Now, the only question is when and how she'll tell Luann...

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Back on the yacht, Tom arrives just as night is falling and the party's about to start. As he cozies up to Luann, it dawns on me that this is only the second time we've seen him on camera and I realize that despite the Countess shoving their love down our throat all season, we really don't know much about him. This lack of information doesn't bode well. Down in her room, Ramona's getting glammed up with Carole and Sonja, and can't help but point out that the last time Sonja saw Tom, she was romping around with him in bed. How's she going to react to seeing him? Because that's not weird at all. Sonja promises she's simply going to be her flirty, coquettish self, but she starts getting emotional when she realizes the stories Tom and Luann have been feeding her aren't exactly matching up. This whole time Sonja's tried to be diplomatic and supportive for Luann's sake, but is it possible that Tom knew full well that the Countess was living with Lady Morgan when he started pursuing a relationship? What's really B.L. now? It looks like we'll have to wait until next week to find out, because we're blessed with yet another ominous "To Be Continued..." warning as the episode draws to a close. 

What did you think of this week's RHONY? Can Tom be trusted? Does Ramona have a right to be angry at Luann for talking to the press? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below!

RHOC Ssn 11/Ep 2 - Making Friends But Not Amends

Glenn Rowley

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This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, the new girl cozies up to Vicki but makes a strong second impression on the other girls at Meghan's demolition party. Plus, Heather jets off to Turks and Caicos for some much-needed family time with Terry and the kids. Read on for my full recap of this week's drama...

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The episode picks up right where the premiere left off: in the midst of Vicki Gunvalson's conversation with Heather Dubrow at the latter's yacht party. Vicki asks Heather for forgiveness regarding Brooks Ayers's fake cancer scam last season and just wants to be friends again, but Fancy Pants isn't letting her off the hook that easily. Heather rightfully points out that she doesn't care what the OG's ex-boyfriend did, she only cares about Vicki's involvement in the lies. Vicki still stands by her claim that Brooks lied and pulled the wool over her eyes as well, though none of her fellow Housewives believe that story. However, Heather graciously ends the conversation by reiterating that she cares about Vicki and advises her to talk to each of the girls to individually make amends. What the other 'Wives do with Vicki's olive branch is up to them. The OG bursts into tears on the way home, telling former Housewife Jeana Keough that she just doesn't want to talk about it anymore. No more Brooks. No more cancer. No more medical records. Can't everyone just leave the whole mess in the past and let her try to be happy again?

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The next morning, while newbie Kelly Dodd engages in the classic mother/daughter warfare of getting Jolie to school and Heather's packing for the Dubrow family's trip to Turks and Caicos, Tamra Judge is dealing with her own family drama. It turns out that things aren't all sunshine and romance for her son Ryan Vieth and his fiancé Sarah Rodriguez. In fact, the fighting has gotten so bad that Ryan's moved out to an apartment while Sarah continues living in the house Tamra spent $8000 on last season with the four girls. Ryan explains to his mom that most of their fights revolve around petty issues like Facebook and Instagram, but truthfully I'm too busy staring at his incredible beard to focus on all the details. Of course, Tamra's husband Eddie is less than pleased to learn that his wife is starting to get involved in Ryan and Sarah's drama and demands she stay out of it. Any bets that Tamra will do what Eddie said and take a step back from the family drama? Didn't think so...

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Apparently it's February in Orange County, because Shannon Beador and her husband David are celebrating Valentine's Day at The Ritz. Watching the couple during dinner, it's clear that the Beadors' marriage has come so far in the wake of David's affair. However, David's still not quite the perfect husband, as evidenced by Shannon unwrapping her Valentine's Day gift from him. Upon seeing the slightly garish pearl necklace, Shannon's face freezes into a deer-in-headlights smile as she assures David that she loves it. (According to her confessional, David has a long history of picking out gifts that his wife would never buy herself and this seems to be an extreme instance to add to the list.) But hey, at least Shannon continues to wear the necklace she so clearly hates through the rest of dinner. And that, folks, is what true love's about...When the yacht party comes up, Shannon makes it clear that she has nothing to say to Vicki - she has no intention whatsoever of rebuilding any sort of friendship with the OG after last year's cancer scam. According to Shannon, forgiveness means moving on, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to go back to being BFFs.

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While Vicki hosts a Chamber of Commerce mixer at Coto Insurance back in the OC, Heather's soaking up family time in the Turks and Caicos sunshine. Their trip to the Beaches resort looks like a total dream, and includes a full-service butler named Ainsworth for the length of their stay. This family vacation is particularly important to Heather, who explains in her confessional that Terry says yes to so many things when it comes to work that he barely ever spends time with the kids anymore. Heather laments that her husband is missing the kids growing up, but in his own confessional Terry sheepishly admits that he doesn't actually feel all that bad about working so much. He's more creatively and professionally fulfilled than ever. Plus, someone has to pay for the Dubrow Chateau, right? Ouch. I guarantee that's not what Heather was hoping to hear when she watched this episode back to write her Bravo blog.

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Despite Meghan King Edmonds' warning at the yacht party, Kelly decides to cozy up to Vicki by asking the OG to lunch. Vicki's "whoop it up" radar goes off when it comes to the new girl, and the two women immediately bond over their love of having fun and the fact that they share a height and a shoe size. Vicki also opens up about her love life, lamenting that she's been alone for seven months since she broke up with Brooks. However, Briana and the boys are moving back to Orange County from Oklahoma soon, so she won't be alone for long. I for one find it hilarious that Kelly pretends not to know anything about Vicki's relationship with Brooks, considering that last season's scandal made national headlines all over the internet. Give me a break. My mom even knows what happened with Brooks and she's never seen a single episode of any show in the franchise.

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As an excuse to get together, Meghan invites Shannon, Tamra and Kelly over to help demolish her new kitchen. Shannon arrives as her lesbian alter ego, Deb the Contractor and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Please, please, please let us see more of Deb this season. Donning hard hats and googles, the ladies take turns putting hammers through the walls and sawing two-by-fours and part of me is shocked that no one cut off a finger. Retiring to the sitting room for some champagne in red Solo cups, Kelly reveals to her new friends that she went to lunch with Vicki the day before. Naturally, this is met with wide-eyed stares and awkward silence from the veteran ladies, who are less than pleased that the newbie is deliberately choosing to befriend the one 'Wife on the outs. Then, Kelly takes it a step further by claiming she thought the other 'Wives were "mean" to Vicki at the yacht party. Whoa, Kelly. Slow your roll. Shannon and Tamra curtly remind the new girl that she wasn't around last year, so she has no context for the group's current dynamic and should really stay out of it. This is not a great second impression for the new girl on the block.

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It gets worse. After telling Shannon she found her to be standoffish at the yacht party, she manages to make Tamra cry by asking about her relationship with ex-husband Simon. This naturally turns the conversation to Tamra's estranged relationship with her oldest daughter, whom she hasn't seen or had any contact with in two years. Tears start to fall as Tamra expresses her fear that she won't be invited to her daughter's high school graduation, and now Kelly's feeling awkward because everyone hates her. Oops. In an attempt to redirect the conversation, Kelly reveals that she and her husband Michael filed for divorce and were separated for two years, but eventually decided to get back together. As if that wasn't bizarre enough, Kelly then drops the bombshell that her husband has  a narcissistic personality disorder, which he discovered after undergoing a 730 psychiatric evaluation. As for whether she loves her husband, Kelly merely responds that he's "a really nice person." Hmm...not sure what you're going for here Kelly, but you're leaving quite an unforgettable impression in just a couple of episodes. What could the new girl possibly do next week?

What did you think of this week's RHOC? Should the 'Wives just forgive Vicki already and move on? Is Kelly setting herself up as a lightning rod or what? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!

RHOD Ssn 1/Ep 9 - Killing Time in Austin

Glenn Rowley

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The Real Housewives of Dallas head to Austin, Texas for their first-ever cast trip, but the weekend getaway takes the darkest turn imaginable when Marie experiences the wrath of LeeAnne over a humiliating betrayal and the women clash over death threats and the definition of the word "kill." Was this the most terrifying vacation in Housewives history? Read on for my full recap of the drama from the lake house turned slaughterhouse...

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Naturally, the prerequisite for any girls trip on Bravo is a good ol' Housewives packing montage. The ladies are headed to the lake house in Austin, Texas that Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman's husbands built together on the shores of Lake Travis. The two besties are anxious to host their cast mates, but the rest of the 'Wives aren't quite sure what to think. LeeAnne Locken and Tiffany Hendra are simply hoping the lake house isn't a dump, while Cary Deuber's husband Mark is making her promise not to start any issues on the trip where they don't exist. Any bets on how long that promise will hold out?

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All the 'Wives arrive bright and early at The Rustic to board the party bus to Austin. Friend of the Housewives Marie Reyes and Cary's friend Courtney Westmoreland Rider, a statuesque, quiet blonde, also scored invites to the weekend getaway. For the first couple of hours, the drive to Austin goes smoothly as the alcohol starts flowing and empanadas get passed around the bus. However, everything starts going downhill when Brandi has to urinate and can't wait until they reach their destination. As Tiffany says, when you've gotta go, you've gotta go, right? Brandi decides that the most logical solution to this conundrum is to pee in a red solo cup in the back of the bus as Cary shields her with a blanket. When LeeAnne finds this disgusting, Brandi and Stephanie joke that peeing in a cup doesn't compare to the story they heard about the queen bee "sh***ing in a bag in the back of a car." (Remember, they got this nasty piece of gossip during Marie's cocktail party way back in Episode 4.) According to the two BFFs, they were told by Taylor Garrett, a reality TV alum from Logo's A:List Dallas, who apparently heard the story from Marie. Oh boy...from the look on LeeAnne's face, this isn't go to go well.

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Arriving at the Hollman/Redmonds' shared lake house, the rest of the women are blown away by how spacious and nice it is - especially when Stephanie and Brandi explain that Travis and Bryan built the house themselves. However, LeeAnne is starting to boil inside about the poop story and confronts Marie about it. Marie denies spilling the secret to anybody - especially Taylor - and even offers to take a polygraph test to prove she's telling the truth. According to LeeAnne, though, only three people were present when the embarrassing story took place 13 years ago: herself, Tiffany and Marie. And she knows it didn't come from Tiffany, so that only leaves Marie as the guilty gossip. However, I can't help but be frustrated that of course the major drama on the cast trip is about poop. Because apparently on RHOD, the women have to reference fecal matter at least once per episode. I honestly can't with the constant poop talk anymore.

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While a private chef cooks dinner for the women, Brandi bonds with Tiffany and LeeAnne over goblets of wine. The former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader thanks Tiffany again for her husband Aaron's song dedication to her veteran brother suffering from PTSD at the charity concert in Episode 7. Opening up that her brother checked back into the hospital the day before, Brandi breaks down in tears and the other 'Wives finally seize an opportunity to be truly vulnerable and bond with her. Just like that, it seems like everyone is finally starting to get along on this girls trip.

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Dinner is served and the Jesus juice starts flowing at maximum capacity. Before we know it, Brandi is three sheets to the wind, drunk as a skunk, wasted out of her mind. Quiet Courtney asks the women whom they would want to have at their perfect dinner party and once the 'Wives debate the merits of feeding either Bono or Mother Teresa, LeeAnne turns the conversation to why she finds it so hard to trust people. Citing her chaotic childhood and being abandoned by her mother, the queen bee explains that she's always had a difficult time letting anyone get close to her - even her BFF Tiffany had to claw tooth and nail to prove she wouldn't abandon her. Cary finds some common ground in this story, piggybacking on to explain that she's surprisingly similar to LeeAnne when it comes to letting people in. Maybe this is why the two have spent the majority of the season butting heads? To lighten the mood, an extremely inebriated Brandi decides to show off her tumbling skills by performing a bikini-clad backwards somersault on the dining room table. Now that is one way to end a Housewives dinner party, y'all.

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By the next morning, everything has taken a shockingly dark turn. Via confessional, several of the 'Wives explain that they were awoken in the middle of the night to the sounds of an enraged LeeAnne arguing with Marie over the poop story. And when they say enraged, they mean screaming-at-the-top-of-her-lungs, roaring-throughout-the-house levels of anger. After stewing about the betrayal all day, LeeAnne finally exploded after cameras went down and the Bravo crew left for the evening - threatening to "slaughter" Marie and "gut [her] carny-style." Meanwhile, the rest of the 'Wives cowered in fear in their rooms, with Brandi and Stephanie apparently sobbing in bed as they clung to each other in pure terror. Thankfully, Cary caught a portion of the terrifying exchange on her phone - in the clip, we hear LeeAnne screaming "s--- like this? You don't want that side of me!" presumably at Marie. Otherwise, the entire frightening ordeal would simply be hearsay without a shred of proof.

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Now, an overwhelmed Marie is cowering in fear at the dining room table as Tiffany tries to convince LeeAnne to approach her and the other women whisper about the previous night's confrontation upstairs. While Marie looks likes she's ready to burst into tears, LeeAnne and Tiffany enter the kitchen to address the tension. Marie refuses to talk to LeeAnne unless the former carny kid is calm, and LeeAnne counters that the only reason she's "agitated" is because she feels so massively betrayed by her friend of nearly 20 years for spreading such a humiliating story about her. Tiffany points out that there's no other way Taylor could've known the anecdote about LeeAnne, yet Marie continues to deny telling the gay gossip anything. Marie is still horrified that LeeAnne threatened her life in during the verbal attack, but a fed up LeeAnne shoots back that what her friend thinks of as "killing" and what she thinks of as "killing" are two different things. The queen bee also argues that when she dramatically said she would "gut" Marie, she merely meant she would cut her out of her life.

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Inevitably, the other women intrude on the conversation, with Cary specifically asking Marie what "kill" means to her when it's directed as a threat. Clearly still afraid, the Friend of the Housewives simply mutters that the word means that LeeAnne was extremely upset. Cary accuses her of dodging the question, but the most she can get out of Marie is an admission that the word was used as a threat to her safety. Stephanie adds that due her previous career as a social worker, she would categorize LeeAnne's attack on Marie as "beyond abusive." Feeling guilty for her verbal outburst, LeeAnne tries to offer a blanket apology to everyone in the room, but none of the other women are letting the threats get swept under the rug. In her confessional, Tiffany defends her bestie, explaining that she can't understand why LeeAnne is being so quickly condemned while Marie gets away with her betrayal by looking like a veritable saint. However, my biggest question is this: if all the other women were so scared for Marie's well-being, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE DO ANYTHING? If you honestly think your friend is in danger, you call 911 or step in and do something, not just hide in bed crying.

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Since there's still an entire day left, the trip must somehow go on in spite of the disturbing drama and the 'Wives attempt to awkwardly move forward with their plans. Pulling LeeAnne aside, Brandi sympathizes with her former nemesis for feeling betrayed and even persuades her not to leave the trip early. Somewhat inexplicably, the ladies divide into two cars (guess who's in which) and head to the Four Seasons for a supposedly relaxing afternoon of spa treatments. While the other girls hit the spa, Marie and LeeAnne stay behind in their room with Tiffany to mediate. Marie remains traumatized by the entire ordeal and breaks down in sobs as she asks why LeeAnne always has to lash out when she's hurting. LeeAnne's still visibly fuming from the discovery that she was betrayed, but as Stephanie, Brandi, Cary and Courtney commiserate over how unhealthy her close friendships seem to be, the queen bee manages to establish a fragile peace with Marie that ends in a tearful hug.

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That night, the women get dressed up and head to Bob's Steak and Chops for a group dinner to celebrate Cary, LeeAnne and Marie's upcoming birthdays. However, by this point LeeAnne has shut down and gone into complete survival mode - barely speaking as she picks her way through a salad. A frustrated Cary calls her out on not wanting to be there and it opens up a whole new can of worms regarding the season-long tensions between the two women over who's judging whom. In an effort to defend her best friend, Tiffany (who's rocking an awesome half-bun topknot), speaks to the fact that LeeAnne is constantly being judged and attacked by the other women for putting herself out there. Stephanie fires back that nearly everyone in the cast has been attacked by LeeAnne by this point, but Tiffany urges the other girls to try putting themselves in LeeAnne's shoes for a minute. Fed up with Tiffany constantly making excuses for her bestie, Brandi accuses both her and Marie of enabling LeeAnne's behavior and storms off to the bathroom. 

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Of course, Stephanie is quick to follow after her BFF, but not before calling Tiffany out for giving LeeAnne positive reinforcement to lash out at people like she did to Marie. Further, Stephanie throws out that if the trio of women are going to simultaneously attack and protect each other, she doesn't need it in her house. With Brandi in tears in the bathroom, LeeAnne gone silent and Cary fed up with the entire mess, dinner ends with an awkward parting of ways as the group of Housewives seems more fractured than ever before. All I want to know, though, is how in the world did everyone get back to Dallas in one piece?

What did you think of this nightmarish girls trip to Austin? Were LeeAnne's threats to Marie unforgivable or does she have the right to feel betrayed? Was Tiffany right or wrong to defend her best friend? Should the other women done more to protect Marie? Leave your thoughts and opinion in the comments section below!