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Real Housewives

Filtering by Tag: sharknado 3

RHOBH Ssn 6/Ep 4 - The M Word

Glenn Rowley


The mini-horses have arrived! After last week's disastrous trip to Ohio, Lisa Vanderpump managed to track down another pony via some friends. So, in true Vanderpump fashion, Lisa had the horse flown all the way to Beverly Hills. Except surprise! Lisa is stunned to discover that her friends have brought two mini-horses: an adult and a baby. Speechless, she says that the horses' arrival is the best thing that's ever happened in her life, and now that there are two she obviously needs both of them. The Vanderpump-Todd household is now a veritable zoo with eight swans, two miniature ponies, seven dogs and one 70-year-old potbellied pig by the name of Ken.


Meanwhile, Erika is lounging around her house in a fluffy pink robe. She calls Tom as she explains in her voiceover that they talk about four or five times a day. However, they never see each other during the workday because he's busy being the world's most famous attorney and she's just as busy being Erika Jayne. Cut to her meeting at Marco Marco, the iconic boutique specializing in all things gay and glittery, for some costume fittings. She first tries on a red and black compression catsuit and lets her hair down, proclaiming "and there's your girl. Eat a dick." Next thing we know, she's 100% naked, squeezing into another black bodysuit like that cat from YouTube who can't fit through the door. It takes some serious guts to appear full-frontal (thankfully blurred out) on camera, especially when it's only your second episode. Talk about a memorable second impression. Ultimately, she decides on the first red catsuit because it's more "snatchy." Yes that means what you think it means. 


Eileen meets Vince for lunch at True Food Kitchen after three days without seeing each other. In her confessional, Eileen explains that the day-to-day dynamic in the Van Patten/Davidson household involves not knowing if they'll even see each other due to work commitments and increasingly busy schedules.. Vinny has just come back from a trip to Del Mar - his first time at the races without his dad. Before their food arrives, Eileen apologizes for an argument they had over the phone earlier that day. Apparently, she snapped at Vince when he spontaneously decided to change plans and go to the beach instead of coming home to take care of Jesse. It's a classic case of sparring gender roles, where Eileen feels that Vince has basically unlimited freedom while she's responsible for keeping everything in the family regimented and together. What Eileen sees as expressing how she feels, Vince takes as an attack. Women are from Venus, men are from Mars. To solve the so-called problem, Vince suggests a possible solution: no talking about anything controversial before 9 a.m. Laughing at the absurdity of the suggestion, Eileen explains in her interview that sometimes it feels like Vince simply doesn't appreciate everything she does for the family. Can't he just take her apology and move on?

Next we get a nice juxtaposition between Lisa Rinna at lunch with her girls and Kyle taking Portia and Sophia to get their ears pierced. The level of drama going on in the Umansky clan while attempting to get new earrings is gut-laugh level hilarious, while Lisa Rinna debates with Amelia and Delilah over letting them stay alone at the family cabin in Canada. Umm, hello girls, remember that time a bear ripped down the cabin door and ate the refrigerator? Still want to stay alone? Over at Villa Rosa, Lisa Vanderpump finally surprises Ken with the pair of horses and he is utterly speechless at these two miniature birthday gifts. Mission accomplished, LVP.


That evening, Erika and Tom join Yolanda and David at their Malibu estate for dinner. As the Girardis arrive, Yo explains in her interview that Erika has been a reliable support system during this last regression in her battle with Lyme disease. The new 'Wife has shown up for Yolanda time and again, and proven that she genuinely cares. For her part, Erika says that she would gladly drive out to Malibu to visit Yo three times a week if it made her happy, but no more than that because the traffic is just too terrible. Over dinner, conversation naturally turns to music, as Erika explains to David and Yo everything she has going on as Erika Jayne, including a show in Chicago the following night and prepping for the release of two new records. Not to be outdone, David reveals that he has an upcoming show in Tuscany with legendary recording artist Andrea Bocelli for his eponymous charity foundation. Oh, and also the Pope is going to be there. At this surprise revelation, Yolanda is struck with a brilliant idea: what if Erika performs with David for Pope Francis? Erika balks at this suggestion. Does Yolanda want her to burn up in flames? No way will she be singing about concubines and party people in front of His Holiness without going straight to hell. If Madonna won't do it, there's no way Erika Jayne will.  


The next day, Kyle takes Portia to an acting lesson at Ovation Performing Arts Center. Apparently the youngest Umansky child is the first to express an interest in following in her mom's footsteps as a child actor. In her confessional, Kyle explains that she and Kim got into the entertainment business by default. When their parents divorced, it was the family's primary source of income. However, if Portia goes down this path, Kyle wants to make sure she always sees it as a fun hobby. Fortunately, growing up as a child actor was nothing but a positive experience for Kyle, but she recognizes that it doesn't always work out that way. Many people have blamed Kim's addiction issues on her past as a child star, but Kyle disagrees, saying that she thinks some people are just predisposed to addiction and others aren't.

Meanwhile, Lisa Rinna's stuck at home while Harry, Delilah and Amelia are vacationing in Canada because she's working on her popular QVC clothing line. She points the success of her fashion line to the fact that she approaches it not as a celebrity, but as someone who genuinely knows what she's talking about. Fashion is truly her passion, and she makes sure to be involved in every part of the design and retail process. The biggest takeaway for viewers? Always be a little nervous about chartreuse!


Also heading to Canada are Yolanda and David, who are taking a 10-day trip to British Columbia. Via confessional, Yolanda explains that her battle with Lyme disease has been "very taxing" on her relationship with David. After all, she was diagnosed basically the minute they got married. She admits that David often gets impatient, but that he's allowed to feel that way since the disease affects him just as much as Yolanda. In many ways, David has lost his partner in crime. This trip to B.C. is a good chance for the couple to reconnect and get back to the core of their love while kayaking and gliding by pods of dolphins on their yacht. Somewhat forebodingly, Yolanda predicts that they will either get through this trial together or they won't. It's certainly an eerie comment in the wake of their divorce announcement.


Back in Beverly Hills, Lisa Vanderpump has invited most of the other 'Wives over to Villa Rosa to see the new mini-horses. Lisa Rinna and Kyle, who admits she's expecting the horses to be unicorns with wings at this point, both arrive while Eileen is running late from work. Almost immediately upon sitting down, Lisa V. asks Kyle about Kim, who apparently trashed the Brit in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. Apparently, the former 'Wife said that Lisa was "phony" while promoting her appearance in Sharknado 3. Lisa V. doesn't understand why Kim would say something like that when she's only ever tried to be supported, however Kyle isn't anxious to discuss her sister with the women. Lisa supposes it's better than being called a "CU Next Tuesday" by Brandi.


Lisa Rinna changes the subject by bringing up Yolanda, whom she learned was on vacation in Canada via Instagram. The news is confusing to the women. Does that mean she's feeling better? After all, the last time Lisa Rinna visited Yo with Eileen, she was so sick in bed that she said she refused to move until she was better. Kyle is quick to point out that maybe getting her fillings taken out made a difference, but Lisa V. admits she doesn't understand the situation at all. Lisa R. just wants to know what the deal is with all of Yolanda's pictures on social media. What's the message she's trying to share with picture after picture of hyperbaric chambers and needs in her arm? What does she need? To make matters worse, people around town have started asking all of the 'Wives about Yolanda's illness and they never know what to say. Lisa Rinna got caught up in one of these conversations and now feels guilty about engaging in the topic, feeling like she didn't have Yolanda's back. Then, Lisa Rinna whips out her phone to deliver a shocking suggestion: could Yolanda have Munchausen syndrome? Lisa R. explains that, according to Wikipedia, Munchausen has been renamed "factitious disorder, wherein those affected feign disease, illness or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy or reassurance to themselves. 


Needless to say, Kyle and Lisa V. are stunned by this allegation. Kyle admits that whatever Yolanda is dealing with, it definitely has a wide, strange variety of symptoms that fall under the ambiguous umbrella of Lyme disease. Lisa Rinna feels like she needs to purge herself for even saying it out loud, but feels the question needs to be asked: is this real? Right on cue, Eileen arrives straight from the Y&R set and immediately senses the tension in the air as the ladies try to change the subject. Eileen presses them on what happened, and Lisa R. recounts the conversation of Yolanda and how guilty she feels for engaging in it with someone behind Yo's back. In her interview, Lisa Rinna blames her actions on merely being human, and Eileen advises her to simply go talk to Yolanda about it when the time is right. Lisa Vanderpump, however, thinks there's no point in saying anything now. The OG rightly points out that there's no upside to getting involved in gossip about Yolanda and senses that this subject will explode if they don't leave it alone. To break up the tension, she brings the 'Wives to the backyard to introduce them to the miniature horses and all three are delighted to chase the ponies around the yard. Lisa Rinna still feels terrible for even bringing the Munchausen subject up, but Kyle tells her to stop beating herself up over it. However, in her interview, Kyle points out that this conversation has now put them all in a bad situation. An allegation like faking an illness isn't something you can just take back, and she for one doesn't want to be around when Yolanda finds out.