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Real Housewives

Filtering by Tag: feud

RHONY S9/Ep 9 Recap - Two Weeks Notice

Glenn Rowley

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The craziness in the Berkshires continues on this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City as Bethenny breaks down to Luann before facing off with Ramona in a no-holds-barred battle royale. And all poor Dorinda wanted was a nice, quiet birthday celebration. In keeping with the tradition of last year's one-act play format, I present this year's trip to the Berkshires in four scenes...

Scene 1 - It'll Only Get Worse, Luann

One by one, the Housewives join Dorinda Medley in her last-minute intervention of Luann de Lesseps (soon-to-be-D'Agostino). As they wander into the conversation, Ramona Singer, Bethenny Frankel and Carole Radziwill each take a turn expressing the piece of gossip they've heard about Lu's fiancé Tom - that he's forcing himself on ex-girlfriends, carrying on full-fledged affairs behind her back and that she's having serious second thoughts about tying the knot. Ramona particularly claims she's simply trying to protect Luann from getting hurt down the road like she did with Mario. After all, if a man begins married life as a serial cheater, the problem is only going to get worse. Up against the barrage, Luann smacks down allegation after allegation, repeatedly insisting that she trusts Tom, is excited to get married and can't wait to spend the rest of her life with the perennial bachelor about town. The wedding is two weeks away and she is untouchable, always circling back to her well-worn excuse that all the other women are just "jealous bitches" of her fairy-tale romance. However, it's telling that the Countess' last word on the matter is how happy she is with the lifestyle Tom has afforded her - the trips to Palm Beach, the penthouse apartment, the security of a man on her arm at all the UES parties. According to Bethenny, that's what this sham of a relationship is about, but if Luann knows what she's getting into and is happy with it, so be it.

Scene 2 - Burning Down the House and Breaking Down the B

While Carole lights a fire (in a non-working fireplace...using Dorinda's wooden door jams) and Tinsley Mortimer vents her frustrations about living with Sonja Morgan, Luann attempts to create a bonding moment with Bethenny over the latter's recently signed divorce papers. The Countess is all Hallmark card slogans and mantras, spouting out fortune cookie sayings about trusting your heart and embracing each chapter of life as it comes. However, the always no-nonsense B isn't having it, and points out that following her heart led her straight into the hellish torture chamber of a situation with her almost-ex-husband Jason Hoppy. Bethenny alludes that what's going on in her personal life is so bad that the ladies couldn't possibly understand. As Carole reveals to the group that it's worse now that it even was when Bethenny was going through her long, nasty, very public divorce, the Skinnygirl has a full-blown emotional meltdown, leaving the room and dissolving into tears.

Luann follows her out to apologize for upsetting her, which leads to a sobbing Bethenny admitting she thinks the Countess is making a huge mistake marrying Tom. B feels confident - in her heart, gut and soul - that Luann's husband-to-be is cheating on her and promises Lu that she doesn't have to go through with the wedding if she's not 100 percent sure. Of course, Luann claims that this emotional display is simply Bethenny projecting her own trust and marital issues onto the situation, but the Skinnygirl has every reason to be wary. As Carole explains to the other women, Bethenny's ex has been constantly harassing her for months - sending threatening emails, voice messages telling her she's a bad mother and, perhaps most creepily, calling her "Bernadette" (which fans know is the name of Bethenny's own estranged, absentee mom). Considering that her ex was arrested last January in the midst of filming for allegedly stalking Bethenny, the hell she's going through is no laughing matter.

Scene 3 - Manic Chocolate Santa Claus

The women convene to the dining room, where Dorinda serves a delicious-looking dinner of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce. Out of nowhere, Ramona becomes astonishingly manic during the meal, practically falling over herself to gush compliments about the food (so moist! so succulent!) and squealing hysterically when she wins a giant chocolate Santa. Dorinda points out that Ramona seems extra jittery this evening and is intensifying every little thing. Without a doubt, the Singer Stinger has been - as Dorinda says - "emotionally heightened" so far this season but there's no way of telling what's really going on with her yet. But it's certainly something cuckoo, even Sonja describes her bestie's behavior at the table as "off the Richter scale crazy."

Of course, Ramona chooses the moment Dorinda's birthday cake is served to sidle up to Bethenny and deliver a boozy, whispered apology over the Skinnygirl's shoulder. Yet again, she's attempting to make amends for bringing up Bethenny's daughter Bryn in relation to the B's scandalous role in the recently unearthed B-movie Hollywood Hills, 90028. Equally unsurprising is the fact that this apology leaves Bethenny entirely unaffected. Instead of engaging, she hilariously sums for Tinsley all the reasons Dorinda is the only Housewife invited to Luann's wedding. Exhibit A: Carole's boyfriend used to be Luann's chef, who also happened to date her niece. I mean, watch Season 7. It would be weird. Exhibit B: Ramona dated Tom before Luann and is on a completely unsubtle mission to find every ounce of dirt possible on the guy. Exhibit C: Tom's diamond-shooting dick has literally been inside Sonja. Exhibit D: Last year in this very dining room, Bethenny unleashed a fury of epic rage on Luann, calling her a slut, a whore and every other nasty name in the book. Caught up, Tins?

Scene 4: Are You Kidding Me, Bethenny?

Frustrated that Bethenny won't accept her countless apologies, Ramona corners her frenemy in the living room to try apologizing one more time. Finally fed up, Bethenny agrees that it's time to put all the cards on the table, starting with the fact that - all things considered over their nearly decade-long history - Ramona has not been a good friend to her. As someone who takes her status as a friend very seriously, this is an unforgivable insult to Ramona, akin to character assassination. Unbridled rage lights up in the Singer Stinger's eyes as she belligerently stammers "are you kidding me, Bethenny?" over and over again. And just when the powder keg between the two OGs is about to ignite, the episode ends with a startling "To Be Continued..." 

What did you think of this week's RHONY? How does this year's trip to the Berkshires compare to last season's? Should Luann listen to the other 'Wives? Are you Team Bethenny or Team Ramona? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

RHOP Ssn 2/Ep 3 Recap - Hold Your Horses

Glenn Rowley

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The women are off to the races this week on The Real Housewives of Potomac as Gizelle confronts Robyn for talking behind her back and seeking for closure in her feud with Charrisse. Plus, Ashley questions Robyn's relationship with Juan while Monique spars with her contentious mother-in-law on a trip to Alabama. Read on for a full recap of this week's drama...

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Newbie Monique Samuels is heading down south for her husband's induction into the Alabama Sports Hall of Fame, and while she packs she's downloading her friend Gigi on all her thoughts about the other 'Wives. Turns out the rookie didn't get a great first impression of Gizelle Bryant, what with the hazing and shade about owning four houses, but she claims to be unbothered by the OG's less-than-friendly introduction. Also, her friends lets slip that she "met" Charrisse Jackson Jordan's estranged husband Eddie before? We'll never know what she may have been trying to insinuate though, since she decided to chug wine rather than spill the tea.

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Meanwhile, word on the street reached Gizelle that Robyn Dixon's loyalty may be in question, so the BFFs meet up for manicures and a heart-to-heart. Gizelle can't decide what baffled her more during last week's high tea: Monique rapping in the middle of the Willard or finding out that Robyn's apparently been discussing her and Charrisse's feud with Karen Huger. Robyn is quick to point out that it wasn't like she ran to the grande dame to gossip or seek advice about being stuck in the middle of the warring 'Wives, but also doubles down on the fact that she strongly disapproved of Gizelle spreading the fireman rumor to get back at Charrisse. Reminding her bestie that she's too classy to stoop to such lows in the future, Robyn gives Gizelle a reality check on her bad behavior and Gizelle graciously accepts it. That right there is the sign of true friendship, folks. (Robyn does claim, however, that this situation with Charrisse has "opened [her] eyes" about her BFF and wonders aloud if Gizelle would ever turn on her...)

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At Robyn's invitation, all the ladies (sans Monique) don their fanciest derby hats for Ida B. Susan Day at the Preakness Stakes, a day at the racetracks for the women of Baltimore's high society. Robyn grew up with the Preakness practically in her backyard, so the event is a reminder of the stark difference between her lavish former lifestyle and current financial woes. Ashley Darby, however, is much more concerned with Robyn's future than her past, and innocently tries to interrogate the PR maven about her situation with Juan over drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Robyn insists nothing has changed with her live-in ex-husband but also questions why her relationship with Juan is anybody else's business - least of all Little Miss Ashley's. Once Gizelle and Karen arrive, Ashley also opens up about her frustrations with the restaurant - specifically that managing Oz is getting in the way of her baby-making plans with Michael. In a surprising show of solidarity, the other women rally around Ashley, asking what they can do to help promote the restaurant and planning a Coyote Ugly night (which conjures up the bizarre image of Karen Huger dancing on a bar).

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Finally, Charrisse is the last to arrive and the tension remains palpably awkward between her and Gizelle. (Never mind that the latter had just finished throwing shade at the former's good friend Monique...) As the women place their bets, Gizelle breaks the ice by playfully asking Charrisse if she's off probation yet. After a moment of consideration, an icy Sha Sha reluctantly agrees to call off their feud, but not before warning her longtime frenemy in the words of Whitney Houston: "Baby girl, you better watch what you say." The good luck between the 'Wives doesn't stop there. By the end of the day, the ladies have won $3000 at the races, yet somehow Gizelle manages to walk away with the ticket all to herself!

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Meanwhile, Monique's celebration down in Alabama over her husband's hall of fame induction turns unexpectedly sour. At a post-ceremony lunch with the entire family, Monique finds herself sparring with her passive-aggressive mother-in-law over money, kids and dueling philosophies on marriage. When Monique mentions they've started looking for a house in Potomac, her mother-in-law shoots out that she should get a job to contribute to the family fortune. Monique states that "wifey ain't gettin' no job," which only seems to aggravate Chris' mother more. Throughout the rest of the meal, she mutters snide asides about her daughter-in-law, combatively points out that she delivered bigger babies than Monique and victoriously proclaims that she "got that heifer straight" by the end of the episode. Yikes. And I thought Shannon Beador had it bad over in Orange County...

What did you think of this week's RHOP? Can Gizelle trust Robyn? Has Charrisse actually forgiven Gizelle? Does Monique have the worst mother-in-law in the Bravoverse? Let me know in the comments below!

RHOP Season 2 Premiere Recap - Don't Let the Zip Code Fool Ya

Glenn Rowley

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Return of the 'Mac! That's right, The Real Housewives of Potomac are back for a second season of shade, pedigree and living by the Potomac playbook. I must admit, I've loved the Potomac ladies from the very beginning so I am beyond thrilled they are finally back on my screen. The drama starts from the drop, with a new feud erupting between Gizelle and Charrisse with Robyn caught in the middle. Read on for a full recap of the drama, dancing and diva moments from the premiere...

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First thing's first: new taglines! I must say I'm more than a little bummed that the intro is the exact same as last year's, just with Katie Rost being swapped out for the new girl. C'mon Bravo, couldn't you have put a little more effort into it? That being said, my vote for best tagline this season goes to newbie Monique Samuels for "I may be rough around the edges, but baby so are diamonds." (Though we don't see it this week since the rookie gets introduced in Episode 2.) The rest of the ladies' taglines are mostly fine, though a bit disappointing overall. Gizelle Bryant's "word on the street" one-liner was utter perfection last year and recycling it nearly word for word this year lessens its impact. I would've appreciated a "grande dame" reference by Karen Huger from way up on that pedestal, and Robyn Dixon seems to be clapping back at the insinuations from last year that she's not black enough. Thankfully, Charrisse Jackson Jordan dropped the condescension from her tagline this year - but is she really comparing her failed marriage to spilled milk? And Ashley Darby's may be my runner-up for best tagline this season. After spending last year desperately trying to fit in with the Potomac divas, the millennial is ready throw the book of etiquette out the window. 

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The premiere opens smack dab in the middle of a cold war between Gizelle and Charrisse. As she reminds her hairdresser Kal, Gizelle didn't take kindly to her frenemy insinuating during last year's reunion that she was a "whore." So, she retaliated by spilling the tea on #WWHL that Charrisse was dating a muscled up fireman despite still technically being married to her estranged husband Eddie. While both women had insulted each other and claimed the other was lying, things took a messy turn when Charrisse slapped Gizelle with a cease-and-desist in an effort to shut her up. However, if there's one thing we know about Gizelle, it's that no one no way tells her what she can and cannot say. No not never.

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Meanwhile, Little Miss Ashley's been recruited as a contestant in a DWTS-esque charity dance competition called Manifest Your Destiny. Unfortunately, her focus on the charity event (which Gizelle happens to be judging) is taking her attention away from Oz, the new Australian restaurant she opened with her husband Michael. At the end of last season, the couple made a deal that they would start trying for a baby once the restaurant broke even but instead, the business has started putting a strain on their relationship. These days, there's less baby-making and much more bickering over changing staff, lack of customers and whether grilled emu should be on the menu. 

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Charrisse has turned over a new leaf for Season 2. At least that's what she keeps insisting in her confessionals. This year, she's leaving her broken marriage behind and moving forward. Her estranged husband Eddie may be the one asking for a divorce these days, but Charrisse is all about being Sha Sha, her fun-loving alter ego that just wants to have a good time. She's even recruited her daughter's former cheer coach to play the part of a poor man's Mikey Minden, sipping champagne and working overtime to spill catty gossip as she holds an impromptu fashion show in her closet. Charrisse isn't one bit apologetic about sending Gizelle the cease-and-desist letter and insists her supposed fireman side piece is a figment of her frenemy's imagination. 

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In other news, Karen and the black Bill Gates are househunting to cope with their empty nest syndrome - they're not downsizing, just "resizing" according to the grande dame - while Robyn and Juan were forced to relocate to faraway Hanover, Md. when their house went into foreclosure over the hiatus. But even being 45 miles away from Potomac can't keep Robyn from feeling caught in the middle of Gizelle and Charrisse's brewing feud. Yes, she may be ride-or-die with Gizelle but she's actually been friends with Charrisse for longer - all the way back to when Eddie was coaching Robyn's ex Juan on the Washington Wizards. So when Gizelle makes the long drive to Hanover to see the new townhouse, Robyn isn't afraid to tell her she thinks Gizelle crossed a line by spreading the fireman rumor on national TV. While Gizelle respects her bestie's opinion, she stands her ground and insists the fireman story is true. In fact, she goes a step further and lets slip that Charrisse told her herself that she cheats on Eddie. And as Gizelle reiterates, if Charrisse is going to call her a whore, she'd better be ready for Gizelle to strike back. 

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All five women finally come together to support Ashley at the Manifest Your Destiny charity event at the Howard Theatre in D.C. Ashley and her partner Teon manage to dance their way into first place, with Gizelle even giving her the highest score possible, but everyone's eyes are on the obvious tension between Gizelle and Charrisse. In an effort to squash their beef, the latter pulls her nemesis into the back alley for a charged confrontation. Charrisse goes in guns blazing, demanding to know where Gizelle gets off making up lies about her, while Gizelle wants an apology for Charrisse calling her a "whore" at the reunion. 

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Naturally, Charrisse refuses to apologize for something she claims she never said, and accuses Gizelle of using the perceived slight as an excuse to justify her spilling the fireman gossip on #WWHL. And besides, Gizelle should consider herself lucky that all Charrisse did was send a cease-and-desist. At some point, Sha Sha takes over and blurts out a "don't let the zip code fool you, baby" reference but just like Gizelle, I'm not quite sure what that even means. But once Charrisse starts calling her "crazy," Gizelle checks out and is officially done with this argument. The dramatic confrontation ends with both women storming away and it would appear this feud is far from a peaceful resolution...

What did you think of the RHOP premiere? Are you Team Charrisse or Team Gizelle? How should Robyn deal with being caught between the two? Whose tagline is your favorite this season? Let me know in the comments below!

RHONY Ssn 8/Ep 15 - All Bets Are Off

Glenn Rowley

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The Real Housewives of New York City gets more real than ever as newbie Jules takes Bethenny and Carole to task for gossiping about her eating disorder, which ignites a new feud just as Bethenny is ready to put her bad blood with Sonja to bed. Plus, after weeks of gushing about how in love she is, Luann finally puts a ring on it! Read on for a full recap of the drama...

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We pick up right where last week left on, which is in the wake of Luann de Lesseps storming out of Dorinda Medley's ill-fated dinner party at Joanne Trattoria. As the Countess makes her angry escape, she runs right into Dorinda Medley and Jules Wainstein coming back from their smoke break. (Quick PSA: don't smoke.) Luann rails that she just can't understand why the other 'Wives can't simply be supportive of her relationship with Tom. If everyone else in her life can be happy she found her new "soulmate," why can't these bitches?? (Her words, not mine.) And with that, Lu is out. The Countess has dropped the mic and officially left the building. 

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Meanwhile, the rest of the women are still sitting around the table debating their frenemy's life. Is she back on her high horse? Can she help herself from pointing out that she's moved into Tom's penthouse? As her costars vent about Luann, frustration starts to build on Jules's face as she starts rushing to the defense of the absent Countess. The newbie points out that it's quite uncool to talk about your friend the second she leaves the table, and this segues into Jules confronting Bethenny Frankel and Carole Radziwill over talking about her behind her back. First, Jules takes Bethenny to task for constantly insinuating that she's stupid. All season long, the rookie hasn't taken kindly to any of Bethenny's jokes at her expense ("I need a verb," anyone?) and she's finally had it. With no bones about it, Jules calls the OG out for her "not nice" behavior, leaving all the 'Wives visibly stunned. No one in the history of RHONY has anyone ever stood up to Bethenny Frankel like this...

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Jules then brings up the fact that she's been very honest and genuine from day one with her new friends about everything in her life - from revealing her eating disorder to talking about her marriage. Therefore, to find out that Bethenny and Carole have been gossiping about her eating disorder was a major betrayal of trust. B counters that she's actively kept a distance from Jules and her eating disorder, considering her estranged mom's own history with the disease, but Jules doesn't let her off the hook one bit. Instead, she gets emotional as she tells Bethenny (and Carole by association) to stop talking about her behind her back, as it discounts all the work and years she's put into her recovery. Furthermore, the other women may be uncomfortable with how skinny she is, but Jules exclaims that she loves her body and hugs her bones every day in gratitude. All of this is the reason why Jules is so open about her eating disorder, to keep her accountable. An eating disorder stays with you for life and every day is a challenge - in fact, Jules admits that she threw up her food just a few days prior. It's a powerful, vulnerable moment for the newbie and I've never loved her more. So many people can be helped, educated and enlightened by Jules choosing to share such a vulnerable story on a platform like the Housewives.

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The next day, Luann meets Ramona for a walk-and-talk to clear the air from their dust-up at the Italian restaurant. With coordinated pops of red and blue against their winter black, the two vets go tit for tat over whether Ramona's really Luann's friend or if she's once again rearing her infamous Singer Stinger. Ramona can't believe Luann would even question her support after everything she's done to broker peace between her fellow OG and Bethenny and Carole. For the millionth time in this episode alone, Luann pulls out the "I'm in love and I'm getting married card," which prompts Ramona to point out that, while she may think she's in love, the relationship is rushing to the altar rather quickly. I mean, Luann and Tom only met a few months ago - after Ramona had dated him and he was still sleeping with Sonja. Icky. Ramona argues that there's no way Lu can really know the man she's supposedly ready to marry in such a short amount of time, but the Countess counters that when she knows, she knows. No matter how they met (did she or didn't she steal Tom away from a date with another woman at The Mark Hotel?) or who they dated in the past, as far as Luann's concerned it's all B.L. For someone who spent the entirety of Season 7 preaching about the girl code, the Countess seems to be eager to forget any code-breaking that may have happened "Before Lu."

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Meanwhile, another gossip session is occurring in the West Village as Dorinda and Bethenny converge at Carole's apartment to rehash the drama with Jules. Bethenny is still speechless over the newbie blowing up at her and isn't quite sure what to think of the entire ordeal. Carole points out that Jules's anger seemed to be directed solely at B, while everything she said about the OG talking about her eating disorder could've been pointed at Radzi as well. Bethenny insists that she's been very delicate around Jules thus far, specifically tip-toeing around the subject of her eating disorder altogether. The OG ventures a guess that the rookie is paranoid because she opened up about her marriage and shared some private information that she's now afraid will become public (i.e. the couple's divorce announcement since filming wrapped). Either way, Dorinda points out that Jules's eating disorder is clearly a touchy subject that everyone - Bethenny and Carole included - should just be a bit more respectful about. However, Bethenny claims that she is officially done with the newbie. It looks like Jules won't be getting any more of the Skinnygirl's time or attention from here on out.

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That evening, Sonja throws a small dinner party at her townhouse on the Upper East Side - inviting only Dorinda, her boyfriend John Mahdessian and the Wainsteins. Never mind that this is the first time Dorinda has let her boyfriend around any of the 'Wives (or Bravo's cameras) in weeks, the big news is that Jules is setting Sonja up on a blind date. As Lady Morgan rolls out the fine china and a borrowed butler from her ex-brother-in-law, it turns out that she already knows the mystery man in question, who's a notorious Italian playboy named Rocco. (By the way, how many Roccos could Sonja possibly know? I mean, c'mon now...) The evening seems to be going well, with Sonja regaling the table with stories of her giant, 200-year-old napkins, but conversation inevitably turns to Jules and Bethenny's showdown at Joanne's. Both Sonja and Dorinda are proud that Jules stood up for herself, but the newbie swears that she'll never again trust Bethenny or Carole with any personal information about her life. 

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It's finally time to go to Mohegan Sun! For the drive to Connecticut, Ramona's organized a party bus filled with enough Skinnygirl alcohol and snacks to hopefully avoid any drama between the ladies. Yet despite Ramona's best intentions, the tension is palpable between Bethenny and Jules as soon as all the women board the bus. However, the most pressing item of business revolves around the one 'Wife who's M.I.A: Luann's officially engaged! Of course, all of the women had to find out in the press, rather than from the Countess's mouth, but they toast to her anyway. Looks like Luann is finally getting everything she wanted - I'm just surprised cameras didn't follow her to Vail to capture the big moment.

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Now that she's fighting with Jules, Bethenny is ready to make up with Sonja after months of silence surrounding their Skinnygirl/Tipsy Girl feud. With some time and distance, Bethenny recognizes that she was perhaps a bit harsh in completely cutting Sonja off, and she finally wants to make at least some sort of amends. The Skinnygirl admits that it's impossible not to love Sonja, and that under all her messy quirks, she's truly a good person. For her part, Sonja is both happy and relieved to finally get an apology from Bethenny, and admits there was wrong on her part as well. The Skinnygirl claims she's seen a positive change in Sonja lately and declares their drama officially over. But does this mean we won't see them argue over this at the reunion??

What did you think of this week's RHONY? Are you Team Jules or Team Bethenny? Can you stand hearing Luann say "B.L." or "soulmate" one more time? Are you happy she's finally engaged? Let me know in the comments!

RHONY Ssn 8/Ep 13 - Steel Calzones

Glenn Rowley

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Everybody's got issues this week on The Real Housewives of New York City. While Jules feels targeted by some of the 'Wives over her eating disorder and Bethenny deals with the reality of her medical crisis, Ramona's efforts to play peacemaker between Luann and Carole don't go exactly as she planned. Read on for a full recap of all the drama...

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It's pizza night for the Big Apple 'Wives as they meet at farmhouse chic eatery Wild in the Meatpacking District. Jules Wainstein is still suffering on account of her vaginal injury, but she's braving the pain to make some pizzas with the girls. As the other ladies arrive, Jules tries to fill them in on her accident, but when she starts stumbling over her words, Bethenny Frankel points out that she "need[s] a verb" for the story to continue." After a quick debriefing on both Jules's and Bethenny's medical issues, the ladies put on their aprons and get busy rolling their dough. While her co-stars are all making regular pizzas, Jules takes her creation up a notch by concocting a calzone - preferably filled with Percocet and Lidocaine to deal with this uptight group of girls. The activity also prompts Carole Radziwill to bring up the newbie's eating disorder, and Jules explains that she never weighs herself, choosing not to focus on the number as part of her ongoing recovery. 

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While Ramona Singer leaves the party early (with one of the restaurant's plates in hand) and Jules and Dorinda Medley go outside for a smoke break, Carole brings up the newbie's "food issues" with Bethenny back at the table. The pair opine that, while Jules presents her eating disorder as something that's in her past, it seems like she's more affected by it in her day-to-day life than she lets on. In fact, the newest 'Wife's subconscious issues with food become readily apparent when the women dig into her calzone to discover she's baked a stainless steel knife, fork and sauce cup inside. As the pizza party wraps up, the subject comes up yet again when Jules reveals she takes Adderall, prompting Carole to remark that she shouldn't be taking the medication because it makes you lose weight. Jules reassures Radzi that she's completely fine in her recovery - she goes to two different therapists twice a week - but for a party that was supposed to be all about fun and food, it's seems all anyone could talk about was the new girl's eating disorder.

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The next day, Carole meets up with a friendly face we haven't seen in a while: former Housewife Heather Thomson! Holla! As the pair go ice skating in Bryant Park with their significant others, I can't help but think about how much I have missed seeing Heather on my screen every Wednesday night this season. After taking off their skates and sending the men away, the two BFFs sit down for a serious catch-up over hot chocolate. Carole explains that the cookbook she's writing with her chef boyfriend Adam Kenworthy, and when Heather mentions that Bethenny's been telling her about Jules off-camera, Radzi brings up the incident from the pizza night. To Carole, it's apparent that Jules has plenty of food rituals and she opines that the newbie might have put the silverware in her calzone as a way to avoid actually eating it. Whatever the reason, it's raised a red flag among the other women and now Carole is worried about Jules and her eating disorder.

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Meanwhile, Dorinda drops by Jules's apartment in the Flatiron District for a visit. The newbie is still bothered by Carole commenting on her "food issues" the night before and reiterates that if anyone has questions about her eating disorder, they can simply ask instead of dancing around the topic. Jules is also insulted by Bethenny's constant jokes at her expense and feels that the OG is trying to make her seem stupid and ditzy. From the newbie's perspective, both veteran 'Wives are being borderline mean-girlish and she's decided to have her guard up around them from now on. Besides, Jules is going through enough in her personal life - what with her dad in the hospital, her nanny suddenly quitting and the injury to her vagina - to have to deal with drama from the other 'Wives. There's an undercurrent of tension in the Wainsteins' marriage, and Jules breaks down in tears to Dorinda as she explains that Michael just isn't stepping up to the plate to help her. It's gotten so bad that Jules admits she was actually relieved to be in the hospital after her accident because she could just take a minute without all the pressure on her. 

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While Dorinda helps Sonja Morgan declutter her basement Hoarders-style, Bethenny goes to a pre-op appointment for her fibroids issue, which are still causing a lot of bleeding. However, the appointment leaves Bethenny in tears as she tries to process the fact that the fibroids are going to require major surgery. With words like "living will" and "medical proxy" being thrown around, B is forced to confront the fact that she doesn't have any family to call in times of crisis. This reality leaves the Skinnygirl feeling more alone than ever as she considers what would happen to her five-year-old daughter Bryn if something were to happen to her. 

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Luann de Lesseps is still living in Lu-Lu Land and decides to throw a cocktail party at Hunt & Fish Club in the Theater District as an excuse to reconnect with the rest of the 'Wives. However, Ramona arrives at the party on a mission. Pulling Luann aside for a private chat, the Singer Stinger remarks that the Countess seems to be on the outs with both Bethenny and Carole. Luann points out that neither of her frenemies even bothered to RSVP for the cocktail party and declares that she's past the point of caring about either of them. Ramona tries to play peacemaker though, and simply wants Luann to make up with Carole once and for all. After sending an apologetic text in the Berkshires about calling Radzi a pedophile and extending an olive branch at her holiday party, Ramona points out that Luann seems to have stopped making any effort in a rather mixed metaphor about sports. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Ramona Singer?

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Ramona encourages Lu to reach out to Carole for some one-on-one time, whether it's a phone call or meeting up for coffee. However, the Countess announces that she's done apologizing for last season's drama and she "[doesn't] care what Carole RadziVILL thinks. Period." It appears the ship has sailed for Luann and Carole to ever really be friends again. Besides, the Countess is in love and doesn't have time for any more drama that will squash her bubble of love. In her annoyance, Luann suggests the ladies take a trip to Palm Beach to replace the cancelled vacation to Mexico, and it looks like neither Carole nor Bethenny are going to make the guest list for this one...

What did you think of this week's RHONY? Are Carole and Bethenny crossing the line about Jules's food issues? Were you happy to see Heather make a cameo? Do you love Ramona trying to play peacemaker as much as I do? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!

RHOD Ssn 1/Ep 11 - Reunion

Glenn Rowley

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After just 10 short weeks of Southern twang, a disgusting amount of poop jokes and an endless cycle of charity events, it's time for the Season 1 Reunion of The Real Housewives of Dallas! In a surprisingly singular installment, the Southern 'Wives sit down with Andy Cohen to rehash the debut seasons many fights, feuds and personal moments. (Seriously though, I can't believe that Bravo only got enough footage out of the entire day for just one reunion part. It's disappointing.) Read on for my full breakdown of the drama, including an overanalyzing of the seat arrangement and my choice for best dressed on the couches...

On the Couches

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Ok, first thing's first. The all-important reunion seating arrangement. This one was pretty straightforward and easy to call, though I did swap two 'Wives in my prediction. (I'm always close but no cigar...) From the very first episode I pegged LeeAnne Locken and Brandi Redmond as the Housewives who would get the coveted center seats next to Andy Cohen. On the right couch, we have Brandi, Cary Deuber and Stephanie Hollman on the end. (For the record, I mixed up Cary and Stephanie in my guess, thinking that Bravo would keep the two besties together). On the left couch, LeeAnne is seated next to BFF Tiffany Hendra, which...duh. The battle lines between the two cliques were so clearly drawn during the season that any other formation would've been pretty much unthinkable. I'm also going to throw out there that I wouldn't have minded seeing Cary in the hot seat next to Andy one bit, especially considering how her feud with LeeAnne dominated the second half of the season, but I'd be hard-pressed to believe that Bravo would have ever moved Brandi from the hot seat. 

Ranking the Housewives' Looks

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The reunion dress code seems to be solid cocktail dresses with cutouts and all the 'Wives adhere to the theme with just one exception. My pick for best dressed goes to Tiffany, who stuns in a marigold Split Midi dress from Topshop. The yellow frock makes a memorable impression on me for the color alone - I mean, has any Housewife ever rocked MARIGOLD in the history of reunions? I didn't think so. It feels fitting that LeeAnne is in red, though I'm pleasantly surprised at just how refined the burgundy Chiara Boni dress is on her. The elegant three-quarter sleeves and artistic cutout push the look over the edge to me in terms of sophistication and I'm loving it. Cary also chose a Chiara Boni dress for the reunion, hers in a vibrant royal blue. It does look cohesive with LeeAnne's dress, but I have to confess that after a season full of gutsy looks, I'm a little disappointed that Cary didn't go for something just a little edgier. I'm obsessed with her jewel-encrusted Roberto Cavalli heels though! Stephanie looks like a Barbie doll come to life in her bright pink Rolland Mouret dress, but the pairing it with the chunky turquoise jewelry is a miss for me. And then there's Brandi, who clearly missed the solid colored memo by choosing a sparkly gold Herve Leger number. It's my least favorite look of the bunch, trying to be both sexy and frilly at the same time, and is it just me or does the dress look rather ill-fitting on Brandi? Maybe it's the bell-shaped bottom half but either way I am not at all a fan. 

Facing Criticism

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Andy starts things off with a round robin of questions about a number of issues the women were criticized for during the season. Among these complaints were the following:

  • LeeAnne's bright pink blush, which she chose to tone down for once.
  • Stephanie's to-do lists from her husband. Thankfully, she's not getting them since the show has been airing and Travis realized how offensive the habit was to every actual housewife in America.
  • The show's preoccupation with poop jokes, thanks to Brandi and Stephanie's juvenile senses of humor. Both chalk it up to a combination of immaturity and the Hollmans having small boys, but I speak for every fan of the show when I say it needs to stop next year. No one thought it was amusing. Just...disgusting. Not funny. Too much. Also, I just feel the need to point out that I came from a family of all boys too, and we never joked about poop - much less constantly. My mother would've killed us.
  • Apparently Brandi's girls were kicked out of their exclusive private Christian school for their mom's behavior on the show. (Or as she explains it, they "chose to no longer partner with [the Redmonds] for their children's education.] I guess incessantly calling wine "Jesus juice" didn't sit to well with the Christian school, which felt Brandi was making a mockery of the holy sacrament. Oops.
  • Reports in the media that Tiffany worked as a porn star before joining the show. According to Tiff, she had a multi-film contract with Cinemax for a number of racy projects, but none of it could be considered "porn." Just think lots of boobs (by Deubs?)

Carny Kid or Charity Maven?

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In the first package of the day, Andy turns the spotlight on queen bee LeeAnne, whose childhood on the carnival circuit constantly bumped up against her image at the center of the Dallas charity world. When pressed by Andy, Stephanie admits that she was referring to LeeAnne when she said the charity scene had some "egomaniacs" in it when the 'Wives attended Mad Hatter's, and most of the women are quick to agree that LeeAnne's sole passion in life seems to be charity work. However, more than the egomaniac comment, LeeAnne takes issue with Cary's claim that you have to be born into society to be a true Dallas socialite. Not even considering the fact that the American Dream is kind of built on the idea that you can work your way up the ladder and build your own success without a family legacy, in LeeAnne's book anyone can become a power player in society through hard work and making connections, and she's living proof. What happens next is an inexplicable name-dropping contest of all the most elite families in Dallas society. Ok ladies, I know you haven't done this before, but newsflash: we don't know who any of these people are. No one cares which socialite's wedding you were in. Move it along.

The Affair Heard 'Round Dallas

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Next, Cary's husband Mark joins Andy and the ladies to discuss the rumors that plagued the Deubers throughout filming about how their marriage started. In a dandy orange tie with matching socks and pocket square, the good doctor comes in guns blazing, with his sites set particularly on LeeAnne. He accuses the queen bee of spreading false stories that Cary stole him from his second wife and perpetuating the rumor that their marriage began as an affair. However, LeeAnne claims she was simply repeating what she "knew to be true" about the couple and doesn't see it as spreading gossip. Mark shoots back that with over a million people watching the show, LeeAnne's chatter has made all of America think he and Cary had an affair and insists it's simply a slanderous lie.

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At this point, LeeAnne lays the entire story that she heard out on the table: that Mark and Cary started having an affair when she worked for him but broke it off when he insisted on staying married. Then, seeing Cary marry another man (her second husband, for just a few months) eventually pushed Mark over the edge to leave his second wife for her. Cary is utterly floored, having never heard this complicated and rather messy version of the rumor, and gets so riled up that she walks off the set in tears. Andy has commented before that reunion walkoffs are SO 2009, and I agree, but I'm too distracted by the hilarity of Cary's crying faces to really take in the drama of the much-overused move. Methinks Cary might have had a little too much Botox injected before the reunion, because her face is forced to contort into impossible-looking shapes to make up for the fact that she can't move her forehead. 

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Once Mark has talked Cary off the ledge and she's sufficiently calmed down, she returns to the couch with Andy eager to wrap the topic up in a bow. LeeAnne finally apologizes upon seeing Cary so upset and the two actually make peace with a hug. However, the moment isn't all sunshine and roses when LeeAnne makes an off-hand remark warning Stephanie not to call her an egomaniac or narcissist because of the gesture, and Steph throws back that LeeAnne can't help but be insulting even in the nicest of moments.

The Rocky Marriage of Brandi and Bryan Redmond

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Next in the hot seat is Brandi, whom Andy questions about the marriage troubles she endured throughout filming with her husband Bryan. Brandi claims that she didn't even realize how disconnected they were as a couple until production started on the show and chalks Bryan walking out on their date night as she cried at the table to him not wanting to argue in front of the cameras. However, what angered her husband the most was Brandi's cringe-inducing wild night out at the strip club with Stephanie and Cary. (The Redmonds have an agreement that neither will go to such establishments, which Brandi clearly broke.) The couple's relationship hit an all-time low, however, when the episode actually aired and Bryan saw Brandi wasted and giving the male stripper a veritable lap dance. In the fight that followed, Brandi tearfully recounts that Bryan said he wanted a divorce and that the lapse in judgement took a long time for the couple to get over. Now, though, things are apparently better than ever. Brandi and Bryan are communicating well and establishing respective their needs in the relationship, and even renewed their vows on their wedding anniversary! Too bad Bravo's cameras weren't there to catch that moment...

The Many, Many Feuds of LeeAnne Locken

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At this point, Friend of the Housewives Marie Reyes joins the ladies, wearing a lovely, one-shouldered Chanel dress in navy with an oversized ruffle on the single shoulder, and the tension on the couches is palpable. Immediately, Tiffany calls Marie a "f---ing a--hole" under her breath, requests to sit on the opposite couch and ends up sliding as close as she possibly can over to LeeAnne in order to keep away from her nemesis. However, Andy's main concern is to begin addressing the many conflicts LeeAnne found herself in over the course of the season - with literally every single one of her fellow Housewives. As the package rolls, we see clips from her confrontation with Brandi in the very first episode, the infamous "bow at me" lunch with Cary and Stephanie, her screaming/shoving match with Tiffany after throwing a drink at a cocktail party and her sit-down with Marie upon discovering her scathing betrayal of texts to Tiffany. 

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In discussing the "bow at me" lunch, LeeAnne asserts that she wasn't trying to get Cary and Stephanie to stop being friends with Brandi, just to consider how their reputations were being affected in the wake of the poop scandal at Mad Hatter's. Stephanie shoots back that it sure felt like she was trying to take down Brandi and opines that rather than shine the light on herself, LeeAnne spent the majority of filming trying to discredit each of the other 'Wives. Moving on to the shoving showdown between BFFs at the cocktail party, Tiffany claims she was like a stewing volcano that simply erupted in the moment after spending the better part of a year defending LeeAnne to everyone in Dallas. However, Stephanie stands by her comment that Tiffany and Marie both seem to merely act as LeeAnne puppets and lapdogs - the former being the mouth that says whatever LeeAnne wants and the latter being the a--hole for taking so much constant abuse. 

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Which brings us to Marie's first betrayal - her string of text messages criticizing and psychoanalyzing LeeAnne to the queen bee's other best friend, Tiffany. Tiff maintains that the texts went on for about a year before she finally told LeeAnne about them and accuses Marie of purposely leaving out the message where Tiffany asked her "with respect" to stop texting her and go to LeeAnne instead. Marie defends herself by saying that she was merely worried for LeeAnne as a friend, while still managing to throw in a dig that she apparently wasn't eating or bathing at the time. Yikes. Either way, LeeAnne feels Tiffany did the right thing by showing her the text messages and there's clearly no love lost between her and her former bestie. 

Keep Austin Crazy: Poop Stories & Death Threats

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Finally, it's time to discuss the darkest moment of the season - the ill-fated girls trip to Austin, Texas that resulted in oversharing of a poop story (of course) and LeeAnne threatening to "kill" Marie in a terrifying altercation in the middle of the night. Marie reveals that once the ladies got back from Austin, she actually filed a police report and restraining order against LeeAnne after being threatened again over text. LeeAnne completely owns that she lost all control to her raging temper that night, but continues to point out that she was acting out of absolute humiliation upon finding out Marie had once again betrayed her. (Mind you, Marie still insists that she never repeated the story about LeeAnne pooping her pants, but the kid who told Brandi and Stephanie couldn't have exactly made it up out of the blue...) There doesn't seem to be much hope for a future reconciliation between LeeAnne and Marie, and we may never get to the bottom of who really spilled the poop story that resulted in a girls trip death threat... 

Final Thoughts

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Wrapping up the reunion, Andy points out that quite a bit has changed in the lives of each of the 'Wives since filming wrapped last summer, and asks them to share how they've grown. Stephanie found her voice by standing up to Travis and her marriage is apparently better than ever. Tiffany is all about self-improvement and is just happy that she gets to lay her head next to Aaron Hendra's ripped abs and gorgeous head of hair every night. Cary realized through the show that some people may view her relationship with Mark as weird or different, but still doesn't care what the critics have to say. LeeAnne's in anger management and continues trying to work through her traumatic past. As for Brandi, the former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader views the show as a gift, in ultimately helping her marriage, introducing her to her grandfather and documenting such a difficult year of her life. And with that, the very first - but hopefully not last - reunion in Dallas officially comes to a close.

What did you think of the RHOD reunion? Do you wish it was more than one part? Are you Team LeeAnne, Team Tiffany or Team Marie? How do you feel about where the 'Wives left off? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!