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Real Housewives

Filtering by Tag: dubrow chateau

RHOC Ssn 11/Ep 3 - Lies in the Air, Sand in My Hair

Glenn Rowley

vicki-gunvalson-rhoc

This week, The Real Housewives of Orange County gather for a beach party thrown by newbie Kelly, where Vicki and Tamra attempt to hash out last season's drama once and for all. Can the OG truly make amends with her one-time soulmate and sister? Plus, Meghan starts IVF and Heather finds the world's fanciest kind of ice. Read on for my full recap of the drama...

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We begin this week's episode in Oklahoma of all places, or as Vicki Gunvalson referred to it in Season 9, "the forgotten state." Her daughter Briana is finally moving back to the OC, so Vicki's flown out to help her road trip back with grandsons Troy and Owen. (Briana's husband Ryan is still employed by the Marine Corps, so he's staying behind temporarily to put the house on the market and move everything.) The reasons for Briana's return to Orange County are twofold: first for better medical care with her team of doctors in California and second because Vicki bought the young family a new house. Always the level-headed voice of wisdom on the show, Briana has struggled with her health for years - battling a cancer scare in Season 7, having lymph nodes and her thyroid removed and now healing from an infection in her leg as the result of a surgical complication. She's on strict doctor's orders not to fly, which means she and Vicki are in for a 23-hour road trip from Oklahoma to Orange County with two toddlers and a car full of luggage. Still recovering from surgery, the long drive is no walk in the park for poor Briana, who spends much of the excruciating trip in pain. Thank goodness the OG of the OC was there to help lighten the mood and play grandma to the boys.

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Back in the OC, Meghan King Edmonds is officially begin her IVF treatments. Since her husband Jimmy is off in Florida for MLB spring training, Meghan's creating a video diary to document her first round of shots for him. (Though I suspect it's really just a clever way to get the footage for viewers rather than for Jimmy.) Apparently, IVF involves a series of shots that have to be injected every day to help the ovaries grow, which doesn't exactly gel well with Meghan's deathly fear of needles. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror with a syringe in hand, it takes the mom-to-be roughly 11 minutes of psyching herself up before she's able to give herself the shot. It's a small, personal victory that brings Meghan to tears, but it's also the first of many to come, so she might as well get used to overcoming this particular phobia. 

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That night, Heather Dubrow, Shannon Beador and Tamra Judge meet newbie Kelly Dodd for dinner at Casa Ranchero. The meal is a chance for the veteran 'Wives to get to know Kelly a bit better, especially considering that the initial impressions she made at Heather's yacht party and Meghan's kitchen demolition have been a mixed bag at best. However, Tamra almost immediately puts the newbie on the spot by forcing her to tell Heather she had lunch with Vicki. Oh boy. This is not the best way to get on the rest of the 'Wives' good side Kelly. Once again, the other ladies air their grievances about the OG, trying to give the rookie some context about why they feel the way they do, but to no avail. Really though, Kelly would be better off staying out of last season's fray, no matter how much she sees herself in Vicki. In other news, Heather also informs the women about the upcoming party to celebrate the launch of her and Terry's book, but Kelly interrupts to invite them all to a beach party at her house. So the beach party comes first, I guess...

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While Vicki is playing supergrandma for Briana - who's been admitted to the hospital - Tamra's training for her fitness competition at CUT Fitness with Mia, her personal trainer/unofficial priest/spiritual mentor. Tamra explains that with so much chaos going on in her life, the fitness competition gives her something she can actually be relatively in control of. She's still concerned about the relationship drama between her son Ryan and his fiancé Sarah, but Mia reminds her to pray and give it all up to God because remember Tammy Sue's still a Christian now. (Side note - am I the only one who just can't help but wonder what Alexis Bellino thinks of it every time Tamra brings up Jesus on the show?)

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Meanwhile, Heather's still busy singlehandedly overseeing the construction of the Dubrow Chateau. The house still isn't finished, but she's finally getting to shop for the fun things, like $7,300 pizza ovens for the backyard and a 54-inch grill that her chef can use - Terry doesn't flip burgers. Most importantly, Heather's making the final decisions on which shapes of ice each refrigerator and ice machine will produce throughout the house and settles on fancy hexagonal ice for the subzero freezer. Who knew there were so many options for ice? I mean, hexagonal ice is apparently jewelry for your glass!

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It's beach party time! All the ladies descend on the beach that basically serves as Kelly's backyard for an evening of food, fun and a little bit of volleyball. As the hostess, Kelly has thought of every single detail and I must say, the party looks gorgeous and relaxing. Heather's sporting a "Brunettes vs. Blondes" t-shirt while Shannon arrives in full beast mode, ready to crush the competition in any game the gang is going to play. But of course, all eyes are on Vicki as she waltzes into the party, the last to arrive. Heather's the first to make conversation with the OG, asking her for an update on Briana's health now that she's been released from the hospital, but Shannon avoids Vicki like the plague - adamant that she has nothing to say to her former buddy.

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As the golden hour approaches, Vicki and Tamra find themselves alone and sit down for a much-needed heart-to-heart. Vicki opens up to her longtime BFF that she's still trying to heal and move on from the "sh--storm" that was last year, but admits that she misses having the other 'Wives in her life. Tamra bluntly counters that she still doesn't believe there was any possible way Vicki couldn't have known Brooks was faking cancer. Yet, Vicki continues to maintain that she was innocent in the cancer scandal and Brooks pulled the wool over her eyes just like he lied to the rest of the world. Tamra points out that she thinks Vicki lied because she wanted everyone to like Brooks and feel bad for him - specifically citing the OG's admission at the Season 10 reunion that she fabricated the story about Terry Dubrow and the IV. However, Vicki still claims she was simply blinded by love and this conversation is turning into a never-ending hamster wheel. Please, can we just get off yet?

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Tamra presses Vicki to just be honest, and questions why - out of all the other 'Wives - she would ever choose Brooks over her best friend. There's way too much blame shifting going on, but eventually an overwhelmed Vicki starts breaking down in tears and admits that Tamra is right. She meekly, tearfully asks whether Tamra can forgive her, and making the decision as a good Christian, Tamra says she can. The episode ends with Tamra encouraging Vicki to continue trying to make amends with her friends no matter how hard it may be. And with that, we're slapped with a "To Be Continued" and will have to wait until next week to find out what happens next...

What did you think of this week's RHOC? Should Tamra forgive Vicki? Is Kelly wrong for getting involved in last season's drama or is she just trying to integrate herself into the group? Do I need hexagonal ice in my fridge now? Let me know in the comments!

RHOC Season 11 Premiere - When the Ship Hits the Fan

Glenn Rowley

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The first ladies of Bravo are back! That's right, The Real Housewives of Orange County has cleared the 10-year mark and is starting Season 11. Veteran 'Wives Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge, Heather Dubrow and Shannon Beador are back, along with Meghan King Edmonds and new girl Kelly Dodd. 

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As the familiar notes of the theme music, start I'm already jumping for joy because we have a new intro! Hooray! After using a recycled version of the Season 9 opening last year, I'm super happy to see that the ladies in new looks for the revamped intro. Immediately my vote for best tagline goes to Shannon for "Karma's a bitch, so I don't have to be one!" Not only does it cheekily reference the holistic Housewife's love of all things Eastern and mystical, but it made me laugh out loud too. Quick thoughts on the others: Tamra's is amusing and seamlessly blends her path to Christianity last season with her upcoming storyline as an aspiring bodybuilder. Heather revealed on her podcast that Bravo came up with her line, but I thought it cleverly poked fun at her Fancy Pants persona...and also happens to be kind of true. Meghan's sticking with another baseball analogy for her second season and the reference to "choosing her team wisely" must have to do with either her alliances with the other 'Wives or the in vitro journey we'll be seeing this year. Newbie Kelly promises to be a barrel of fun, so expectations are sufficiently high. And OG Vicki takes solid aim at her frenemies with "Before you judge me, you better be perfect." As a whole, I have to say that the new bunch of taglines are among the series' strongest and it's a promising way to start of the season. 

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Now onto the episode! We start by catching up with Tamra, who is apparently training for an amateur fitness competition. Following her baptism last season, she's still on the straight and narrow path back to Jesus, but she's determined to get to the pearly gates looking her very best - menopause be damned! As Tamra climbs a rope and I see that her arms are now bigger than mine, it hits me that Tamra as a bodybuilder kind of scares me a little. And also that I need to recommit to the gym regularly. In other news, Meghan and her husband Jimmy have moved into a new home, started a candle business (random?) and Meghan's prepping to start IVF treatments in order to get pregnant. Heather's still overseeing the construction of the palatial Dubrow Chateau while Terry's working more than ever thanks to filming Botched, plus its new spinoff Botched By Nature, on top of his surgical practice. And Shannon and David seem to be doing better than ever, having put his infidelity from Season 9 in the rearview mirror to focus on selling their house and downsizing. 

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And then there's Vicki, who was left friendless following last season's fake cancer debacle involving her shady boyfriend Brooks Ayers. Thankfully, the most controversial couple in the OC has (FINALLY) broken up and Brooks moved out, seemingly for good this time. Which hopefully means that this season won't be dominated by his drama the way that last year got hijacked. (Seriously, if I never hear the words "fake cancer" again, I'll be perfectly happy.) However, despite breaking things off with Brooks and living on her own, Vicki still remains estranged from the rest of the group. One by one, the other 'Wives explain in their confessionals that all they're looking for is some form of accountability from Vicki that she was in on the cancer scam and a sincere apology to start moving on, (minus Shannon who doesn't want anything to do with her), but the OG continues to maintain that she had nothing to do with Brooks's lies. And if she had to do it all over again, she claims that she would still stand by her man.

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Due to Jimmy's new job as a coach for the Arizona Cardinals, Meghan's left to go to her doctor's appointments for IVF without him. Thankfully her mom is able to come to the OC to go to the appointments in her husband's place. With this IVF storyline, Meghan's hoping to break the stigma that remains surrounding both IVF and infertility in general for the millions of women watching, and today she's undergoing a hysteroscopy. However, because of her uniquely c-shaped uterus, the procedure turns out to be incredibly painful for Meghan and she spends the majority of it screaming in tears of pain. This on top of her deathly phobia of needles and it appears this IVF appointment isn't exactly a walk in the park for the 31-year-old mother-to-be.

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In an effort to get all the 'Wives together, Heather's throwing the first party of the season and meets Tamra at a local nursery to run the idea past her while shopping for citrus trees. Having just gone through a secret wake-up call regarding Terry's health, Fancy Pants is putting together a little dinner cruise on a yacht in the spirit of love and friendship. However, when it comes to the guest list, Heather's conflicted about whether or not to invite Vicki. None of the other women have seen the OG for months, but Heather's feeling these days like everyone deserves a second chance - Vicki included. Tamra points out that Shannon will be upset if their former friend shows up at the party, but at the end of the day it's Fancy Pants's party and she can invite who she wants. 

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Next we finally meet newbie Kelly, who goes out to dinner with Meghan at OC eatery The Quiet Woman. Apparently, Meghan has known the newest 'Wife for about a year and can bond with her over IVF since Kelly used in vitro to conceive her daughter, Jolie. (For the record, I asked Kelly on Twitter, and she named her daughter after the french word for "beautiful," not Angelina.) From the get-go, Kelly's personality seems to scream "in your face FUN" with a capital F, as she boasts about being voted homecoming queen in high school and making varsity cheer as a junior. So when Meghan invites her to come along to Heather's yacht party the following weekend to meet the girls, Kelly's all in for a good time.

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While Heather calls Vicki to extend the olive branch invitation, Shannon and Tamra are at the doctor's office getting a new cosmetic treatment called Ultherapy. Rocking a gorgeous gold top in her confessional, Shannon admits that it would've been unthinkable two years ago for her to say that Tamra is one of her better friends but hey, when someone fakes cancer real miracles can happen. Shannon also reiterates that she has no interest in renewing a friendship with her once-close former friend Vicki. She's capable of forgiving for last year's medical records nightmare, but that doesn't mean they'll ever go back to being Aries buddies like they were during Shannon's first season on the show. And forgiving certainly doesn't mean Shannon will be excited to see Vicki at Heather's yacht party either.

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After seeing a glimpse into Kelly's unconventional home life (which involves living in a four-story beach house with her husband, daughter, mother and brother), it's time to hit the marina for Heather's party. Boarding a yacht called the Icon, the Dubrows' guests - including the other 'Wives and their significant others - are treated to a gorgeous spread of food and, of course, champs. When Meghan introduces Kelly to Tamra and Shannon, the rookie makes quite an impression with her "MC Hammered" sense of humor. Tamra's amused when Kelly tries to stuff her boob in the veteran 'Wife's mouth upon meeting. Shannon, not so much. 

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Tension creeps in when Vicki makes her grand entrance with former OG Housewife Jeana Keough in tow, but there's no time to dwell on the negativity because the yacht sets sail and it's time for dinner! Once everyone is seated, Heather stands to make a heartfelt toast, revealing that Terry recently underwent a health scare involving a stress EKG that could've resulted in his needing a heart bypass surgery. Thankfully, the test turned out to be a false positive, but it made the Dubrows really sit back and reevaluate what - and who - was really important in their lives. Everyone is surprised by this news and visibly moved, and I have to confess that seeing Heather tear up in her confessional as she talked about how much Terry means to her made me get a little emotional as well. With the toast having made its intended impact, Vicki gets up from the table and asks Heather to come to the lower deck of the yacht for a private chat. 

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Once the two 'Wives are alone, Vicki starts off by thanking Heather for even inviting her to the party in the first place. Then, she jumps headfirst into the real issue, admitting that she handled everything that went on last year the wrong way and was simply trying to maintain a toxic relationship that was slipping through her fingers. Still insisting she wasn't in on any cancer scam, the OG asks for Heather's forgiveness and hopes to move forward with a fresh start and clean slate. Now, this is exactly what Heather had been talking about earlier in the episode - that everyone deserves a second chance - but before she can reply, the screen cuts to black and the premiere is over! We'll have to wait until next week to see what Heather has to say about Vicki's mea culpa moment. 

What did you think of the RHOC premiere? Can you believe we're watching Season 11? Was your first impression of Kelly good or bad? Is there any way Vicki can get back into the other 'Wives good graces? Leave your thoughts and reactions below in the comments!

RHOC Ssn 10/Ep 21 - Reunion Part 2

Glenn Rowley

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The first ladies of Bravo are back for a second hour of discussing Season 10. The second part of the OC reunion starts with a montage of some of the most OMG-worthy moments of the season - circle jerks, leeches and colonic mishaps included. Does Vicki really know what a circle jerk is? (The answer is still no.) Andy has more than a few questions about how Shannon managed to get a colonic stuck up her behind, but I'd rather not dwell on that visual. Moving on...

Who Wears the Fancy Pants?

Next, we're treated to a package chronicling Heather's season trying to be all things for her family. When you take a step back and look at everything Fancy Pants managed to accomplish this year, it's pretty amazing. Over the course of 19 episodes, she launched both Collette, her sparkling wine and her skincare line with Terry, Consult Beaute, hosted a trip to Napa Valley and managed to stay largely out of the fray when it came to the other women's drama - all while building a house so large it can probably be seen from space. The question of whether all the money the Dubrows are making is worth Terry being an "absentee" dad gets asked, and Heather succinctly defends her family dynamic. Fancy Pants recognizes that Botched won't be on the air for 30 years, so while it's going, Terry is happy and fulfilled and she's willing to work a little harder to make sure they have time together as a family. She also tells Andy that she doesn't know what the current budget of the Dubrow Chateau is (or she just doesn't want to say), but she's willing to sell him the two frozen embryos she and Terry have. That child would be a match made in Bravo heaven. 

Foul Ball, Jim Edmonds

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Seating on the couches is rearranged as Meghan's husband Jimmy joins the ladies. In all of Andy's years as a diehard Cardinals fan, he never thought he would see the day when the all-star was at a reunion. Jimmy is promptly put in the hot seat over his marriage and how he treated Meghan throughout the season. As scenes play back of the athlete being condescending, short and downright rude to his wife, Meghan insists that she doesn't actually let Jimmy get away with treating her unkindly. Whether or not you believe that, Jimmy tries to defend his behavior by pointing out that during filming he was flying constantly between St. Louis and the OC. His excuse for bad behavior is that every time he was in California, cameras were in his face, he didn't want to be involved in any drama and he wasn't ready for a reality TV show to capture everything about his life. He got advice from some of the 'Wives following the rough season that needs to be remembered by everyone who embarks on the journey reality TV: they can't edit what you don't say. At the end of the day, he can't take back the rude things he said, though I find it strange that apparently people in St. Louis think his "banter" with Meghan is funny and charming. Ultimately the rookie Househusband recognizes that he should've been nicer to his wife throughout the season. Any bets on seeing a new and improved, camera-ready Jim Edmonds next season?

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Jimmy denies ever telling Brooks that two out of the four months he'd been married to Meghan were challenging, and before she can get attacked, the OG pipes up to claim she misspoke when she repeated that tidbit of gossip at the sex party. Apparently, what Brooks actually said was that the Edmonds had had "a couple" of instances that were difficult and Vicki latched onto the number "two" from what Brooks told her. So two arguments became two hard months. Tell-a-Vicki, telephone? The OG explains that she was speaking out of anger when she lobbied the accusation at Meghan and Jimmy and that she no longer believes they'll be divorced within five years.

An Off-Camera Betrayal

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With the spotlight now on Vicki, Heather brings up another comment she made at the sex party in light of Tamra's revelation regarding her custody battle. We didn't see the moment in the episode, but at one point during the party Tammy Sue jokingly put a strap-on over her lace outfit. Watching from the bar, Vicki commented to Heather something to the effect of "no wonder she's losing custody of her kids." Ouch. Heather was rightfully horrified by the comment, and couldn't believe Vicki would say something so rude about her best friend after all these years. In an uncharacteristically heated moment, Heather gets rather fired up in her defense of Tamra, saying Vicki's comment made her sick and that she couldn't believe what she was hearing. All Vicki can do at this point is apologize, but good for Heather for once again demonstrating the meaning of real girl code.

Saving the Beadors' Marriage

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Next, the affair that rocked Shannon and David's marriage gets brought up again. (On a side note, that transitional cutaway was weirdly jarring. I don't remember anything similar being done at another reunion before.) Much about this topic was beaten to death during the season and covered during the couple's WWHL one-on-one with Andy, so there isn't a ton of new information here. Heather reveals an interesting tidbit, though, about what was really going on behind-the-scenes last year after her infamous lunch with Tamra. At the lunch, the Beadors' marriage obviously got brought up and rumors had been swirling around Orange County. Because of mutual friends, Heather suspected she knew who the mistress was. After filming with Tamra, she met a group of girls at the restaurant where the cheating rumors were brought up. Unbeknownst to Heather, one of the girls texted the mistress under the table, not knowing she was the woman destroying Shannon's marriage. Once the other woman found out, she called David, who texted Shannon who was in the middle of filming with Tamra. At that moment, Heather knew she was right about the identity of the mistress. What a twisted web the OC is.

Some viewers questioned whether Shannon was brave or selfish for broadcasting her marital troubles on national TV but she stands by her decision, saying that it would've come out either way since all of the OC knew about it. Plus. she says, sending the message to her kids that fighting for family is important made the entire thing worth it no matter how humiliating or difficult it may have been. There are no more secrets in the Beador family and they're happier than they've ever been. Andy asks if she's seen the mistress since, and Shannon says that she has seen her in public, but hasn't reacted or confronted her. (This was before the epic smackdown between the two at last week's USC football game.) Andy jokingly announces to bring the mistress out, and the room erupts into nervous laughter while Shannon turns red. Sometimes, he just can't help himself.

Briana and Girth Brooks

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After another weird transition (seriously, they're bothering me. Why not just go to commercial?), Briana joins the reunion to discuss everyone's favorite person: Brooks Ayers. Brooks has officially moved out of Vicki's house following the break-up, which the OG blames on the couple having "too many issues" to last as life partners. According to Vicki, her priorities are back squarely on Briana - where they arguably should've been for the last four years anyway. Briana says that Brooks had a nasty habit of doing terrible things while Vicki was across the room, leaving her torn over whether to even tell her mom and cause a problem. Case in point - Brooks apparently hit on a very-pregnant Briana at Vicki's birthday party. Eww. When she told Vicki what happened, the OG called her a liar and said Brooks would never want her. Can you believe this?? He told Briana he wanted to show her his penis, which he's nicknamed Girth Brooks. This is absolutely vile and disgusting. 

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Brooks isn't at the reunion for the first time since Season 7, but Andy had a chance to interview him in a one-on-one in the WWHL Clubhouse. Long story short, he doesn't blame the show for his breakup with Vicki - just the other 'Wives and Briana. When asked whether he considers Briana the show's voice of reason (which at this point is basically an undeniable fact), Brooks claims Briana is lying about him. When Andy asks what her motivation could possibly be to lie, Brooks lobbies accusations at Briana of hearsay, manipulation and taking advantage of Vicki. According to Brooks, Briana is guilty of the very things she's accusing him of - using Vicki and relying on her financially. A shocked Briana boldly points out that she hasn't taken a dime from her mom in years. After all, she's an ER nurse making six figures a year. Briana also points to the last conversation she ever had with her grandma before her sudden passing. The day before she died, Briana spent two and a half hours on the phone with Vicki's mom and much of the conversation revolved around how much she didn't trust Brooks. Contrary to what Vicki claimed in Tahiti, her mom wasn't a fan of her boyfriend. In fact, she was worried he was going to take Vicki's money and she couldn't stand looking at him. What would Briana have to gain by lying about that? Nothing, says Vicki, as Part 2 ends with Briana's final word on the man who consumed her mom for the last four years: scumbag. 

RHOC Ssn 10/Ep 12 - Racing to the Truth

Glenn Rowley

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Well that escalated quickly. Just one episode after the cancer storyline reared its possibly fake head, the claws are officially out between Vicki and Meghan over the issue. However, there's plenty we need to cover before we get to that explosive confrontation, so here we go. The episode starts with Tamra visiting Vicki's house with Ryan, Sarah and baby Ava in tow, since the OG has offered her backyard for their impending wedding. However, the real reason for the visit is to talk about Brooks' birthday dinner with the Beadors and Tamra cuts right to the chase. Vicki gives the the lowdown on what happened with Shannon, including that she still doesn't know exactly what Meghan said about Brooks. Tamra fills her in on the conversation after she left CUT Fitness and what exactly the psychic said earlier that day. According to Vicki's rationale, the psychic not seeing the cancer could mean that hallelujah, Brooks is cured! She rather ominously forewarns that Meghan is messing with the wrong person, and for the newbie to believe what the psychic said just goes to show how ignorant, naive and young she is. If she was getting out of it before, Vicki's most definitely not going to NASCAR now. Meghan can kiss her a**.

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The rest of the ladies and their husbands, however, head out to the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana the next day for the NASCAR day that Meghan organized. The couples arrive in pairs, with the Edmonds and Dubrows at the track first to take a tour, meet some drivers (including an unsmiling Danica Patrick) and take a lap around the track in a pace car going a cool 125 mph. After being suitably freaked out by being inches from an impending, high-speed death, the foursome retire to their reserved suite for some cocktails and champs. Once they've settled down with their drinks, Meghan relays that she received an angry text from Vicki about her involvement in the cancer conversation. My favorite moment of this exchange had to be Meghan disbelievingly telling Heather that Vicki thought she was insinuating that Brooks doesn't have cancer and Fancy Pants' point blank reply of "well, you were." Heather admits to being confused why Brooks isn't meeting with Shannon's doctor, who seems to have the most resources, but also just can't see someone faking cancer. Though if he is, that's a gigantic dose of bad karma. Fancy Pants also points out in her confessional that the OG of the OC is a bad person to get on the wrong side of, and Meghan might not recognize the trouble she's gotten herself into. 

Heather and Terry excuse themselves to head back to the OC as Tamra, Eddie, Shannon and David arrive and head down to the pit road to watch the race. Everything about NASCAR seems incredibly loud and fast-paced, and the husbands in particular were loving the whole thing. Once the group is back up in the suite, Shannon brings up her side of the fiasco at Brooks' birthday dinner, explaining that she didn't exactly say anything but was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Meghan presses her for more information because she doesn't understand how Vicki knew what she'd said if Shannon didn't pass it along, and Tamra cops to being the one to tell Vicki the whole story. Finally, everything about this massive game of telephone is out in the open. Meghan reiterates that she doesn't know why the blame is all being put on her when she merely repeated what the psychic said, and it's a valid point. Somehow the rest of the ladies have escaped Vicki's brewing wrath unscathed. Additionally, the newbie can't comprehend why Vicki would be so upset at her when she's going through a cancer-related issue with LeAnn herself. LeAnn can't do chemotherapy anymore because it was causing her to bleed internally, so to see Brooks simply choosing to stop the treatment when he still has options "blows [Meghan's] mind." But by now she knows that Vicki's going to be gunning for her when the ladies all get together at Heather's luncheon later in the week.

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Next, we have a number of individual scenes. First, Tamra visits a realty office to get back into selling houses. She also reveals during the meeting that she's helped buy Ryan and Sarah a house in Orange County without consulting with Eddie. I don't know about you, but paying a $7933 deposit for your son's house seems like a pretty big welcome home gift to give without your husband's knowledge. Across town, Shannon and David are helping their girls paint together in the craft room. Shannon explains in her interview that, after everything the kids have been through, she feels it's important they see the effort she and David are putting into creating a more peaceful home environment. However, poor Stella is still holding a grudge over the TP'ing apology letter as well as her mom's lack of comparative praise over her painting. I never noticed it before but is Stella Beador the newer, older Milania of the OC? She has kept me cracking up two weeks in a row now.

Vicki and Brooks, meanwhile, are celebrating her birthday sans the other ladies by renting a boat for a dinner cruise. Despite his cancer, Brooks managed to plan the entire evening and Vicki loves having everything be about her for a minute. She's refusing to give the fake cancer rumor any life by talking about it, but inevitably references it by telling Brooks she would take a bullet for him and promising to defend him forever. She also manages to tell the waiter all about her mom's passing and nearly face plants on the deck because of her shoes. Noted: walking on a boat in heels is not a good idea. The next day, Tamra takes Meghan to look at a new listing in Coto de Caza, where it becomes readily apparent that Miss 30-Year-Old doesn't know who Heather Locklear, Richie Sambora or Tommy Lee are. She claims during the tour not to be nervous to see Vicki at Heather's luncheon - she feels confident in what she's said and done and is ready to own it. Talk about being Tamra's mini-me.

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In the third birthday in two weeks, the Beadors take the kids out to celebrate Shannon's 51st. In her interview, she explains that her 50th birthday the year before turned out to be terrible. Apparently, David was "intimate" with her that night (love that word, and by love I mean hate) and then left later to be with his mistress. Ouch. Even with everything we've seen about the affair, I'm not sure why that tidbit of information needed to be shared on camera. Needless to say, Shannon has expectations for this birthday to make up for last years, and David is striking out at every turn. First she doesn't like the sports bar he chose because it's not appropriate for the kids, then the spareribs have too much fat on them, then the kids start noticing the tension. By the time the birthday cake comes out, Shannon has reached a painfully awkward level of silence, crying in her confessional that she can't believe she was stupid enough to believe David would give her a good birthday. Two steps forward, one step back for the Beadors. Yikes.

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Finally, the day arrives for Heather's luncheon. None of the other 'Wives had seen the house since last season's groundbreaking hoedown, Fancy Pants thought it would be a good excuse for a get-together now that construction is about halfway done. Can I just point out that the OC ladies really seem to love a party in an unfinished space...One by one, the ladies arrive in either white or bright colors - Vicki is rocking an electric pink caped dress - and I'm incredibly happy to see Lizzie for the first time in a couple of episodes. First, Heather gives the women and her other friends a tour of the gigantic construction site. Chateau Dubrow is the most grandiose, over-the-top house I've possibly ever seen, complete with a beauty salon, 14 bathrooms, a luggage room and a dumbwaiter that takes your groceries straight from the garage up to the pantry. It also features an 18-seat movie theater, a butler's kitchen, towel-warming drawers in the bathrooms and four kinds of lit-up ice throughout the house. I just have no words. 

lizzie-shocked

Naturally, the tour leads to an exquisitely-decorated table where Heather's hosting her luncheon. At first, everything is lovely, as Heather sends a glass clink train around the table in the name of friendship and Tamra tells the women about Ryan's new house. However, she still hasn't mentioned it to Eddie, which the ladies point out she probably needs to do sooner rather than later. But for now, he's still on a strictly need-to-know basis. Also during the lunch, Meghan thanks Shannon for her help with LeAnn's cancer treatment. Apparently, Shannon made some calls at City of Hope to get LeAnn into her doctor. With the somewhat rocky history between Shannon and Meghan, the gesture is a pure, kind-hearted thing to do that demonstrates Shannon's big heart. 

vicki-furious

For some reason, Meghan then feels the need to turn her attention towards Vicki and bring up what she said at CUT about Brooks. Immediately, Vicki goes on the attack by threatening to take Meghan down if she ever questions whether Brooks has cancer again. Vicki's blood is boiling so much that she's shaking as she tries to address Meghan, saying she can't even look at her. Meghan's attempts at an explanation fall on deaf ears as Vicki doesn't want to hear about LeAnn or City of Hope or anything the newbie pot-stirrer has to say. When Meghan starts questioning why Brooks didn't use Shannon's doctor and why Vicki hasn't gone to more of his appointments, Vicki starts to rage, calling Meghan a little girl who needs to go away and get a "big-girl job" because she hasn't experienced life like the rest of the women. When Meghan once again tries to talk about LeAnn, Vicki shuts in down by harshly pointing out that it's her husband's ex-wife. This then sends the newbie into tears, who accuses the OG of trying to diminish her pain when LeAnn is dying. Meghan also brings up that she's done some research since the booty class on resvertrol and there's no medical evidence that it will do anything to cure cancer. This prompts the best line of the night in Shannon's interview: "who does she think she is? Woodward and Bernstein meets Florence Nightingale?" Eventually, Vicki just starts screaming things like "YOU'RE not getting involved in it!" and "Shame on you!" But when Meghan won't stop, the OG finally tells her to shut up, saying she "[doesn't] even want to go there." Immediately turning off the tears, Meghan then pops off, "you're just an old woman who's bitter and angry at the world, so you shut up." Vicki has a fire in her eyes to go for the jugular, and the rest of the ladies have been stunned into silence around the table. The episode ends with an ominous "To Be Continued..." I have the feeling that next week, things are only bound to get worse.