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Real Housewives

RHOC Ssn 11/Ep 7 - Something's Fishy

Glenn Rowley

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The Real Housewives of Orange County descends into madness this week as a celebratory party for Meghan becomes a screaming match between Kelly, Heather and Tamra. Lines are crossed, vulgarities are spewed and one 'Wife takes a stand against the new girl on the block. Read on for my complete recap of all the insanely unpredictable drama... 

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We start the episode with Tamra Judge, who's invited Kelly Dodd over to help put together origami party favors for the upcoming sushi party. Tamra's put the whole event together to celebrate Meghan King Edmonds' impending pregnancy, since she won't be able to drink alcohol or eat sushi until after the baby's been born. Kelly, however, is much more interested in rehashing her issues with Shannon Beador, which have escalated immensely since their blowout fight at the 70s party two episodes ago. The newbie has bluntly concluded that Shannon "isn't [her] kind of girl," but Tamra cautions her not to judge so quickly. Yes, Shannon's had issues over the years with virtually every other woman in the group, but Tamra promises that if she'll just give it time, Kelly will see what a good person the holistic Housewife is. The rookie isn't interested though, and wants to stay as far away from Shannon as possible the next time all the ladies are together.

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Once Kelly leaves, Tamra calls Meghan to go over the party's guest list. However, the IVF treatments must be making the younger 'Wife more hormonal than usual because she throws a tantrum the second Tamra mentions that all the girls will be there - including Vicki Gunvalson. Despite sharing what she called a "moment" with Vicki at the 70's party, Meghan flat-out does not want the OG "shoved down [her] throat" the day before she gets pregnant. This declaration leaves Tamra baffled, since the mom-to-be had told her to invite Vicki to the party literally the day before. So which is it?? When Tamra suggests that she'll just disinvite Vicki, Meghan takes her fit even further by pouting that they might as well just cancel the whole thing. She'd rather stay home and sleep anyway. With the patience of a good Christian, Tamra chalks this outburst up to Meghan's wonky hormones and promises to take care of the entire thing, but the party's still happening whether Meghan wants it or not.

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Meanwhile, Heather Dubrow is busy continuing to build her empire. Taking a break from overseeing the construction of the Dubrow Chateau, Heather's doing an appearance on daytime talk show The Doctors fresh off her trip to Washington D.CIn her confessional, Fancy Pants explains that she's finally figured out the work/life balance that allows her to have it all: she's writing a book with Terry, hosting TV gigs like Botched Post Op, building the new house and doing her PodcastOne podcast, Heather Dubrow's World, all while being the wife and mother that holds the Dubrow family together. Now if only she can get Terry to achieve the same balance and appreciate his responsibilities as a dad more...

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Back from D.C. as well, Meghan pays a visit to Shannon's sports medicine doctor at Pacifica Wellness for help with alleviating her discomfort associated with IVF. However, when Tamra and Shannon crash the appointment, conversation naturally turns to the guest list for the fast-approaching sushi party. Since their phone call, Meghan's softened to the idea of Vicki coming to the party - which comes as a relief to Tamra as the hostess but is downright baffling to Shannon. The holistic Housewife pointedly calls out her friends for gradually loosening up on the hardline stance they'd adopted as a group towards the OG. Rumors circled in the media following Season 10 that the other 'Wives had banded together and were refusing to film with Vicki, and while that's obviously not true it's clear the women had multiple conversations about not letting Vicki back into their lives. But from Shannon's perspective, it seems the OG is slowly but surely slithering her way back into all of their lives. Shannon may have been the last one standing in Vicki's corner last season, but it looks like she might be the last one refusing to give in this year.

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That evening, Vicki goes to Kelly's expansive beach house for dinner. While Vicki promptly gets stuck in the house's elevator, Kelly's ready to vent about her issues with Shannon from the 70's party. The more she's stewed over the "set-up," the angrier she's gotten and now Kelly's translated Nina's comment to mean that she's a prostitute. (Seems like quite a specific, though slightly understandable, interpretation of "I don't have to suck d--k to pay my bills.") In fact, the newbie informs Vicki that she even shot an angry text off to Shannon, warning her that she's planning to sue Nina for slander and defamation of character. After reading the text message, Shannon promptly calls Tamra to inform her of this new litigious development and accuses the veteran 'Wife of sitting on the fence by not going to bat harder for Team Shannon. A storm of drama certainly seems to be brewing, even if everyone's supposedly "made up" in the wake of the vicious 70's party fiasco.

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Just in time for Meghan's big sushi party! The mom-to-be has begrudgingly allowed Tamra to invite Vicki to the party, and the OG comes bearing an olive branch in the form of a baby gift. Vicki explains via confessional that all she wants with Meghan is polite peace - she's not looking to be "friends, friends, friends" any time soon. Once the rest of the ladies arrive, Shannon's seated as far away from Kelly as possible, but the tension is immediately palpable between the two. Inadvertently, Meghan manages to kickstart the drama by asking Kelly how her lunch with Shannon went in last week's episode. At first, Kelly says she's fine with the veteran 'Wife (she just hates her friends), but quickly unravels when Shannon overhears the conversation. 

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Before anyone can count to ten, Kelly's face is red as a blotchy tomato and she's spewing profanities and calling Shannon the "c-word." From the newbie's perspective, she's simply defending herself from the slanderous accusations of Jaci and Nina, but she's gone completely off the rails and attacking Shannon isn't doing anything except make her look mentally unhinged. Tamra attempts to mediate, pointing out to Kelly that if what Jaci and Nina were saying is false, she should just let it go. After all, is it really affecting her life? At this, Kelly blows up even further, screaming that Tamra is a "dumb f--k," and now the rookie's managed to either offend or shock basically everyone at the table. (To the credit of her newfound Christianity, Tamra manages to keep herself from jumping across the table and ripping Kelly's throat out. Maybe she really has found Jesus?)

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Heather, however, is completely repulsed by this outburst of Kelly's and has had enough. Rising from the table, Fancy Pants puts her foot down, proclaiming that Kelly's behavior is nothing more than "LOW. BASE. BULLS--T!" and orders the rookie to leave the party if she's going to continue acting so psychotically. Kelly is taken aback by this demand and curtly refuses, pointing out that Heather's not the hostess and doesn't have the right to dictate the guest list. Well, if the person screaming vulgarities and calling her friends names won't leave, then Heather is out. Taking a stand, she storms out of the party while Kelly attempts a half-hearted apology to Shannon and Tamra for her vicious name-calling. (Accroding to Kelly, that's all it should take to make up for the chaos she created ten minutes prior.) Tamra urges for everyone to have compassion for the clearly disturbed newbie, but Shannon is setting a clear boundary. After being attacked by her new co-star three times in less than a week, she's seeing evil in Kelly's eyes and vows to steer clear from now on.

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In the limo on the way home, an overwhelmed Heather breaks down in a flood of tears. Calling Terry, she fills him in on the whole blow-out fight and claims through sobs that she's never been around someone so vicious and vulgar before in her life. She doesn't want to be associated with this new 'Wife who's elbowed her way into the group in any way. Meanwhile, back at the cleared-out sushi party, Kelly's back to "normal," sipping champagne and making fun of Heather to Tamra and Vicki. Apparently in addition to being a loose cannon, she's also a comedian! Can you blame Heather and Shannon for not wanting anything to do with this volatile newcomer?

What did you think of this week's RHOC? Were you shocked by the sushi party screaming match? Are you Team Heather or Team Kelly? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below...