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Real Housewives

RHONY Ssn 8/Ep 13 - Steel Calzones

Glenn Rowley

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Everybody's got issues this week on The Real Housewives of New York City. While Jules feels targeted by some of the 'Wives over her eating disorder and Bethenny deals with the reality of her medical crisis, Ramona's efforts to play peacemaker between Luann and Carole don't go exactly as she planned. Read on for a full recap of all the drama...

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It's pizza night for the Big Apple 'Wives as they meet at farmhouse chic eatery Wild in the Meatpacking District. Jules Wainstein is still suffering on account of her vaginal injury, but she's braving the pain to make some pizzas with the girls. As the other ladies arrive, Jules tries to fill them in on her accident, but when she starts stumbling over her words, Bethenny Frankel points out that she "need[s] a verb" for the story to continue." After a quick debriefing on both Jules's and Bethenny's medical issues, the ladies put on their aprons and get busy rolling their dough. While her co-stars are all making regular pizzas, Jules takes her creation up a notch by concocting a calzone - preferably filled with Percocet and Lidocaine to deal with this uptight group of girls. The activity also prompts Carole Radziwill to bring up the newbie's eating disorder, and Jules explains that she never weighs herself, choosing not to focus on the number as part of her ongoing recovery. 

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While Ramona Singer leaves the party early (with one of the restaurant's plates in hand) and Jules and Dorinda Medley go outside for a smoke break, Carole brings up the newbie's "food issues" with Bethenny back at the table. The pair opine that, while Jules presents her eating disorder as something that's in her past, it seems like she's more affected by it in her day-to-day life than she lets on. In fact, the newest 'Wife's subconscious issues with food become readily apparent when the women dig into her calzone to discover she's baked a stainless steel knife, fork and sauce cup inside. As the pizza party wraps up, the subject comes up yet again when Jules reveals she takes Adderall, prompting Carole to remark that she shouldn't be taking the medication because it makes you lose weight. Jules reassures Radzi that she's completely fine in her recovery - she goes to two different therapists twice a week - but for a party that was supposed to be all about fun and food, it's seems all anyone could talk about was the new girl's eating disorder.

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The next day, Carole meets up with a friendly face we haven't seen in a while: former Housewife Heather Thomson! Holla! As the pair go ice skating in Bryant Park with their significant others, I can't help but think about how much I have missed seeing Heather on my screen every Wednesday night this season. After taking off their skates and sending the men away, the two BFFs sit down for a serious catch-up over hot chocolate. Carole explains that the cookbook she's writing with her chef boyfriend Adam Kenworthy, and when Heather mentions that Bethenny's been telling her about Jules off-camera, Radzi brings up the incident from the pizza night. To Carole, it's apparent that Jules has plenty of food rituals and she opines that the newbie might have put the silverware in her calzone as a way to avoid actually eating it. Whatever the reason, it's raised a red flag among the other women and now Carole is worried about Jules and her eating disorder.

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Meanwhile, Dorinda drops by Jules's apartment in the Flatiron District for a visit. The newbie is still bothered by Carole commenting on her "food issues" the night before and reiterates that if anyone has questions about her eating disorder, they can simply ask instead of dancing around the topic. Jules is also insulted by Bethenny's constant jokes at her expense and feels that the OG is trying to make her seem stupid and ditzy. From the newbie's perspective, both veteran 'Wives are being borderline mean-girlish and she's decided to have her guard up around them from now on. Besides, Jules is going through enough in her personal life - what with her dad in the hospital, her nanny suddenly quitting and the injury to her vagina - to have to deal with drama from the other 'Wives. There's an undercurrent of tension in the Wainsteins' marriage, and Jules breaks down in tears to Dorinda as she explains that Michael just isn't stepping up to the plate to help her. It's gotten so bad that Jules admits she was actually relieved to be in the hospital after her accident because she could just take a minute without all the pressure on her. 

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While Dorinda helps Sonja Morgan declutter her basement Hoarders-style, Bethenny goes to a pre-op appointment for her fibroids issue, which are still causing a lot of bleeding. However, the appointment leaves Bethenny in tears as she tries to process the fact that the fibroids are going to require major surgery. With words like "living will" and "medical proxy" being thrown around, B is forced to confront the fact that she doesn't have any family to call in times of crisis. This reality leaves the Skinnygirl feeling more alone than ever as she considers what would happen to her five-year-old daughter Bryn if something were to happen to her. 

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Luann de Lesseps is still living in Lu-Lu Land and decides to throw a cocktail party at Hunt & Fish Club in the Theater District as an excuse to reconnect with the rest of the 'Wives. However, Ramona arrives at the party on a mission. Pulling Luann aside for a private chat, the Singer Stinger remarks that the Countess seems to be on the outs with both Bethenny and Carole. Luann points out that neither of her frenemies even bothered to RSVP for the cocktail party and declares that she's past the point of caring about either of them. Ramona tries to play peacemaker though, and simply wants Luann to make up with Carole once and for all. After sending an apologetic text in the Berkshires about calling Radzi a pedophile and extending an olive branch at her holiday party, Ramona points out that Luann seems to have stopped making any effort in a rather mixed metaphor about sports. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Ramona Singer?

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Ramona encourages Lu to reach out to Carole for some one-on-one time, whether it's a phone call or meeting up for coffee. However, the Countess announces that she's done apologizing for last season's drama and she "[doesn't] care what Carole RadziVILL thinks. Period." It appears the ship has sailed for Luann and Carole to ever really be friends again. Besides, the Countess is in love and doesn't have time for any more drama that will squash her bubble of love. In her annoyance, Luann suggests the ladies take a trip to Palm Beach to replace the cancelled vacation to Mexico, and it looks like neither Carole nor Bethenny are going to make the guest list for this one...

What did you think of this week's RHONY? Are Carole and Bethenny crossing the line about Jules's food issues? Were you happy to see Heather make a cameo? Do you love Ramona trying to play peacemaker as much as I do? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!