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Real Housewives

RHOD Ssn 1/Ep 7 - Black and Blues

Glenn Rowley

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This week, The Real Housewives of Dallas was filled with music, rock star hair and one very awkward goth party. While Tiffany's out to make a name for herself in the Dallas charity scene, Cary finds herself in the crosshairs of a major power player in society with ties to LeeAnne. Read on for my breakdown of all the gothic drama...

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The episode kicks off with LeeAnne Locken and Tiffany Hendra meeting Heidi Effin' Dillon, the undisputed queen of the Dallas charity world, for lunch at Toulouse. The blonde arrives draped in Moschino with a giant dollar sign necklace (a la Flavor Flav circa 2006) and immediately proceeds to gift the two 'Wives shirts with #SkanksofDallas emblazoned on them. Talk about a strong first impression. LeeAnne set up the meeting to introduce Tiffany to her charity mentor and let her bestie pick Heidi's brain for ideas about the upcoming charity concert she's planning. Ms. Effin' Dillon also happens to be putting together a dinner party at her house - the theme of which is gothic state fair. She invites LeeAnne and Tiffany, and the two suggest the rest of the 'Wives be added to the guest list. Heidi's anxious to meet some more of the up-and-coming women of Dallas, but she's wary of Cary Deuber. According to gossip around Dallas, plenty of society women locked down their husbands by getting on their knees under the desk and Heidi claims she's head that Cary fits in that category. The shade is real, honey.

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Speaking of Cary, she's busy performing back-to-back surgeries with Mark. After updating the practice's website with the new pictures from her photoshoot last week, the Deubers are busier than ever. So busy, in fact, that Cary doesn't even realize it's their sixth anniversary until the couple is elbow-deep in surgery. The Housewife's personal theory when it comes to commemorating these milestones is something along the line of "we got married already, let's move on." However, Mark manages to squeeze out a sweet kiss with her while their face masks are on in the OR.

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Meanwhile, Brandi Redmond's received more troubling news on the family front. Her younger brother, Michael, recently returned from serving in the military in Afghanistan. Coming home with a severe case of PTSD, Michael had been struggling with depression and has been checked into the hospital after attempting to commit suicide via overdose. Brandi is obviously heartbroken by this news and runs straight to BFF Stephanie Hollman's house in shock. Brandi opens up to her bestie about how helpless she feels, unable to do anything for her brother while her mom rushes to the hospital. It's telling and more than a little concerning that the redhead turns to Stephanie for support instead of her husband, but her fellow 'Wife offers some of the best advice I've ever heard by telling Brandi that she doesn't need to understand someone's pain to support and love them through it. Preach, Steph!

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Next, Tiffany and LeeAnne go shopping for something to wear to the upcoming charity concert. As they search for the best looks that scream "rock and roll," Tiffany brings up the fact that the concert will be the first time all five 'Wives will be in the same room since Marie Reyes's disastrous cocktail party. Filling LeeAnne in on everything that Brandi's going through with her family, Tiffany counsels her bestie to take it easy at the event and make things as copacetic as possible with the rest of the women. LeeAnne admits that she feels she needs to apologize to Stephanie for making her cry at the cocktail party and vows to make things right before the charity concert. 

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After a scene of the Deubers properly celebrating their anniversary by Mark gifting Cary with a new Roberto Cavalli dress, Brandi meets Bryan for lunch in an attempt to put their argument from last week behind them. (You remember, the one where he walked of the restaurant when she tried to talk about their issues?) This time, Bryan comes to the meal contrite and apologetic about how he treated Brandi during their date. However, even when Bryan is trying to apologize and admitting he doesn't actually give Brandi enough attention, he still seems incredibly uncomfortable in front of the camera. Both Brandi and her husband agree that they need to do a better job connecting with each other and want to move forward in their relationship in a more positive, healthy direction.

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Stephanie is shocked to get LeeAnne's invitation for lunch, but warily agrees to sit down with the queen bee and hear her out. After apologizing for her behavior at the cocktail party, LeeAnne proceeds to do most of the talking and opens up a bit about how her rough childhood on the carnival circuit affected the way she handles conflict. She then offers her costar an olive branch in the form of an invitation to come see her speak at the opening session of the upcoming Grace Conference to benefit women living with HIV. At the table, Stephanie kindly agrees that the two can move on from their blow-up, but her confessional tells a different story. In her interview, Stephanie calls LeeAnne the "most self-obsessed, narcissistic person [she's] ever met" and claims the apology is more for LeeAnne than it is for her. Hmm...it doesn't look like these two will be truly making up any time soon.

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After a glorious segment in which Aaron Hendra's perfect hair gets the moment in the spotlight it so clearly deserves, the day of Tiffany's charity concert arrives. The 'Wives all converge on the House of Blues in Dallas in their best rocker chic, but Tiff clearly takes the cake with her enormous faux-hawk. The night turns out to be one full of positivity as Aaron makes a great first impression with his music on the people of Dallas and the Hendras raise a bunch of money to bring solar lamps to East Africa. In the concert's most touching moment, Aaron dedicates a song to Brandi's brother in the hospital, reminding him over the mic that his life has more worth than he can imagine. Naturally, both Brandi dissolve into tears and by the end of the night I'm a bit baffled to realize that we just made it through an whole charity event on RHOD with minimal drama. 

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The following weekend, Heidi Dillon throws her gothic state fair party and all of the 'Wives dawn their best and blackest goth attire for the evening - I'm obsessed with the chain overlay on LeeAnne's outfit and Brandi kills it with her dead rose girl look. However, the party is almost immediately filled with the most awkward of tension as Cary arrives to a chilly welcome from both the hostess and LeeAnne. As the women snicker and throw side eye over Cary's reputation as an apparent home wrecker, she opts instead to spend her time talking to Heidi's adorable labradoodle named Ralph. (Cary, if you're reading this, you are ALL of us at a party!) However, Cary also manages to offend Heidi by turning her nose up at the homemade Frito chili pie that's being served as the party's meal. 

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Feeling slightly, Heidi and her goth makeup attempt to embarrass Cary in front of the other guests by asking her to "demonstrate" a blowjob on a corn dog. What? Cary declines by joking that she only demonstrates on the real thing and Mark doesn't happen to be at the party, and it becomes increasingly clear that some major underlying tensions exist between the 'Wife and the blonde grande dame of Dallas. Then, it comes to light: LeeAnne explains in her confessional that Heidi is still good friend's with Mark Deuber's ex-wife, which would explain why she's branded Cary as a homewrecking pariah who doesn't belong in Dallas society. When you're friends with the ex-wife, you'll never give the new 'Wife a chance (that is, unless your name is Heather Dubrow...) Once an uncomfortable silence descends on the group of women, Cary decides to make a quick exit, regretting that she showed up to the party at all...

What did you think of this week's episode of RHOD? Was LeeAnne's apology to Stephanie sincere? Are you Team Cary or Team Heidi when it comes to the gothic party mess? And do you think Aaron's hair is as perfect as I do? Leave your thoughts and opinions below in the comments!