Things are beginning to get tipsy on The Real Housewives of New York City! While drama once again boils over between some of the 'Wives at an ill-fated psychic reading, another celebrates her birthday with a surprising announcement that may put her in the crosshairs of a business empire. #businessbyBravo, right? Read on for my complete break down of this week's episode...
Over on the Upper East Side, Sonja Morgan starts her morning with a typical facial made out of human stem cell from the infamously gossipy Satoko Yamazaki. The facialist laments no longer being able to get human placenta from the black market, which might seem like something you don't want to admit on national TV, but Satoko has never been known for her subtlety. (Just ask the Countess.) Always the queen of multi-tasking, Sonja's busy planning her upcoming birthday party while she's laying on the massage table. Satoko doesn't make the guest list for the party, but for some reason Sonja assumes that even though some of her cast mates have yet to RSVP to the affair, they'll still be there. I may need to dust off my etiquette books from when RHOP ended, but I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what an RSVP actually means...
Meanwhile, Carole Radziwill has invited most of the other 'Wives to her chic apartment in the West Village for a good, old-fashioned psychic reading. After last season's hauntingly successful trip to the Turkish coffee grounds reader, Dorinda Medley is particularly jazzed about this next encounter with the paranormal courtesy of famed psychic medium Kim Russo. Based on numerous past experiences, otherworldly figures seem to positively adore our Dorinda. Bethenny Frankel and Jules Wainstein, on the other hand, are more than a little skeptical about the activity - what with the former being the most natural cynic of the bunch and the newbie's devout Jewish faith putting psychic readings strictly on the no-no list. As the ladies gather in Carole's living room, Kim Russo starts with Jules, picking up energy that the newbie is connecting with her life's mission to be a role model for other women. Jules is touched by this, explaining in her confessional that she hopes opening up about her past eating disorder can help make a difference in other people's lives.
However, Kim Russo quickly moves on to Dorinda with news that someone named John is trying to contact her. Turns out that Dorinda has more than a couple Johns in her life - including her boyfriend John Mahdessian, her father, her brother AND her grandfather just to name a few. In an instance of hilariously perfect timing, Ramona Singer arrives late, barging in and interrupting the reading before any John can get his message delivered. At this point, a pair of brothers reach out to Kim Russo, and they turn out to be Dorinda's late husband Richard and his brother Robert. After a touching moment where the psychic validates a promise Richard made to Dorinda before his death, she asks whether the gangster 'Wife wants to know what Richard thinks of John. Kim Russo then proceeds to tell Dorinda that Richard thinks her current boyfriend is "good for now" but can't provide her with the safety and security she needs long-term. She also predicts that Dorinda will one day get married again, but it won't be to John. This revelation prompts a classic, unfiltered response from the Ramonacoaster, who lets slip a relieved "thank God."
Naturally, this side comment sets Dorinda off, and she lets Ramona have it. Sick of hearing all the negativity about John, Dorinda points out that if Ramona was a good friend she would be supportive of their relationship, and tells her to keep her mouth shut. Furthermore, Dorinda informs Ramona that John isn't exactly her biggest fan either - in fact, he thinks she's nothing more than a "bitch." When will the Housewives learn their lesson? Do not say a bad word about John Mahdessian around Dorinda. It's really as simple as that. To drive the point home, Dorinda rather snidely hits below the belt, tauntingly reminding Ramona that Mario left her for a younger woman. Ouch. Kim Russo awkwardly moves on to Ramona, predicting that she'll also get married again and sending her a message from her late father, but the damage has been done and tensions remain high for the rest of the reading. Dorinda is clearly heartbroken by all the negativity and feels it's ruining her 20+-year friendship with Ramona.
The next day, Carole visits Jules at her apartment in the Flatiron District to rehash all the surprising drama and revelations from the psychic reading. (Quick side note: apparently Jules doesn't know what an iPod is? Or how to make tea? Seriously?) Carole asks Jules if she understood what the medium was talking about when she said she'd be a role model to other women, and the newbie confides in Writer Girl about her past struggles with an eating disorder. In her confessional, Carole admits she isn't exactly surprised by this news - considering Jules's "unnaturally thin" frame and preoccupation with food. Even during this chat, she's set out an entire table's worth of food that the two of them couldn't possibly finish by themselves. Jules opens up to Carole that she hopes sharing her life experience can inspire the younger generation of girls who are struggling with their own eating disorders. Carole eloquently explains that everyone's mission in life essentially comes down to one thing: "to articulate your suffering in a way that emancipates you and empowers [others]." She then encourages Jules to think about how she wants to articulate her journey to others, whether that's through giving speeches, working with university students or even writing a book. And if she needs a good ghostwriter, Writer Girl might just be able to recommend one...
Next, Dorinda meets John at Il Mulino Prime for a fancy dinner date. After being burned by the drama with Ramona at the psychic reading, Dorinda comes to the restaurant still feeling upset, and just wants John to be an empathetic ear she can vent to. However, as she opens up about what happened with Ramona, it quickly becomes clear that John's much more interested in making the drama all about him. As he repeatedly interrupts her story, Dorinda loses her patience and declares that she's officially done with the drama, storming out of the restaurant. As an unabashed fan of Dorinda, it's hard to watch her feel like no one is really on her side. In my recap of her very first episode as a Housewife, I specifically pointed out that she was empathetic and compassionate as she supported Ramona through her issues with Mario. She deserves the same type of respect and support back from the important people in her life.
While Bethenny braves the rain to launch her new Skinnygirl Bars and Protein Shakes, the night of Sonja's birthday party arrives and all of the 'Wives show up other than B and Carole. (Because that's what it means when you don't RSVP.) As the party begins, Ramona gathers Sonja, Jules and Dorinda to regale them with the story of the re-gifted necklace Luann de Lesseps gave her on her birthday. Of course, the Countess manages to make her grand entrance just as the story is wrapping up and pulls Ramona aside with an entire different bone to pick with the Singer Stinger. Luann wants to know why Ramona's so opposed to the idea of her staying with Sonja, and Ramotional rather abruptly blurts out that the Countess moving in will turn Sonja's townhouse into a veritable brothel. Harsh, but true? An insulted Luann counters that her fellow OG is being hypocritical about her own Turtle Time, but I think Ramona has a point here. With the reputation Luann has developed as a major partier with a penchant for bringing random men home with her at all hours of the night - a la last season's trip to the Turks and Caicos - it's probably not the best environment for Sonja to bring into her home. However, the most hilarious part of this argument is Jules managing to eavesdrop on the conversation with the help of her husband.
As the argument concludes, Dorinda asks Luann if it was about the necklace, at which point Ramona is forced to confront her over the gift in front of all the other girls. Luann can't believe what she's hearing, but Ramona thinks it was in awfully poor taste for her to present Bethenny with an engraved, monogrammed Carlos Falchi purse at the Ramonacoaster's own birthday party while she gave the actual birthday girl a necklace for the second time. In her confessional, the Countess amusingly points out that Ramona isn't even using the term "re-gift" correctly: it's actually when someone gives you a gift and you turn around and give it to someone else. But that's neither here nor there. Either way, Dorinda finds the conversation to be hilarious and so do I. Please never change, Ramona Singer.
At this point, John quiets the room for Sonja to make a birthday toast. However, Lady Morgan has more than just a speech up her sleeve. Raising her glass, Sonja announces that she's launching a new line of Prosecco as her latest business venture. She she says, anyone who knows her, knows she drinks an awful lot of the Italian sparkling wine. Oh, but that's not all! The name of the new Prosecco line is Tipsy Girl. Hmm...as Ramona and Jules are both quick to point out, Sonja's branding sounds an awful lot like Bethenny's Skinnygirl empire. And we all know how protective Bethenny is when it comes to the brand she's built. While Dorinda thinks there's room for everyone when it comes to starting companies and opines that Bethenny won't care, Jules asks Sonja point blank if she talked to the Skinnygirl before starting such a similar brand. I mean, Bethenny even has her own Prosecco! Sonja claims she can't wait to get the business maven's opinion and wishes she had come to the party, but we'll have to wait until next week to find out how Bethenny reacts to the news. (Hint: it's not going to be pretty.)
What did you think of this week's episode of RHONY? Do you believe in psychics or are you more skeptical? Do you side more with Luann or Ramona in the great re-gifting debate? How do you think Bethenny will feel about Sonja's new Tipsy Girl brand? Leave your thoughts and opinions below in the comments!