We're on the final leg of the trip to Dubai this week, and it mostly involves the women battling it out on a glamorous yacht as the exotic Dubai skyline floats past. Doesn't sound like my idea of a perfect vacation, but it sure made for entertaining television, at turns maddeningly complex and completely exhausting. The game of she said/she said never dies in Beverly Hills, even when we're halfway around the world.
Before we hit the open water, though, the 'Wives have a few more things to check off their Dubai bucket lists on the last day of the trip. First up, a trip to the legendary Dubai Mall, which is said to be one of the world's best shopping experiences. While being driven around the mall like they're on parade, the ladies engage in some good, old-fashioned, luxury retail therapy. However, between admiring the mall's giant, multi-story waterfall and popping into Chanel and Fendi, the tension from the night before is still palpable. In fact, besides a quick "good morning," Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson have hardly said a word to Lisa Vanderpump.
Next, the 'Wives visit the Burj Khalifa, which at 2716.5 ft. high is the tallest building on Earth. From the observation deck of the building's 152nd floor, the ladies marvel that the rest of Dubai's giant skyscrapers look like children's toys; they're even higher than a passenger plane flying below them! Maybe because she's feeling closer to heaven, Lisa V. pulls Eileen Davidson aside in yet another attempt to put their drama from the Hamptons behind them once and for all. All season long, Eileen has been looking for a sincere apology from LVP for referring to her relationship with her husband Vince Van Patten an "affair." (The pair met while working on The Young and the Restless in the 90s and were married to other people at the time.) Thanks to some coaching from Kyle Richards the night before, Lisa tries a new approach by saying she's sorry and honestly never meant to hurt Eileen in any way. However, while it sounded more genuine, the apology may be too little, too late, as it only gets a curt "I want you to know thatI appreciate you saying that" in response from the soap actress. At least no one got pushed off?
Back in Beverly Hills, Yolanda Foster is having a picnic with Brandi Glanville and Kim Richards. She's taken a lot of heat this season for her friendships with the former 'Wives but Yolanda defends her friendship with them as easy and judgement-free, which is a stark difference to how she feels around some of the other women. After joking about Brandi's slightly insensitive t-shirt gifts, the tree blondes commiserate about what a difficult year they've had. Yolanda opines that the other 'Wives have a habit of tossing people like Brandi and Kim aside when they no longer have anything to offer, and are all too eager to move on to new friends, new toys and new 'Wives. In her confessional, Yo explains that people in Beverly Hills are quick to rally around someone sick for the first two or three months, but when it comes to chronic illness they just don't have time for it. Whether it's her chronic Lyme disease or Kim's battle with sobriety, people simply don't like sick people.
On their last night in Dubai, the rest of the ladies decide to celebrate Kathryn Edwards' birthday by having dinner on a yacht. However, upon boarding the ladies immediately split into two group and start gossiping in hushed tones about the previous night's drama. Erika Jayne admits she's confused by the whole situation, but Eileen is sure the entire issue boils down to the fact that Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda simply don't like each other, leaving everyone else caught in the crossfire. The gossip session gets interrupted by Kathryn's mom calling to wish her a happy birthday from America, which brings the birthday girl and most of the other women to tears. Kathryn explains in her confessional that her mom has been suffering from the early stages of dementia, so it means even more that she would remember her birthday when she's halfway around the world.
Once dinner is served, the women fall into an uneasy silence, which prompts Kyle to spur conversation by putting everything out on the table. Lisa Rinna insists that the crux of the entire dramatic saga is Lisa Vanderpump's resentment and anger towards Yolanda. Could she still be angry over how Yolanda treated Ken during the Season 4 finale party two years ago? Is that where it stems from? LVP does admit she felt the need to protect her man, and suggests that Rinna would do the same for Harry Hamlin in that situation, i.e. the explosion last season in Amsterdam. However, Rinna still maintains that LVP wanted her to take the fall for the Munchausen allegations, and for Kyle to go down with her. Lisa V. continues to deny this, saying she would never do that Kyle as a friend, but - as Eileen quickly points out - Kyle's already confirmed Rinna's story, so I'm not sure what exactly there still is to argue about here.
Lisa insists that she merely said she thought Rinna was going to bring Kyle into it, but Kyle points out that at this point it's just semantics. The sentiment is the same. Eventually, Kathryn, Erika and Eileen get so fed up by the argument that they walk away from the table and Lisa Rinna soon follows, leaving Kyle and LVP to talk the issue out. Erika surmises in her confessional that Kyle doesn't want to pay the price for going against Lisa Vanderpump, and calls their dynamic a "leveraged relationship" rather than a friendship. Kyle does cop to protecting her friendship with LVP, but accuses her fellow OG once they're alone of making her look like an "abused wife" who's lying to protect her. Kyle's left feeling like an idiot for bending over backwards to stick by Lisa, and begs her at the table to tell the actual truth. However, LVP refuses to budge and, seeing she can't possibly get anywhere, Kyle decides to drop the subject with the promise that things are still fine between the two.
As the yacht reaches land, Kyle tries to salvage Kathryn's birthday with a cake, presents and bouquet of flowers. It's a nice gesture, but at this point any good vibes have fizzled out over the Persian Gulf. Before blowing out her candles, Kathryn makes a wish out loud so that all the 'Wives can hear. Other than health and happiness, all she wants is for the women to treat each other civilly. Really though, is that too much to ask? I mean, is this the worst or best birthday Kathryn has ever had?
The next morning, the 'Wives pack up and meet for an early breakfast before heading to the airport. Lisa Vanderpump is still fuming over the trip's nonstop drama, but the women go around the table deciding on their favorite parts of the trip. From riding through the desert and experiencing a real Arabian Nights dinner to going all the way to the top of the Burj Khalifa, the vacation was full of over-the-top, unforgettable experiences. Erika stands to give a toast, thanking Kyle for organizing her first-ever girls trip and the women cheers to the "wonderful" time they all had arguing in - oops I mean experiencing - Dubai.
Next week, the season finale! Leave your comments below and hit the Share button to share this recap on social media...