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Real Housewives

RHOP Ssn 1/Ep 4 - Desperately Seeking Marriage

Glenn Rowley

robyn-dixon-bankruptcy

We're only on episode 4 and one 'Wife is already declaring bankruptcy and another's marriage is crumbling. These Potomac women sure went from 0 to 60 in about .2 seconds, didn't they? This week's recap will be pretty short and sweet though, since there are only a couple of hot-button issues that need discussing.

karen-huger-holy-water-flight-school

The episode starts with something completely out of left field: grande dame Karen Huger has decided to go to flight school. Yes, she wants to learn to fly a plane. Now, to me, this comes across as one of two things: Karen is having some sort of midlife crisis because her youngest child is graduating from high school or there's a little bit of self-producing happening for the cameras. I've gotten a bit of the latter vibe from her over the past few weeks and this now makes me question whether Karen would really be learning to fly if the cameras weren't rolling. Self-production always comes across as slightly inauthentic and never looks good - ask Gretchen Rossi and Alexis Bellino how the strategy worked out for them...I will admit though, it was pretty humorous seeing Karen pray over the plane with her homemade holy water. Jesus, take the wheel...or joystick as the case may be. 

katie-rost-ashley-darby-google-gossip

Meanwhile, Ashley Darby meets up with Katie Rost at the park for two express purposes: to get her biological clock ticking by playing with Katie's kids and to invite the former model to her upcoming kitty cat themed 27th birthday party. However, Little Miss Ashley has far juicier gossip to spill than an invite to her party. Once the kids have been wrangled by May, Katie's lesbian nanny, Ashley starts dishing the dirt. After meeting Gizelle, Robyn and Katie at the Sip with Socialites event, the millenial 'Wife took it upon herself to Google each of her potential new friends and the search results came up with some very interesting information - like the fact that Katie used to date business mogul Russell Simmons. The dirt Ashley found on Robyn, on the other hand, isn't quite so pretty. According to the internet, Robyn and her ex-husband Juan are filing for bankruptcy. Apparently the situation is so dire that they have roughly $25 in their bank account. Yikes. Naturally, Katie is stunned by this revelation as Ashley surmises that maybe this is why Robyn's been so standoffish to her so far. 

charrisse-jackson-jordan-marriage-problems

At her home, Charrisse Jackson Jordan is shooting hoops with her kids, Jackson and Skylar, when she gets a visit from non-Friend of the Housewives Brynee Baylor, a disbarred lawyer from whom Bravo presumably wanted to distance itself. Brynee asks where Charrisse's absentee husband is, and she admits that he went back to New Jersey after an awkward-sounding less-than-24-hours visit. Charrisse tearfully explains that her marriage isn't the perfect-picture relationship she always pictured. After 18 years of marriage, Charrisse and Eddie barely spend four minutes communicating every day. Brynee asks if Charrisse wants to keep fighting for her marriage and the emotional 'Wife doesn't have an answer. Brynee reminds Charrisse's happiness is just as important as everyone else's, which is something she may have forgotten in the intervening years.

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After a couple of quick scenes of Gizelle Bryant and her girls meeting up with her ex-husband for lunch and Katie deciding to renovate a room in Andrew's townhouse while he's gone, Karen, Katie, Gizelle and Charrisse meet at the latter's house for an impromptu girls night. As soon as the wine is poor, the tea starts being spilled with Katie coyly admitting that she maybe possibly swung both ways back in her wild days as a model in NYC. When you're dancing on tables and booking photoshoots left and right, what's a little girl-on-girl action? Katie also fills the girls in on Ashley's illicit Google activities, including the allegations against Robyn. Naturally, none of the ladies take kindly to this information and now Little Miss Ashley is officially in hot water. 

charrisse-jackson-jordan-crumbling-marriage

Charrisse and her paisley silk pajamas play devil's advocate by pointing out that oftentimes people in communities like Potomac tend to put up a facade to hide what's really going on - just like she's been doing with her marriage for the past three years. She finally breaks down to the other 'Wives and tells them she has no idea where her marriage is headed, but either way it's definitely on shaky ground. Katie, Gizelle and Karen rally around their friend and express support for her, particularly Gizelle, who went through an all-too-similar situation in her marriage with Jamal before their divorce. It's a nice moment of solidarity between the women before the inevitable roller coaster of drama continues within the group. 

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After Katie awkwardly reveals her renovated "Mrs. room" to a baffled Andrew (who calls the move "aggressive"), it's time for Ashley's kitty bash. While they put together their decidedly non-animal print outfits, Gizelle informs Robyn over the phone about Ashley's search history about her financial problems. Robyn can't believe what Little Miss Ashley was thinking by digging up dirt on her, but Gizelle encourages her to come to the party and confront the birthday girl herself. The rest of the women arrive at L2, the club in Georgetown serving as the party's venue, and are immediately turned off by the cash bar and Katie and Andrew's incessantly sloppy PDA. We're talking horizontal tongue-licking going on in front of the rest of the guests. It's not pretty to watch. 

ashley-darby-robyn-dixon-google-drama

Robyn's the last guest to arrive (still before Ashley's grand entrance)and immediately bolts to the bar with Gizelle. Ashley finally shows up wearing a leopard-print corset and a cat-ear headband straight out of Ariana Grande's "Love Me Harder" video. After making the rounds to greet her guests, Little Miss Ashley makes her way over to the bar and walks straight into a confrontation with a very angry Robyn. The PR maven demands to know why Ashley felt the need to spread gossip she found on Google around town, and wants an explanation as to why the now-27-year-old felt it was any of her business in the first place. Ashley insists she didn't talk about Robyn's bankruptcy with any malicious intent but balks at Robyn's insistence that it's a thing of the past. If the Dixons filed bankruptcy last summer, does it really go away that quickly? Even so, I'm still 100% team Robyn on this one. It was none of Ashley's business in the first place, nor should she have spread the gossip. Ultimately, Ashley apologizes for initiating the Google drama and Robyn agrees to give her a second chance. The party is capped with Michael presenting his 27-year-old bride with a brand new Porsche and they ride off into the night. Over the course of the party, one thing has become clear: Little Miss Ashley certainly knows how to stir up conversation...and drama.