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Real Housewives

RHOBH Ssn 6/Ep 7 - Pretty Mess

Glenn Rowley

bethenny-frankel-rhobh-hamptons

We're back in the Hamptons for round 2 and the ladies are butting heads all around. This week we see the start of Eileen vs. Lisa Vanderpump, as well as some drama between Erika and visiting RHONY OG Bethenny Frankel. Remember what I said last week about how much I love Bravo in the Hamptons? Buckle up, because here we go!

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We pick up right where we left off at the Bella Magazine Party, but by now it's gotten dark and dinner is served. Over a delicious-looking meal, conversation between the women turns to the subject of divorce, as mutual friends of the two Lisas are in the midst of a nasty split. Once Eileen pipes in, Lisa Vanderpump turns her attention to the soap star, asking for details about how she got together with Vinny. This conversation feels a bit been-there-done-that, since Eileen was more than forthcoming about the origin of her marriage last season, but Lisa Vanderpump latches on and doesn't let go. Once Eileen reveals that she met Vinny on the set of The Young and the Restless (while they both were married), Lisa's face lights up into a veritable Cheshire Cat grin and she jumps to get more details. When did the "affair" start? Did they have to kiss on set? Did sparks fly? Eileen clearly balks at use of the a-word in reference to her 15-year relationship. Yes, they met when they were married to other people, but it wasn't some secret, salacious relationship. In fact, Eileen handled everything as forthrightly as possible - even separating from her then-husband when she realized she was starting to have feelings for Vince. Seeing that Eileen is visibly uncomfortable with the interrogation, Kyle saves her from more questioning with a cheers to Lisa V. for landing the magazine cover. However, this issue seems far from over now...

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The next day, Kyle calls Bethenny to confirm their plans for later that evening and the 'Wives head to a winery for some wine tasting (but not before it takes three of them to spell "Southampton with one h"). During the limo ride to the winery, Eileen is still irked at the unresolved tension with Lisa V. from the night before, but puts on her best smile like a trooper. Over wine and a charcuterie, Lisa Rinna tries to get the low-down on Erika, who's arriving from Chicago later that day. Being the only 'Wife who hasn't met the newbie, Lisa R. informs the other women that she Googled her. Naturally, the first thing to pop up was Erika Jayne's latest music video for her song "PAINKILLR," and Rinna is taken aback by just how raunchy and hypersexual the clip is. As she passes the video around the table, the other women insist that isn't what Erika's like in real life - with Eileen saying she'd love to be Erika Jayne for fun and Lisa V. calling Rinna out on being a prude. Cheers to soft porn!

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Later that day, Erika arrives at the rental house looking like she just walked off the pages of a Barbie photoshoot. I was bummed we didn't get to actually see her at Chicago Pride, but couldn't take my eyes off that amazing Chanel padlock necklace, so I guess I survived. Eileen and Lisa R. quickly inform the newbie that they watched her video, which Erika gets a crack out of. Lisa Rinna admits to being prudish about the raciness of it, but the pop star calmly explains that it's just like playing a character when you're acting. Plus, Lisa Rinna has posed for Playboy for Pete's sake, so I'm not sure why she's clutching her pearls so tightly. Once Kyle leaves to go to Bethenny's, Erika gifts Lisa R. and Eileen with shirts from her show and explains that she'll be stopping in Cleveland on her way back from the Hamptons to pick up Yolanda. She informs the other women that the surgery was an apparent success and that Yo can't wait to show her what the doctor took out of her body. Eileen optimistically voices her hope that this explant surgery could be the magic bullet that Yolanda's been searching for.

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Meanwhile, Yolanda is recovering in a hotel room in Cleveland, missing all the Hamptons fun. As David nurses her back to health, Lisa Vanderpump calls to check in on Yo and ensure they got the (non-pink) flowers she sent. Yolanda talks her through the procedure while David tastelessly jokes that "Ken has better tits than her" now. Yo opines that this might have been the problem of why she wasn't getting any better while Lisa V. hopes in her interview that taking the implants out is the solution she needed. For the first time in four years, Yolanda's not coughing, so let's keep our fingers crossed that this improvement keeps up. And with that, that's all we see of lyme disease, bloody implants and David Foster for the episode. On to Bethenny's!

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Before the other 'Wives arrive, Kyle heads to Bethenny's for some one-on-one time. The two OGs have been good friends for more than 25 years, long before they became Bravolebrities on their respective Housewives franchises. I can't quite put into words how much I loved seeing these two on screen together. It's no secret that Kyle Richards has been my all-time favorite Housewife since the day RHOBH premiered and Bethenny is something like my spirit animal, so this is just a match made in my personal Housewives heaven. And the best part is they clearly, genuinely care about each other. As Bethenny gives Kyle a tour of her Hamptons home - which, before I get any further, I need to point out is my literal DREAM piece of property; I'm obsessed with that house - Kyle reflects on the time Bethenny worked for her sister Kathy Hilton 25 years prior, driving future socialites Paris and Nicky to school. The roots between these two run deep. 

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Bethenny tells Kyle she heard about the drama going on with Kim and asks if it's being blown out of proportion by the media. When Kyle explains that it's been hard with everyone constantly asking about it, B points out that she feels bad for Kyle, who's being left on the outside. Bethenny recognizes that Kyle is doing what she needs to do to help Kim, even if the former 'Wife doesn't want to be helped. Finally receiving a genuine moment of validation and empathy from a friend, Kyle starts getting emotional and opening up about the toll the situation is taking on her family. She explains in her confessional that it's just different when Bethenny asks about Kim because the RHONY star has known them both for more than two decades and it's coming from a genuine place. For once Kyle doesn't have to feel defensive about her family drama and can just open up to a good friend.

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With the more sensitive topics out of the way, Bethenny wants all the dirt on Erika. Who is this girl? Kyle explains that the newbie is a performer and dancer, and whips out her phone to show Bethenny Erika's Instagram, @theprettymess. Bethenny's first reaction? "What the f***? All right, Barbie..." B rightly points out that Erika looks like a Playboy bunny, but proclaims that she's "into it" as Kyle tries to explain the difference between the real Erika and Erika Jayne. Right on time, the rest of the women arrive for the dinner party and Bethenny gets her first in-person glimpse at the infamous newbie. Off the bat, Bethenny tells Erika she just finished Insta-stalking her and is obsessed with what she saw. As the ladies sit down for dinner in Bethenny's gorgeous backyard, she christens Erika "Bambi," who gives approximately zero f***s.

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As the meal gets underway, Eileen asks if the women are interested in seeing Erika perform live, and Bethenny says she wants to see the music video and asks Erika if her overall message and brand as Erika Jayne is about female empowerment. Once she sees the video for "Painkillr," Lisa V. presses B for her honest thoughts, and the Skinnygirl mogul tells Erika point blank that she thinks the video's production value looks cheap. Having watched the video, I get where Bethenny is coming from and agree that Erika seemed to be trying for an erotic avant garde feel that wasn't quite strong enough. However, during a dinner party where she is one of your guests may not be the best time to voice these opinions, B. Erika seems unfazed by the criticism, standing by her alter ego with rock solid determination, but Bethenny opines that it doesn't come across as obvious that Erika Jayne is an alter ego from her social media.

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At this point, Erika starts getting more defensive, saying in her confessional that she's not going to tell anyone what to do with their "Skinnygirl sh**," so maybe Bethenny shouldn't tell her what to do with Erika Jayne. To Bethenny's face, she boldly points out that she puts herself out there with her act, so she has to be prepared for people's opinions to come back to her, good or bad. Bethenny insists that she didn't mean any harm by voicing her opinion, but Erika says it doesn't really matter to her - she can be Mrs. Tom Girardi by day and Erika Jayne by night. Oh and by the way, she would never treat a guest in her house the way B is treating her...The other women successfully defuse the tension and Erika offers to give the Skinnygirl an impromptu lesson in being Erika Jayne, which promptly results in B ripping the seam of her pants. Karma, girl. Thank goodness there was no "pat the puss" this time around.

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The next morning, the BH ladies are lounging around the rental house doing yoga and making breakfast when Eileen pulls Lisa Rinna aside for a little advice. She's still bothered by Lisa V.'s interrogation at the Bella party and isn't quite sure how to handle it. While Eileen is opening up to her BFF about feeling grilled, it turns out that Lisa Vanderpump is doing the exact same type of thing to Erika on the way over in the limo. Lisa Rinna encourages Eileen to tell Lisa V. how she feels, which is a bit easier said than done. During the limo ride, Erika wisely posits that Lisa Vandepump enjoys making people feel uncomfortable as a way to assert her spot as queen bee within the group, and that it's in Lisa's "best interest to keep all her little ducks in a row." This newbie is a quick one, you guys. She's not about to be played by Lisa Vanderpump.

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Once Lisa V. and Erika arrive at the house, Erika rehashes the previous night's drama with Bethenny to the girls. Despite the NYC OG letting her have it over Erika Jayne, the new 'Wife is determined to be nice - being a bitch back just isn't in her nature. Maybe Bethenny's just jealous? Either way, Erika Jayne is not in the business of selling cookies - no offense to anyone who is. As Kyle leaves to go check on her pop-up shop, Eileen and her pretty butterfly top pull Lisa V. aside to discuss the conversation from the Bella party. Eileen calmly tries to explain that all the questions about her relationship with Vinny left her feeling uncomfortable, but Lisa V. insists she never meant to pry unnecessarily. Uh-huh. Sure.

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Eileen admits that she might be a bit sensitive to the topic after what happened last year with Brandi and the wine throw, which immediately puts Lisa on the defensive. Surely she's nothing like Brandi Glanville. Lisa seems a bit blindsided by the whole ordeal, but approaches the issue a bit condescendingly and makes it seem like Eileen's feelings are invalid. Lisa half-heartedly apologizes for asking too many questions, but claims she feels she knows Eileen better now because of the talk. The whole thing just makes no sense to her and she goes back to her whole "ask me anything" routine. Eileen rightly surmises in her confessional that Lisa always acts like she's so open, but in reality is much more comfortable digging into other people's lives than talking about her own. In the end, nothing gets resolved from the conversation - Eileen tried to tell Lisa her feelings were hurt, and the queen bee managed to turn the whole thing back around on her. So...that's all cleared up. Right?