We're back in the Edison Ballroom for more of the New York City reunion. I actually feel like a mini-Andy Cohen typing that out, which is basically a dream come true for my life. In this middle section, much of the focus was on Ramona's behavior as well as a look back on Dorinda's inaugural season as a Housewife. But before we get to any of that, we have to finish what was started last week during Part 1.
Carole vs. the Countess - Round 5(000)
We pick up right where we left off on the seemingly never-ending issue between Carole, Adam and Luann. It's fairly obvious that the Countess isn't ready to let go of this vendetta, as she tries to rally support from her side of the couches with some vigorous nodding. Ever the voice of reason, Carole points out that Luann's animosity about the situation happened behind her back for most of the season. Even during Dorinda's cocktail party when Carole first told her, Luann said they would figure the whole thing out and never once said it was this huge friendship-ending problem between the two. Luann admits that it started as a small annoyance and escalated over the course of filming, to which Bethenny rather obviously points out that there was no way for Carole to have known that. However, Andy (like the rest of us) is ready to stop this endless hamster wheel of an argument and puts a pin in the discussion...finally.
D is for Dorinda & Dirty Martinis
Moving on, we're treated to a package all about the newest gangster in town: Dorinda Medley. The rookie certainly made an impression this year - clashing with Heather, defending her touchy-feely boyfriend and downing one dirty martini after another. After the package, she announces that she and John are still happily together and slight progress has been made in his relationship with Hannah, but Dorinda's not pushing it. The rest of the ladies, however, weren't so fond of John in the beginning. Ramona called him a social climber and a hanger-on, but claims now that she was merely being protective of Dorinda. The other women start chiming in, and while Doris appreciates their opinions, the decision to stay with John is ultimately up to her.
Andy then asks the 'Wives by a raise of hands how many of them thought John's touchy-feely behavior was inappropriate and several of their hands go up in the air. As Dorinda jumps in to defend her man, Andy wants to hear from Kristen, who found herself on the receiving end of John's handsy affections at the cocktail party at World Bar. It's not lost on me that this is the second time all reunion Kristen's been given express permission to get a word in edgewise. Kristen explains her side of the story - that they were all joking around until John took it a step too far and she removed herself from the situation. Dorinda, however, gets offended and accuses Kristen of overreacting to the "fun" and bringing it up constantly. Kristen fires back that she did nothing wrong and that Ramona was actually the one who stirred the pot by talking about the incident. She drives the point home by reiterating that John was the one who was inappropriate, so you better check yourself, Doris!
The conversation then turns to Heather's season-long series of clashes with her Berkshires buddy, and how the drama spilled onto social media. Dorinda claims she was hurt by Heather being dismissive of and condescending to her, particularly in the Turks and Caicos. Heather maintains that she never preached or condescended to her friend and Doris snidely retaliates by saying the Holla Queen was a very good guest swimming in her pool. Bethenny for one doesn't understand the tension: are these two enemies now? Heather says no, but claims Dorinda has an ax to grind with her. The newbie cuts her off, saying all they need is a mob with torches, the Tower of London and a hunchback for Heather to start her martyr act. I love Dorinda's dramatic metaphors - right away she follows that one up by likening Heather's be-all-end-all opinions to Moses handing down judgements from Mount Sinai.
When the F-U dinner gets brought up Dorinda feigns relative innocence, but Kristen calls her out for having five-too-many dirty martinis and letting loose her underbelly of anger that hides under the surface of Dorinda's personality. Many of the other women agree that Doris lashes out when she drinks, but Bethenny thinks she gets sensitive and emotional rather than downright angry. So where do Heather and Dorinda go from here? There's nowhere to go but up, and Heather thinks maybe the pair need to go take a long walk in the Berkshires and talk things out.
Cougars on the Prowl
Next up for discussion is the cougarish ways of many of the ladies this season: younger men, older men, the 'Wives were single and ready to mingle with a bevy of boys this year. Andy thinks it was great entertainment, and sees it as the women being sexually free and empowered. I will say it gave viewers at home plenty of great eye candy throughout the season. The one single girl who didn't put much energy into romance was Bethenny, who explained that she's dating but isn't looking for someone who wants to be on camera. In fact, the men she's been seeing lately aren't even on social media - no Twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram - and B prefers it that way. Plus, if she ever gets too lonely, she always has Carole to sleep in bed with on their trips to the Galapagos Islands.
The End of Ramona and Mario
Part of the new Ramona this season was seeing her as a single woman for the first time since the show began. Of course, this new chapter in her life only came as a result of Mario's cheating and the subsequent dissolution of their marriage. After a flashback to the Season 6 reunion where Ramona pulled a Stonewall Jackson, she offers a Ramotional apology to Andy for being so disrespectful and admits she should have answered his questions differently. She says it's the worst feeling in the world to be betrayed by a cheating spouse, but claims the real root of the issue was that Mario couldn't handle being overshadowed by the Ramonacoaster. His insecurities led to a full-blown midlife crisis, which is when he decided to get himself a girlfriend. Ramona then, finally, opens up about catching Mario in their Southampton home with his mistress in the kitchen. She called it a moment straight out of a horror movie and, in a moment of solidarity, the rest of the women seem empathetic to their friend's hardship.
A Tale of Two (Stolen) Dresses
However, when it comes to Ramona's self-professed new beginning, not all the other women are buying what she's selling. Andy asks about the two dresses she allegedly stole from Bethenny's talk show and she and the Skinnygirl have two very conflicting stories to tell. The part they can agree on is that Ramona spilled pinot on her outfit while taping a Housewives segment for the show. Bethenny offered her a dress to change into for the show, which Ramona ended up running off with after filming. When B texted her asking for the dress back, the Ramonacoaster claimed she thought the assistant had gifted it to her and promised to return it. However, when someone on Bethenny's staff came by to pick up the dress, Ramona pretended not to be home. When she then ended up with yet another dress from Bethenny, the Singer Stinger claimed it fell out of the back of her car, but later posted a picture with Avery while wearing the supposedly lost garment.
Bethenny rightfully points out that neither of the dresses belong to Ramona, they belonged to the show. But Ramotional doesn't see what the big point is: the show is cancelled, right? Bethenny then christens her "Ranona Ryder". After all, the franchise needed a kleptomaniac to round out the cast. And yet, even after calling her a thief, Bethenny can't stay mad at Ramona, explaining that she still loves her longtime frenemy-turned-friend.
A Terrible, Terrible Quality
Andy asks for another raise of hands from the 'Wives: who thinks Ramona's really changed? Surprisingly, the majority raise their hands (minus Kristen and a half-raise from B). The vote of confidence makes Ramona happy; she wanted to make a conscious effort this season to change. In spite of her efforts to believe she'd changed, Bethenny claims Ramona has a very cunning side to her that continues to rear its ugly head. Case in point: the rumors Ramona spread towards the end of the season that Bethenny cheated on her first husband. Bethenny goes for the jugular on the issue, refusing to let Ramona off the hook for a single word. We didn't see the Skinnygirl this angry all season and the attack on her character is certainly a valid reason to get fired up. Calling it a terrible, terribly quality about Ramona, Bethenny calls her an "ass**** and a bottom-feeder" for spreading the untrue rumor. Ramona tries to offer an apology but don't worry, they can discuss it at next season's New Beginnings party...