Well that escalated quickly. Just one episode after the cancer storyline reared its possibly fake head, the claws are officially out between Vicki and Meghan over the issue. However, there's plenty we need to cover before we get to that explosive confrontation, so here we go. The episode starts with Tamra visiting Vicki's house with Ryan, Sarah and baby Ava in tow, since the OG has offered her backyard for their impending wedding. However, the real reason for the visit is to talk about Brooks' birthday dinner with the Beadors and Tamra cuts right to the chase. Vicki gives the the lowdown on what happened with Shannon, including that she still doesn't know exactly what Meghan said about Brooks. Tamra fills her in on the conversation after she left CUT Fitness and what exactly the psychic said earlier that day. According to Vicki's rationale, the psychic not seeing the cancer could mean that hallelujah, Brooks is cured! She rather ominously forewarns that Meghan is messing with the wrong person, and for the newbie to believe what the psychic said just goes to show how ignorant, naive and young she is. If she was getting out of it before, Vicki's most definitely not going to NASCAR now. Meghan can kiss her a**.
The rest of the ladies and their husbands, however, head out to the Auto Club Speedway in Fontana the next day for the NASCAR day that Meghan organized. The couples arrive in pairs, with the Edmonds and Dubrows at the track first to take a tour, meet some drivers (including an unsmiling Danica Patrick) and take a lap around the track in a pace car going a cool 125 mph. After being suitably freaked out by being inches from an impending, high-speed death, the foursome retire to their reserved suite for some cocktails and champs. Once they've settled down with their drinks, Meghan relays that she received an angry text from Vicki about her involvement in the cancer conversation. My favorite moment of this exchange had to be Meghan disbelievingly telling Heather that Vicki thought she was insinuating that Brooks doesn't have cancer and Fancy Pants' point blank reply of "well, you were." Heather admits to being confused why Brooks isn't meeting with Shannon's doctor, who seems to have the most resources, but also just can't see someone faking cancer. Though if he is, that's a gigantic dose of bad karma. Fancy Pants also points out in her confessional that the OG of the OC is a bad person to get on the wrong side of, and Meghan might not recognize the trouble she's gotten herself into.
Heather and Terry excuse themselves to head back to the OC as Tamra, Eddie, Shannon and David arrive and head down to the pit road to watch the race. Everything about NASCAR seems incredibly loud and fast-paced, and the husbands in particular were loving the whole thing. Once the group is back up in the suite, Shannon brings up her side of the fiasco at Brooks' birthday dinner, explaining that she didn't exactly say anything but was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Meghan presses her for more information because she doesn't understand how Vicki knew what she'd said if Shannon didn't pass it along, and Tamra cops to being the one to tell Vicki the whole story. Finally, everything about this massive game of telephone is out in the open. Meghan reiterates that she doesn't know why the blame is all being put on her when she merely repeated what the psychic said, and it's a valid point. Somehow the rest of the ladies have escaped Vicki's brewing wrath unscathed. Additionally, the newbie can't comprehend why Vicki would be so upset at her when she's going through a cancer-related issue with LeAnn herself. LeAnn can't do chemotherapy anymore because it was causing her to bleed internally, so to see Brooks simply choosing to stop the treatment when he still has options "blows [Meghan's] mind." But by now she knows that Vicki's going to be gunning for her when the ladies all get together at Heather's luncheon later in the week.
Next, we have a number of individual scenes. First, Tamra visits a realty office to get back into selling houses. She also reveals during the meeting that she's helped buy Ryan and Sarah a house in Orange County without consulting with Eddie. I don't know about you, but paying a $7933 deposit for your son's house seems like a pretty big welcome home gift to give without your husband's knowledge. Across town, Shannon and David are helping their girls paint together in the craft room. Shannon explains in her interview that, after everything the kids have been through, she feels it's important they see the effort she and David are putting into creating a more peaceful home environment. However, poor Stella is still holding a grudge over the TP'ing apology letter as well as her mom's lack of comparative praise over her painting. I never noticed it before but is Stella Beador the newer, older Milania of the OC? She has kept me cracking up two weeks in a row now.
Vicki and Brooks, meanwhile, are celebrating her birthday sans the other ladies by renting a boat for a dinner cruise. Despite his cancer, Brooks managed to plan the entire evening and Vicki loves having everything be about her for a minute. She's refusing to give the fake cancer rumor any life by talking about it, but inevitably references it by telling Brooks she would take a bullet for him and promising to defend him forever. She also manages to tell the waiter all about her mom's passing and nearly face plants on the deck because of her shoes. Noted: walking on a boat in heels is not a good idea. The next day, Tamra takes Meghan to look at a new listing in Coto de Caza, where it becomes readily apparent that Miss 30-Year-Old doesn't know who Heather Locklear, Richie Sambora or Tommy Lee are. She claims during the tour not to be nervous to see Vicki at Heather's luncheon - she feels confident in what she's said and done and is ready to own it. Talk about being Tamra's mini-me.
In the third birthday in two weeks, the Beadors take the kids out to celebrate Shannon's 51st. In her interview, she explains that her 50th birthday the year before turned out to be terrible. Apparently, David was "intimate" with her that night (love that word, and by love I mean hate) and then left later to be with his mistress. Ouch. Even with everything we've seen about the affair, I'm not sure why that tidbit of information needed to be shared on camera. Needless to say, Shannon has expectations for this birthday to make up for last years, and David is striking out at every turn. First she doesn't like the sports bar he chose because it's not appropriate for the kids, then the spareribs have too much fat on them, then the kids start noticing the tension. By the time the birthday cake comes out, Shannon has reached a painfully awkward level of silence, crying in her confessional that she can't believe she was stupid enough to believe David would give her a good birthday. Two steps forward, one step back for the Beadors. Yikes.
Finally, the day arrives for Heather's luncheon. None of the other 'Wives had seen the house since last season's groundbreaking hoedown, Fancy Pants thought it would be a good excuse for a get-together now that construction is about halfway done. Can I just point out that the OC ladies really seem to love a party in an unfinished space...One by one, the ladies arrive in either white or bright colors - Vicki is rocking an electric pink caped dress - and I'm incredibly happy to see Lizzie for the first time in a couple of episodes. First, Heather gives the women and her other friends a tour of the gigantic construction site. Chateau Dubrow is the most grandiose, over-the-top house I've possibly ever seen, complete with a beauty salon, 14 bathrooms, a luggage room and a dumbwaiter that takes your groceries straight from the garage up to the pantry. It also features an 18-seat movie theater, a butler's kitchen, towel-warming drawers in the bathrooms and four kinds of lit-up ice throughout the house. I just have no words.
Naturally, the tour leads to an exquisitely-decorated table where Heather's hosting her luncheon. At first, everything is lovely, as Heather sends a glass clink train around the table in the name of friendship and Tamra tells the women about Ryan's new house. However, she still hasn't mentioned it to Eddie, which the ladies point out she probably needs to do sooner rather than later. But for now, he's still on a strictly need-to-know basis. Also during the lunch, Meghan thanks Shannon for her help with LeAnn's cancer treatment. Apparently, Shannon made some calls at City of Hope to get LeAnn into her doctor. With the somewhat rocky history between Shannon and Meghan, the gesture is a pure, kind-hearted thing to do that demonstrates Shannon's big heart.
For some reason, Meghan then feels the need to turn her attention towards Vicki and bring up what she said at CUT about Brooks. Immediately, Vicki goes on the attack by threatening to take Meghan down if she ever questions whether Brooks has cancer again. Vicki's blood is boiling so much that she's shaking as she tries to address Meghan, saying she can't even look at her. Meghan's attempts at an explanation fall on deaf ears as Vicki doesn't want to hear about LeAnn or City of Hope or anything the newbie pot-stirrer has to say. When Meghan starts questioning why Brooks didn't use Shannon's doctor and why Vicki hasn't gone to more of his appointments, Vicki starts to rage, calling Meghan a little girl who needs to go away and get a "big-girl job" because she hasn't experienced life like the rest of the women. When Meghan once again tries to talk about LeAnn, Vicki shuts in down by harshly pointing out that it's her husband's ex-wife. This then sends the newbie into tears, who accuses the OG of trying to diminish her pain when LeAnn is dying. Meghan also brings up that she's done some research since the booty class on resvertrol and there's no medical evidence that it will do anything to cure cancer. This prompts the best line of the night in Shannon's interview: "who does she think she is? Woodward and Bernstein meets Florence Nightingale?" Eventually, Vicki just starts screaming things like "YOU'RE not getting involved in it!" and "Shame on you!" But when Meghan won't stop, the OG finally tells her to shut up, saying she "[doesn't] even want to go there." Immediately turning off the tears, Meghan then pops off, "you're just an old woman who's bitter and angry at the world, so you shut up." Vicki has a fire in her eyes to go for the jugular, and the rest of the ladies have been stunned into silence around the table. The episode ends with an ominous "To Be Continued..." I have the feeling that next week, things are only bound to get worse.