It's Episode 3 and after last week's small taste of trouble between NYC alphas Bethenny and Ramona, we're finally served up the first big clash of the season. That's right, folks: Battle of the Brunches. If there's one thing I love most about the NY Housewives, it's having to choose between dueling events in the Hamptons. I'm having flashbacks of season 3's dueling Labor Day parties, with Alex McCord stuck between Luann and Ramona's weekend shindigs.
First of all, I have to say I am loving all of this Hamptons life we're getting to see. If Andy Cohen decided to launch a permanent Real Housewives of the Hamptons spinoff, I would be 100% on board. But until then, I'm more than happy with the Hamptons episodes we're getting. It's a perfect balance to the rat race craziness of the city - not that any of our beloved 'Wives calm down in the country.
So we start off Brunch #1 in the blue corner, otherwise known as Bethenny's house. I also need to pause right here and say that I am obsessed with Bethenny's house in the Hamptons. Obsessed. The blueish wood, the red door, just everything. Yes, Bethenny's brunch may have looked like a Skinnygirl convention, but it was Bethenny trying to put her best foot forward with this new group of girls.
For Brunch #2 in the red corner, we have the bickering old lady brigade at 75 Main. This possibly food-free brunch was being hosted by Ramona, supposedly in honor of newbie Dorinda Medley. There was the case of the phantom email, Ramona's younger sister talking about karma and Ramonja getting on each other's nerves.
So who served the better brunch? At Bethenny's, the girls were treated to bacon, eggs, frittata, easy conversation and gifts! Everyone loves a free gift. Carole, you run with that blender, girl! At Ramona's, they had an endless supply of Bloody Marys and - as Dorinda so eloquently put it - "a bunch of old bitches fight[ing] the whole time." I don't know about you, but I'm easily giving this one to Bethenny. Attention: The B is the victor of #Brunchgate!
On separate note, how stressful would it be to host a brunch and not know if anyone was coming? And this is a problem that apparently happened at both brunches. No one RSVP'd to Bethenny and the girls were then an hour and 45 minutes late to Ramona's. It's called etiquette, shouldn't the Countess know? The other thing the Countess should know is that this Native American-chic thing she continues to try simply isn't going to happen. Please make it stop.
So we finally leave the Hamptons and head back to the city to regroup. Dorinda is still getting quite a bit of solo screen time as a newbie - something I'm extra conscious of with eight official 'Wives this year. And while I VERY strongly agree with her about John taking a phone call at the table (it's so rude and a huge pet peeve), my roommate - who happened to be watching from the kitchen - couldn't help but comment that he "would go crazy if I had a girl like that." What do you think? Is Dorinda's attitude endearing or annoying?
After seeing Ramona and Luann continue to connect over lunch, which I still find weirdly unsettling to watch, the final event of the episode is a regular girls' night out at Manhattan hotspot Beautique. Only at this point does it really dawn on me just how many of the 'Wives this year are single and on the prowl. Out of the eight, Kristen and Heather are the only ones actually married, and you can count Dorinda and John as being in a committed relationship. That's less than half. And look! It's Jellybean Kelly Bensimon! Another vintage RHONY moment. Though I have to echo Bethenny's sentiments...Kelly Bensimon? Really? That's so 2000-and-who-cares. Wasn't her cameo last season at Luann's ladies luncheon enough to tide viewers over for a few more seasons? I can't think of anyone who's dying to see more of Jellybean Kelly on their TV screens.
Beautique looked like a bit of an odd vibe, with so much alcohol flowing and young men everywhere, it was a veritable cougar's den. Sonja's with hot German model Dominik, Luann's with his friend and Ramona's trying to flirt her way into a Mario dopplegänger's arms. That is, until Dorinda's boyfriend John shows up minus Dorinda for some sort of 'business meeting' in the middle of said cougar's den. So far, John's gotten a bit of a rough edit, and I have the feeling that will continue throughout the season - we're not seeing too many great sides of him. It was nice, though, to see all the ladies stick up for Dorinda by confronting him about his presence in the back room of Beautique. Because even a drunken show of solidarity is still worth something, right?