The first ladies of Bravo are back for a second hour of discussing Season 10. The second part of the OC reunion starts with a montage of some of the most OMG-worthy moments of the season - circle jerks, leeches and colonic mishaps included. Does Vicki really know what a circle jerk is? (The answer is still no.) Andy has more than a few questions about how Shannon managed to get a colonic stuck up her behind, but I'd rather not dwell on that visual. Moving on...
Who Wears the Fancy Pants?
Next, we're treated to a package chronicling Heather's season trying to be all things for her family. When you take a step back and look at everything Fancy Pants managed to accomplish this year, it's pretty amazing. Over the course of 19 episodes, she launched both Collette, her sparkling wine and her skincare line with Terry, Consult Beaute, hosted a trip to Napa Valley and managed to stay largely out of the fray when it came to the other women's drama - all while building a house so large it can probably be seen from space. The question of whether all the money the Dubrows are making is worth Terry being an "absentee" dad gets asked, and Heather succinctly defends her family dynamic. Fancy Pants recognizes that Botched won't be on the air for 30 years, so while it's going, Terry is happy and fulfilled and she's willing to work a little harder to make sure they have time together as a family. She also tells Andy that she doesn't know what the current budget of the Dubrow Chateau is (or she just doesn't want to say), but she's willing to sell him the two frozen embryos she and Terry have. That child would be a match made in Bravo heaven.
Foul Ball, Jim Edmonds
Seating on the couches is rearranged as Meghan's husband Jimmy joins the ladies. In all of Andy's years as a diehard Cardinals fan, he never thought he would see the day when the all-star was at a reunion. Jimmy is promptly put in the hot seat over his marriage and how he treated Meghan throughout the season. As scenes play back of the athlete being condescending, short and downright rude to his wife, Meghan insists that she doesn't actually let Jimmy get away with treating her unkindly. Whether or not you believe that, Jimmy tries to defend his behavior by pointing out that during filming he was flying constantly between St. Louis and the OC. His excuse for bad behavior is that every time he was in California, cameras were in his face, he didn't want to be involved in any drama and he wasn't ready for a reality TV show to capture everything about his life. He got advice from some of the 'Wives following the rough season that needs to be remembered by everyone who embarks on the journey reality TV: they can't edit what you don't say. At the end of the day, he can't take back the rude things he said, though I find it strange that apparently people in St. Louis think his "banter" with Meghan is funny and charming. Ultimately the rookie Househusband recognizes that he should've been nicer to his wife throughout the season. Any bets on seeing a new and improved, camera-ready Jim Edmonds next season?
Jimmy denies ever telling Brooks that two out of the four months he'd been married to Meghan were challenging, and before she can get attacked, the OG pipes up to claim she misspoke when she repeated that tidbit of gossip at the sex party. Apparently, what Brooks actually said was that the Edmonds had had "a couple" of instances that were difficult and Vicki latched onto the number "two" from what Brooks told her. So two arguments became two hard months. Tell-a-Vicki, telephone? The OG explains that she was speaking out of anger when she lobbied the accusation at Meghan and Jimmy and that she no longer believes they'll be divorced within five years.
An Off-Camera Betrayal
With the spotlight now on Vicki, Heather brings up another comment she made at the sex party in light of Tamra's revelation regarding her custody battle. We didn't see the moment in the episode, but at one point during the party Tammy Sue jokingly put a strap-on over her lace outfit. Watching from the bar, Vicki commented to Heather something to the effect of "no wonder she's losing custody of her kids." Ouch. Heather was rightfully horrified by the comment, and couldn't believe Vicki would say something so rude about her best friend after all these years. In an uncharacteristically heated moment, Heather gets rather fired up in her defense of Tamra, saying Vicki's comment made her sick and that she couldn't believe what she was hearing. All Vicki can do at this point is apologize, but good for Heather for once again demonstrating the meaning of real girl code.
Saving the Beadors' Marriage
Next, the affair that rocked Shannon and David's marriage gets brought up again. (On a side note, that transitional cutaway was weirdly jarring. I don't remember anything similar being done at another reunion before.) Much about this topic was beaten to death during the season and covered during the couple's WWHL one-on-one with Andy, so there isn't a ton of new information here. Heather reveals an interesting tidbit, though, about what was really going on behind-the-scenes last year after her infamous lunch with Tamra. At the lunch, the Beadors' marriage obviously got brought up and rumors had been swirling around Orange County. Because of mutual friends, Heather suspected she knew who the mistress was. After filming with Tamra, she met a group of girls at the restaurant where the cheating rumors were brought up. Unbeknownst to Heather, one of the girls texted the mistress under the table, not knowing she was the woman destroying Shannon's marriage. Once the other woman found out, she called David, who texted Shannon who was in the middle of filming with Tamra. At that moment, Heather knew she was right about the identity of the mistress. What a twisted web the OC is.
Some viewers questioned whether Shannon was brave or selfish for broadcasting her marital troubles on national TV but she stands by her decision, saying that it would've come out either way since all of the OC knew about it. Plus. she says, sending the message to her kids that fighting for family is important made the entire thing worth it no matter how humiliating or difficult it may have been. There are no more secrets in the Beador family and they're happier than they've ever been. Andy asks if she's seen the mistress since, and Shannon says that she has seen her in public, but hasn't reacted or confronted her. (This was before the epic smackdown between the two at last week's USC football game.) Andy jokingly announces to bring the mistress out, and the room erupts into nervous laughter while Shannon turns red. Sometimes, he just can't help himself.
Briana and Girth Brooks
After another weird transition (seriously, they're bothering me. Why not just go to commercial?), Briana joins the reunion to discuss everyone's favorite person: Brooks Ayers. Brooks has officially moved out of Vicki's house following the break-up, which the OG blames on the couple having "too many issues" to last as life partners. According to Vicki, her priorities are back squarely on Briana - where they arguably should've been for the last four years anyway. Briana says that Brooks had a nasty habit of doing terrible things while Vicki was across the room, leaving her torn over whether to even tell her mom and cause a problem. Case in point - Brooks apparently hit on a very-pregnant Briana at Vicki's birthday party. Eww. When she told Vicki what happened, the OG called her a liar and said Brooks would never want her. Can you believe this?? He told Briana he wanted to show her his penis, which he's nicknamed Girth Brooks. This is absolutely vile and disgusting.
Brooks isn't at the reunion for the first time since Season 7, but Andy had a chance to interview him in a one-on-one in the WWHL Clubhouse. Long story short, he doesn't blame the show for his breakup with Vicki - just the other 'Wives and Briana. When asked whether he considers Briana the show's voice of reason (which at this point is basically an undeniable fact), Brooks claims Briana is lying about him. When Andy asks what her motivation could possibly be to lie, Brooks lobbies accusations at Briana of hearsay, manipulation and taking advantage of Vicki. According to Brooks, Briana is guilty of the very things she's accusing him of - using Vicki and relying on her financially. A shocked Briana boldly points out that she hasn't taken a dime from her mom in years. After all, she's an ER nurse making six figures a year. Briana also points to the last conversation she ever had with her grandma before her sudden passing. The day before she died, Briana spent two and a half hours on the phone with Vicki's mom and much of the conversation revolved around how much she didn't trust Brooks. Contrary to what Vicki claimed in Tahiti, her mom wasn't a fan of her boyfriend. In fact, she was worried he was going to take Vicki's money and she couldn't stand looking at him. What would Briana have to gain by lying about that? Nothing, says Vicki, as Part 2 ends with Briana's final word on the man who consumed her mom for the last four years: scumbag.